Pixie Dust
by AllieRoseTrippedAgain
Summary: Renee took Bella away from a life she loved at 12 years old. With frequent visits to Charlie, she kept contact with her old friends. When Renee marries Phil, both of them are violent with Bella. This is what happens when she gets out. *Cannon Couples*
1. Preface

**~~Re-written~~**

**Author's Note:**

**This is my first fic. If it sucks, I'm sorry, and if there's a typo, please let me know. I hate those and it bothers me when I see them.**

**Don't hesitate to give constructive criticism. I'm a nice person, I won't be angry.**

**The couples are pretty much the only thing in this story that's cannon. And there _WILL _be lemons in later chapters and descriptions of rape and abuse. Reader beware.**

**Now, enjoy :)**

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"It's your fault. This is all on you, mommy dearest. If you think I want to stay one more day with you, then you're fucking psycho. YOU took me away from dad. YOU took me away from my friends. YOU made my life a living hell for 5 years. I can't deal with your shit anymore. I'm going to dads, and if you want to take that to court, go ahead. I'll gladly tell them where I want to be."

I was going to pay for that, but oh well. I had already talked to Charlie. I'm leaving in the morning, when she's still asleep. He doesn't know why.

"Isabella Marie Swan. None of this was my fault. It's all your fault. You ruined my marriage. If anybody even wanted you, you wouldn't be here right now. You should be happy I kept you around all this time. You're the biggest mistake I ever made. If it were up to me, I would have had an abortion." she said in a tone just as deadly. She didn't hit me though, to which I was surprised. She just walked away.

No matter what she said to me, even when I was a small child, it never really affected me. I just brushed it off and laughed behind her back. I know that I'm loved, and a good person. I'm just not loved by her. This is why nobody knew. It was like it wasn't really happening. Nobody would guess based on anything other than the bruises, and I'm clumsy enough to lie about those.

I went to my room and sat on my bed, letting my mind wander. I thought back to how this all came to be.

_Five years ago…_

"_Charlie. We're leaving. I can't do this anymore. I can't put down anymore roots here. Just let me go." my mom said while pulling me out to the car._

"_Mom, where are we going? Why isn't dad coming?" I asked frantically. I didn't want to lose my dad. Why was she taking me? I want to stay here._

"_Bella, we're going on vacation, but daddy still has to work."_

_Of course, being 12, I knew better. She was leaving my father._

"_No. Mom. You guys are getting divorced. You're leaving dad, aren't you?" I screamed, tears rolling down my face. Renee sighed._

"_Yes, Bella. We are."_

_This was the day my mother turned into a heartless shrew._

…

I thought about how often my mother tried to tell me that nobody wanted me. I chuckled to myself, pulling out the cell phone that Renee didn't know I had. Charlie had gotten it for me the last time I saw him, about a year ago, to keep in touch with old friends easier.

Renee used to keep up with the whole "shared custody" thing, but once she met _him_, the visits to my father in Forks were very limited in number. That had always been hard for me, not just _him_, but not seeing my dad and friends. I kept in touch with my old friends, whom I missed a lot, and I was still very close with Charlie. I'd always been a daddy's girl. Though, no matter how close I was to these people, none of them knew what Renee did to me since that day. It was abuse, whether she would admit it or not. I'm pretty sure my right knee is completely shot, but that could just be from my extreme clumsiness.

I scrolled through my contacts until I found who I was looking for. My best friend from Forks, Alice Cullen.

Alice was a bubbly little thing. With her short spiky black hair, and very petite size, she'd always reminded me of a pixie, or Tinkerbelle. This is why I often called her "Tink".

I pressed send and hoped Alice answered.

"Ohmigod, Bella! I miss you!" Alice squealed into the phone. I hadn't told her the news yet.

"Hello to you too." I smiled instantly hearing my childhood best friend. "I miss you, too. Not for long though. If I tell you something to you promise not to attack Charlie?"

"You're coming home aren't you? OH MY GOD BELLA! For how long? When? Oh, you just made my day! You can finally meet Jasper!"

Jasper's Alice's boyfriend. He had moved to Forks in the last year, so I haven't met him yet. We've talked though, and he's a very cool dude.

"Well actually, I'll be there tomorrow an-" I was interrupted by her high-pitched scream of joy.

"What the hell, Alice. Why are you screaming? Who are you talking to?" I heard Alice's fraternal twin brother, Edward, in the background. He must have heard her from his room.

"Hold on Edward, I think there's more!" I can see her bouncing around like a lunatic and Edward staring at her like she's nuts, which she is. "Please, tell me there's more."

"There is. I'm moving back. For good." I smiled.

"OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. YES!" she screamed, sounding oddly like she was having an orgasm, and I head Edward asking her questions again. Me and Edward were always close, but nothing like I was with Alice and Emmett, their older brother. He's also like sex on legs. Last time I saw him he was about 6' and a medium build with amazingly green eyes and unique bronze hair. He's a beautiful guy. Alice was still screaming "oh my god" over and over.

"Alice?" I asked her.

"Sorry… I got excited."

"I noticed." I giggled. "Now please, tell that douche-canoe I said hi. I can hear him in the room."

"Edward. Bella says 'hi douche-canoe'" I heard him laugh, then a little bit of rustling and complaints from Alice. That's our thing. We makeup 'swear words' to call each other. He usually comes up with better ones.

"Hi cum-guzzling twat waffle," I heard him suddenly on the phone, with Alice now singing "If you're happy and you know it" like a 7 year old. "Why is Alice so excited?"

"I'm surprised she hasn't screamed it at you yet. I'm coming home, tomorrow. For good." I said glancing at the clock. It's 11:00. I had to be at the airport by 4. Fuck sleep.

"No shit. That's awesome. Alice just ran for the house phone, I think she's going to beg Charlie to let her pick you up." He chuckled, and I laughed too.

"Probably. But that's okay. I miss her, too. So anyway, how're things? It's been forever since I've seen you guys."

"Well, Alice still didn't get any taller." He laughed, and I laughed too when I heard her complain in the background.

"Oh that's too bad. Looks like she's "Tink" forever then." I sighed. I just wanted to be home.

"Well, Tinkerbelle is cooler than Peter Pan, and Wendy." He joked, remembering that his parents would call me and him Peter and Wendy. I never quite understood why though. For now, I just laughed with him.

About 5 minutes later, Alice had the phone back and we were already making plans for me to sleep there the first night that Charlie was willing to give me up. We continued talking about everything, and nothing at all until about 2. Turns out she had asked Charlie to go to the airport. She would be there, of course.

"Listen, Tink. I have to head to the airport. My flight's at six. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm fully prepared to be tackled" I laughed.

It's spring break in Forks. She had nowhere else to be.

"Okay, I can't wait to see you! Bye Wendy" I could practically hear her wink.

"Bye." I said hanging up and calling a cab.

I was finally free. I had a feeling that life was about to get a lot better.


	2. Welcome Home

**~~Rewritten~~**

**You guys are truely amazing. Thank you so much for the reviews, and favorites, and alerts and such.**

**I'm working on the next chapter, as I procratinate by updating for you guys... :)**

**I know the last chapter wasn't funny, and this story is supposed to be a funny one, but I promise, the funny starts in this one.**

**Thanks again for being amazing and reading :)**

**Oh, and something I forgot last time. I am not Stephanie, I am Allie. I own none of the characters, as much as I wish I did...**

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The first plane ride was long, boring and uneventful, but at the same time the most exciting four hours of my life, keeping me awake the entire time. It went by so slow. After what felt like days the pilot was finally telling us to prepare for the landing in Seattle. I had a 30 minute plane ride to Port Angeles then I would be with Alice and Charlie. The two most important people in my life. It felt great to be free.

I had about 20 minutes before boarding the second plane, so I took that time to go to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and groaned. There was a nice hand-shaped bruise on my left cheek. Thanks Renee. Now I have to tell them. It can't even be blamed on an accident. Fuck.

I quickly rinsed my face off and pulled my brush out of my carry-on and ran it through my hair. I looked exhausted, but there was no way I'd sleep now.

The rest of the journey flew by and before I knew it, I was walking towards the security checkpoint in Port Angeles. I saw Alice and Charlie before they saw me. Alice was literally jumping and Charlie was laughing quietly and rolling his eyes, even though he too was bouncing on his heels a little bit. Before I knew what I was doing, I took off running. Alice noticed too and ran to catch me.

"BELLA!" she squealed as we reached each other.

"Oof!" I grunted as she tackled me, literally. "Alice!"

"I missed you so much, oh my god. We have so much to catch up on!" she held me on the floor while Charlie laughed at us.

"Alice, don't I get to say hi?"

"Alice, I love you, but I missed my dad, too." I laughed and she pouted, helping me off the floor. Charlie immediately pulled me into a hug.

"I missed you too, Bells. Welcome home." he said before pulling away to get a good look at me. He frowned right away. Crap. "What the hell happened?"

"Oh, this?" I asked pointing to my cheek, "That's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing." Alice interjected.

"Well… uh… Can we talk about this later?" I shuffled my feet nervously.

"Bella, did Renee do this?" Charlie asked touching the bruise, of course I flinched.

"Yeah. She's done worse though." I mumbled. I didn't want to talk about this yet, so I began walking towards the exit. The only effect the situation had on me was I was embarrassed about it. Embarrassed that I just took it for so long. I should have said something sooner.

I could tell Charlie was fuming, and Alice was upset, but they both kept quiet about it until we were in the car.

Of course Charlie took the police cruiser. He had another car but more or less refused to drive it since he could drive the cruiser where ever he wanted because he was the chief of police.

"What do you mean she's done worse? Why didn't you tell me?" Charlie practically yelled.

"Well," I started as we got in, I sat shotgun and Alice climbed in the back looking like she was going to cry, "Really, It's not a big deal. I honestly laughed at her after she hit me. I knew she was a shitty person when she dragged me along to Phoenix. Plus, it never came up."

"This is all my fault." Charlie said looking absolutely broken.

"Dad, no it isn't. Renee is a bitch. She just completely changed. Plus, it's not like I'm going back. It really isn't your fault. If anything it's mine for not learning to listen the first time." I winked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have noticed something. There has to be some kind of signs for this thing." Alice cried suddenly.

"Not you too! Alice, all the signs of it are things that I don't have. Like depression, I am CLEARLY not depressed. I don't cut myself, or have low self-esteem. In fact, I love myself a little too much…" I trailed off. "Anyway, can we please not talk about this? I'm fine, and un-traumatized, I promise." From Renee anyway, I added mentally," I don't hate anybody except Renee over this. It's nobody's fault that she's a heartless shrew other than her own." I smiled.

"You're really okay?" Charlie asked.

"I really am," I said glancing at the speedometer. I need sleep. "Dad. The speed limit is like 65, you're going 50. Step it up gramps." I joked, loosening the tension a little bit. Charlie and Alice both laughed.

"In a hurry?" Alice asked.

"Well, I haven't slept in about 48 hours." I yawned.

"Oh. I wanted to hang out when we got back." Alice frowned.

"Well maybe tonight you can sleep over?" I smiled at Charlie, hoping he'd say yes.

"Of course, Alice. It'll be nice having you around again. It's too quiet alone, and Bells isn't exactly noisy."

"Well then," I began as we pulled up to the same 2 bedroom house my parents bought together. I missed it here, "We can bring my things upstairs, and then Alice and I can go grab her things?" I looked at Alice for approval.

"Good. Oh you need to come by the house ASAP. Carlisle and Esme are so excited to see you. Even Emmett was bouncing around. I thought he was going to cry from happiness." she answered laughing. "Edward was grinning like an idiot. I think he missed you more than he was willing to let on. I'll text him and Emmett and have them let the padres know" She said bouncing in her seat, waiting to be let out of the back. I laughed at her, and opened her door.

"Holy crap Alice. Is that yours?" I asked pointing to the Canary Yellow Porsche 911 Turbo in the street.

"Yes it is, and no you cannot drive it." She smiled grabbing one of the smaller suitcases from the trunk.

"Oh, why not? You are a cruel girl." I frowned. She knows how I am about sports cars.

She just laughed running to the house. We all had a bag and carried it up to my room. It was still baby blue with yellowing lace curtains.

"Oh." Alice said. Thanks, Alice.

"Uh, Dad? Can I do some minor renovations in here?" I asked. It was ugly in here.

"Sure. It's your room, not mine. As long as there's no walls being knocked down, do whatever.

After a few minutes of looking around the room, I knew what to do. I was going to paint the walls black and do neon splatter paint on them.

Alice was on the phone with Edward.

"What do you mean no? Everyone missed her. Even you."

I shot Alice a confused look.

"Well get your ass home, now. We're on our way." she hung up before he could argue. "That boy is such a pain in my ass." she huffed.

"What'd he do now?" I giggled.

"He's with Jasper, and he claims they're too busy being manly, also known as playing video games, to go home right now. I told Jasper to come too. He listened right away; I thought I heard Edward tell him he's whipped." She babbled.

"Well, is he?"

"Duh." She giggled and I laughed with her. I missed this. We went downstairs, and I said bye to Charlie before walking out to Alice's Porsche.

"So, what's going on with Emmett? You never tell my much about him."

"Well he's seeing Rosalie Hale."

"No shit? I miss her too. I haven't talk to her in like years."

"Oh and by the way, everybody already knows you're back. I took the liberty to send out a mass text. So many people are excited, Bells. We may need to throw a party."

"No! No party!" I frowned.

"No means yes in my world!" she chimed pulling in her driveway. God she drives like a maniac. I noticed everybody but Edward, and I'm assuming Jasper, was on the front porch of their huge white house.

As soon as I was standing I was pulled into a bear hug by the monstrosity that is Emmett.

"Holy shit, Em! I need to breathe!" I yelped hugging him back. He put me down and smiled apologetically. "You got huge." I said, my jaw dropping.

"Yeah, I know." he smiled. I rolled my eyes and moved to find Esme and hug her.

"Bella, dear. It's so nice to see you!"

"You too Esme. You look great," I marveled. I swear the woman doesn't age. She thanked me passing me off to Carlisle, as a silver Volvo pulled in behind Alice. Must be Edward's. Total mom car.

"Bella." Rose smiled. I hadn't seen her since I moved. I'm surprised she still remembered me. "You look amazing." She complimented me, giving me a hug. I really missed all of these people.

"I look amazing? You look like a super model." I joked.

She smiled, and thanked me waving to someone over my shoulder.

I turned around to see some tall blond guy, with bright blue eyes, with an arm wrapped around Alice. He must be Jasper.

"I'm assuming you're Jasper?" I asked.

"And you must be Bella." he said with a slight southern drawl and a smile, letting go of Alice to give me a quick hug. We talked enough to be considered friends.

"Nice to finally put a face to the voice." I joked. Everybody but the three of us, and Edward had gone inside already. "Now where is my bloody cum-bubble?"

Jasper looked confused, and Alice laughed.

"Bella and Edward don't call each other by their names. They invent swear words to call each other. I think Bella won this one, bloody cum-bubble? Where do you get this stuff?" she explained just as Edward popped up behind her. He must have been doing something in his car.

For some reason all we did for about a minute was stare at each other. He looked beyond amazing. Now I remembered why I always had a crush on him. Two words. Sex hair.

"Bloody cum-bubble, eh?" he finally spoke, "I don't think I can beat that. How about cock juggling thunder cunt?" he smiled his perfect crooked smile that had always stunned me for a moment. I laughed.

"That is a good one," I sighed. He won again. "You win." I frowned.

"Good." he said finally pulling me into a hug. I swore I felt an electric current that was never there before. I liked it, whatever it was. "I missed you, Balls." he breathed into my ear. Balls? His version of Bells I guess.

"I missed you, too" I said just as quietly.

The hug lasted a second longer than a normal friend hug. Huh. It was definitely different. All the others were friendly, but that. That was almost intimate.

I remembered Alice always joked that me and him belonged together, which is why her parents called us Wendy and Peter. I also remembered wishing she was right, but always denying it.

Then again, don't get me wrong I'm not ugly with my layered dark brown hair and dark brown eyes that actually aren't boring, not to mention perfect tits, but I know I'm way out of the league of Edward Cullen. I'm pretty, but not exactly sex on legs, like he is.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by R.E.M.'s _Losing My Religion. _Damn it Charlie.

"Hello?" I answered following Edward into the house, but pausing before I reached the living room. Everyone but Alice was in there. She must be getting her stuff together.

"Hey Bells. Listen, I'm headed down to Billy's for the night, I won't be home until late tomorrow afternoon, around 4. Are you and Alice going to be okay alone for the night?" he asked. FUCK YES! Don't get me wrong, I missed Charlie, but now more people could come hang out, like I don't know, Edward?

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll be fine, and if not we'll just call Carlisle and Esme." I responded, trying not to sound too overly happy.

"Alright, I'll leave some money on the counter for you guys to order food, we don't have much here. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Dad. Bye." I hung up as I walked into the living room with everyone else, finally. Everyone was suddenly gaping at my face, except Alice, who had rejoined them all. Ugh. Not them too.

"Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Yes Emmett?" I responded sitting on the floor next to Alice.

"What happened to your face?" he asked, earning a slap to the back of the head from Rosalie, which made me laugh.

"Well, actually, Renee happened. She changed a lot from what you guys knew…" I said trailing off a little bit at the end. Everyone except Alice either gasped or "omg'd". "It's not a big deal. It's just a little bruise." I wrote it off before I was subjected to a Spanish Inquisition. "You ready to go, Alice?"

"Yeah, let's go." Alice bounced. We said bye to everyone, and Alice practically mauled Jasper.

"Charlie won't be home tonight. He's staying at Billy's down in La push." I said beaming at Alice once we were in the safety of her car.

"Oh my god! Really?! We should have everyone come hang out. It'll be fun. We can all catch up, and you and Jasper can get to know each other." she rattled off. I noticed everyone was coupled off except me and Edward. Maybe this would be beneficial.

"Okay, but one rule. No sex in Charlie's bed." I laughed, but she looked truly upset about it. "They can all sleep over too. Charlie won't be back until 4 tomorrow."

"Text Edward now and tell him to come up with a story" she was bouncing in the driver's seat, but we were already down the street from my house. So I texted away.

_Hey pocket rocket. Charlie is gone until 4 tomorrow afternoon. Are you, Em, Rose, and Jasper up for a good old, lie-about-where-you're-sleeping slumber party? -Bella_

"They have been informed." I smiled walking into the house, straight to the kitchen.

"Good. I'm hungry. Cook me something." she ordered. I laughed; she's exactly the same as she used to be.

"Charlie said there's no food here. That's what this," I picked up the $40 from the counter, "is for. Chinese or Pizza? Your choice."

"Definitely Chinese. I'll order." she said pulling out her cell, as mine beeped, signaling a text.

_Definitely. We're all in. we'll be there in 10, jiggly tits ;) -Edward_

I frowned and looked at my tits. They are NOT jiggly. They're perfect.

_I do not have jiggly tits, you tool. They're flawless. Not that you'd know. See you when you get here ;) –Bella_

Did I really just flirt with Edward through a text?

"I have to go get the food. When will they be here?" Alice asked, grabbing her keys.

"10 minutes… Hey, Alice? Are my tits jiggly?" I asked and she burst out laughing.

"I don't know, hold on." she walked up to me and grabbed my left boob. "Nope, definitely not jiggly. You have great boobs by the way. I'm jealous. Perfect handful size." she frowned looking at her own nearly non-existent chest. I giggled.

"Thanks, hon."

"You're welcome. I'll be back in like 15." she said walking out of the house. I went up to my room to unpack some pajamas, even though it was only one in the afternoon. I settled on shorts and a tank top and slipped them on and pulled my hair into a sloppy ponytail as the doorbell rang.

"Howdy." Jasper said as I answered. "Where's Alice?"

"Wow, you are whipped. She went to get us lunch. She'll be back in like 5 minutes."

"Food?" Emmett asked as he walked past me. Everyone filed one by one into the living room.

"Yes food. Chinese actually." I said turning back to the door, to see Edward still standing there. Staring actually.

"Douche face, you're drooling." I giggled and his eyes snapped up to my face, and he smiled that crooked smile. I walked over to him and whispered into his ear. "I told you they aren't jiggly." winking before I turned away. Alice was in the driveway. I swear she's going to die in a car accident one of these days, or I was just letting myself be ogled for too long.

"Bella!" I heard Alice call. Edward was still staring when I turned around. I blushed and looked around him. She had a ridiculous amount of food.

"Oh! Edward, help your sister, if you can manage to not look at me for 30 seconds." I said and he did as he was told. Never knew I had power over him. Maybe I should call him by his name more often… Alice looked at me shocked. He never listened to anybody.

"How did you do that?" I heard Emmett behind me.

"I have no idea. I guess I'm just that good. Or maybe he needed a distraction from my tits." I joked. I still have no idea how I did that.

"You do have an amazing rack." Edward stated simply as he walked past me.

"Tell me something I don't know." I giggled.

Tonight was going to be lots of fun.


	3. Boob fondling and Phone Calls

**~~Rewritten~~**

**** I'm SO SO SO SO SO sorry that I keep updating this chapter like 7,000 times. I keep noticing typos everytime I re-read it and my OCDish self feels compelled to fix every single one. My bad!****

**You guys are super amazing. For the six of you that reviewed, thank you so much for telling me that I'm doing a good job. Remember, get that six up to a 10 and you get to see the first two chapters from Edward's POV. It's almost fully written, and I like how it's coming out so far :)**

**I'm not sure if this chapter is done or not. I don't know if I like that I ended it where I did, but it might stay, it might not.**

**And All you guys that favorited/story alterted this story, I love you guys too :)**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, I am Allie. Therefore, Twilight is not mine, and neither are the characters. Thanks, and have a lovely day**

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"Why is it that I always end up on the floor?" I pouted sitting in front of the loveseat that Alice and Jasper occupied in my living room.

"Because, cunt muffin, you happen to be the slowest." Edward smiled from Charlie's chair, digging into some General Tso's chicken that Alice had brought home.

"Plus, it's your house, you're obligated to treat us like guests, and guests get first choice." Emmett chided from the couch. I gave him a dirty look.

"Guests my ass. And actually, you little ingrown pubic hair, I'm not the slowest. I'm just the clumsiest. I could probably run faster than you if I wouldn't fall every time I tried."

"Now I'm an ingrown pube? Thanks." Edward laughed.

"Hey, you started this game, you can stop it whenever you'd like."

"Not a chance." He said shooting another perfect crooked smile that always stunned me for a second.

"Anyway, my ass hurts guys."

"That's your problem." Alice pointed out.

"I'm sure Alice would massage it for you if Jasper wasn't right there, but who knows, he could be into that kind of thing." Rose joked.

"Psh, I already felt her up earlier; I don't need to grope her ass too." Alice shot right back. We both started cracking up.

"You what?" Jasper choked on his egg roll a little bit. Priceless.

"Well, you see. It's Edwards fault." Alice explained.

"How is it my fault?"

"When you called me jiggly tits I got worried that they were actually getting jiggly so I asked Alice and she used to fool proof grope test to make sure." I added.

"And of course they were fine. I'm actually jealous of her boobs. They're perfect handful size. It's amazing." Alice added to my explanation while everyone except Edward-who looked amazed- and Jasper-who looked sad that he missed the show-, was laughing.

"You actually got concerned about that?" Edward asked staring straight at my chest.

"Well, yeah. My tits won't be perfect forever. My face is up here by the way," I joked. Another priceless face came out of that one.

"Have you always been this open?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, yeah, always. I flashed Emmett when I was like six… my parents weren't too happy about that. And seriously you guys, my ass is completely asleep."

"Oh! Speaking of sleep, Edward," Alice began. "What were you dreaming about last night?" she asked, he blushed.

Holy crap. Edward Cullen blushed. The world is ending.

"What are you talking about Tink?"

"Well, it's just I thought I heard you moan…"

"Oh speaking of dreams, I had the weirdest one when I slept last, when was that? Wednesday?" I wondered out loud.

"Bells?" Alice complained.

"Shut up, Alice. I'm telling a story," cue giggles and a disappointed Alice, with a grateful smile from Edward, "So I was in this room with some random guy I've never seen before, and he just kind of stood there fondling my boobs, trying to decide which one he liked better, and I just let him do it. He decided on Bill." I finished.

"Bill?" Rose asked. She and Emmett were being oddly quiet tonight…

"Bill is my left boob. The right one is Betty Crocker."

"I remember that." Edward chuckled. "You have really fucked up dreams by the way."

"And you give my left boob really bad names, by the way. But that's not the most fucked up dream I've ever had."

"You named it Bill?" Alice asked Edward. "I always wanted to change it to Nina but she would never let me."

"Well, Bill is an awesome name for a boob."

I glanced at the clock, but I really was getting tired. It was only 3:30. I yawned.

"Err, guys? I think I need a nap. Somebody wake me up in like 3 hours? You guys can do whatever until then." I got up. Well tried to. My ass was still seriously numb.

"Having trouble?" Edward laughed.

"You'd be surprised how hard it is to get up when your ass is completely numb. I'm positive I could be spanked right now and I wouldn't feel a thing." I joked finally getting up. I jumped a little when I felt a little push on my ass, but heard a loud smack. Alice spanked me. "I barely felt that."

Everyone started cracking up. I rolled my eyes and waved to everyone going up to my room. I shut my bedroom door and I was about to fall into bed when somebody knocked on my door.

"Come in." I said and Edward poked his head through the door.

"Hey, uh, I just wanted to say thanks for distracting them." he looked nervous? That's a new one.

"No problems, you always were the worst at handling embarrassing situations." I smiled. "But I think they all figured it out though. Moans are a dead giveaway to sex dreams. So who was it about?" I grinned, wondering if he'd actually tell me. He blushed again.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes. I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat you know." he said coming to sit on the bed with me.

"Good thing I'm not a cat then. Now spill, you know I can keep a secret. No need to be embarrassed." I chuckled.

"Well, uh, it was kind of you." I'm sure my eyes were the size of teacup saucers for a second.

"Oh. Well then. Was I any good?" I joked. I knew how he hated feeling uncomfortable so I might as well make it a little easier on him.

"Very, actually." he smiled, effectively stopping my heart for a beat. "Easily the best one I've ever had."

Wow. Edward had a sex dream about me, and it was the best he ever had? Wow. Dream Bella is one lucky bitch.

"Well, as long as you enjoyed it." I smiled back to him, almost unsure of what else to say.

What did that mean? People don't usually have sex dreams about people they aren't into, do they? There's no way Edward was into me.

I looked down at my hands suddenly unsure if I'd be able to sleep.

"Balls?" he whispered. I looked at him; he looked wary of something.

"Douche?" I mumbled, half asleep.

"I really missed you."

Edward sat on my bed next to where I was laying down, waiting for me to say something. When I didn't he started to get up.

He lay down next to me, pulling me into his side so my head was resting on his shoulder.

"Never." He whispered into my hair.

I got the feeling he was talking about much longer than the next three hours.

I fell asleep faster than I ever had before.

All too soon I was startled awake by a knock on the door. I was still curled into the side of Edward's sleeping form which made my smile as the door cracked open and Alice popped her head in. She immediately looked confused at the still sleeping Edward in my bed.

"Why's he in here?" she whispered.

"He wanted to talk and I guess I fell asleep and he never left." I half lied flawlessly, clearly appeasing her for now.

"Oh, well it's been 3 hours if you're ready to come down."

"Thanks." I smiled to her, and she left the room.

I really needed that nap. 48 hours without sleep was far too much.

I snuggled back into Edward's side, apparently shaking him just enough to wake him up.

"Hi." He mumbled.

"Thanks for staying." I whispered.

"You know, I'm not an ingrown pube all the time." he joked and I chuckled.

"I knew that. But still, thank you." I said cuddling into his side a little hoping he thought it was a hug. He was just so comfy.

"Anytime, Bella. Your bed is more comfy than mine and I'll sleep here anytime you want me to." He grinned.

What? I stared at him in shock. He hadn't called me by my name since I was 6.

"What are you staring at?" he looked confused.

"You called me by my name," I mumbled. "You haven't called me my name since I was like, 6."

"Oh. Has it been that long?"

"Yeah." I shook my head and stopped staring. "Let's get downstairs."

He nodded and got up, helping me out of bed after. I smiled shyly.

I liked the way my name sounded when he said it. I never liked my name, but suddenly I loved it. I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair, leaving it in waves framing my face, then went back to my room to get my phone.

I sighed and went back downstairs, where everyone was watching a movie I'd never seen. Rose told me it was called _Twilight_. I looked around noticing all the seats were taken again. Feeling suddenly brave, I went and sat on Edwards lap in Charlie's chair, curling into his chest a little, throwing my legs over one arm of the chair, and resting my head on his shoulder. He instantly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He smelled really good. Like a combination of chocolate, flowers and leather. It smells better than it sounds, I swear.

"Are you still tired?" He whispered in my ear, his warm breath sent shivers down my spine.

I nodded and cuddled a little closer. When I shifted my weight I felt something poking my hamstring. He stiffened and looked mortified as I gasped and raised an eyebrow at him. I felt like it should bother me, but it wasn't so bad.

Well, any doubts I had about Edward finding me attractive were completely gone. I gave him a boner simply by sitting on his lap. I almost felt talented.

Neither one of us paid any attention to the movie, which I still hadn't figured out what it was about. My time was spent periodically shifting my weight earning nearly inaudible groans from Edward. I smiled every time. Then when nobody was looking he'd trace small patterns on my legs. It was more than a little distracting.

"I'm hungry." Emmett said as soon as the movie ended.

"You're always hungry." Rose pointed out.

"No, I'm always hungry for you, but this time, I'm hungry for food." he winked at her.

"Gross, guys. I think I need to remind you guys of the rule. No sex in Charlie's bed. Or my bed. Or the couch, or kitchen table. Or any other flat stable surface inside the house. Feel free to use the woods though." I joked and everyone laughed. "But I'm hungry too."

"Bella, make us something!" Alice complained, "I missed your cooking almost as much as I missed you."

"But there is nothing cookable in this house." I frowned. Then she pouted. Oh no. Not the pout.

"But Bella…" she started.

"No, Alice. Unless you want to go buy something for me to cook, I can't do it." I joked, but her face lit up. She was dragging Jasper towards the door before I finished the sentence. We all laughed.

"So, Emmett… how about we go make use of the woods for a few minutes?" Rose asked. I couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's reaction of throwing her over his shoulder and running. My body moving on top of Edwards was causing some more beautiful noises.

"Bella." he almost moaned. I turned to face him, smirking. His eyes were smoldering.

"Yes, Edward?"

* * *

**Cliffhanger! :o**

**I know, I'm evil. I just kind of hit some minor writer's block here. Uh oh!**

**You like? Reviews are beautiful :)**

**BY THE WAY! That dream, I actually had that dream a few days before I wrote that. It seemed like the prefect distraction from Edward's sex dream ;)**

**And yes. My dreams are fucked and weird, but stupidly entertaining most of the time.**


	4. Oralgasm

**~~Rewritten~~**

**I'm sorry this took so long guys. I've had so much going on this past week, so I haven't really been in much of a writing mood these last few days.**

**Again, I'm sorry that this is so short, but it's better than nothing, I hope.**

**I'll try to get the next chapter out ASAP.**

**I'm kind of disappointed that the reviews stopped at 9. I thought you guys would be more interested in Edward's sex dream? But that means, first review on this chapter is the cause for the outake being posted.**

**It'll be in a different story, probably called something along the lines of "Pixie Dust: The Outtakes". Creative right? Keep an eye out for it. :)**

**_Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, I am Allie. I own no recognizable material._**

* * *

Edward and I just sat there for a moment staring.

For a moment that was apparently more like 10 minutes, because as soon as his mouth was about to open to talk, Alice and Jasper burst through the front door.

God damn it.

I got up quickly, mostly because I know Alice would assume things, and nobody wanted to deal with an assumption filled Alice. I gave Edward an apologetic smile, and he gave one back. He understood, thank god.

I moved to the couch and he followed, sitting on the other end, but putting his legs in my lap. I rolled my eyes, and tickled his foot a little, causing him to let out the most ridiculous squeal I'd ever heard, just as Alice and Jasper came in, with a bag from the grocery store.

"Not cool. You're too far away" he frowned. Well, tried to frown because he was still laughing a little. I actually forgot just how ticklish his feet were.

"I forgot that you're ticklish, actually. And even if I was close enough, you wouldn't touch me." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Oh, I wouldn't?" he cocked and eyebrow.

"Nope. I think you would try, but remember that whole thing about me being faster?" I asked, pushing his feet off my lap and standing up. He nodded. "I wasn't kidding."

"Yeah, okay. I'll believe that when I see it." Alice chimed in.

"You all suck. You have no faith in me." I joked. "Anyway, what am I making for you guys?"

"You are making, drum roll please…" she paused and Edward started drumming on the coffee table until she signaled for him to stop. "Chicken Enchiladas!" she screamed looking like she could throw a party.

"Oh, good. Jasper, prepare to experience your first 'oralgasm'." I smirked, grabbing the bag form him and making my way to the kitchen.

"An oralgasm? What the hell is that?" Jasper questioned immediately.

"An oralgasm, is an orgasm for your mouth, from a food so delicious, that it's orgasmic. In my own odd little world inside my head, saliva is also known as oral jizz." I full out grinned as the three of them burst out laughing.

"Did we miss something?" Rose asked, just walking in the kitchen, looking slightly disheveled and followed closely behind by Emmett. Gross.

"I thought Bella said no sex in the house?" Alice giggled.

"But she said the woods were okay. Now what was so funny that we missed?" Emmett asked.

"Oh, just Jazz getting the oralgasm explanation for the first time." Edward laughed, while I worked on dinner.

"Oh. What's she making?"

"Chicken enchiladas. Totally oralgasm worthy." I smiled, and Emmett almost bounced with excitement. "By the way, I refuse to use beans. I learned that lesson last time. Never again around Emmett…" I trailed off a bit at the end.

"Hey, I wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad?! Even Charlie had a hard time being in the house for like three days!" we all laughed remembering the last time I was here. Jasper probably got the drift of the story because it was kind of obvious.

They all watched me make their dinner while talking about nothing, but everything at the same time. I really had missed my friends. So, so much.

We talked some more while we ate dinner. And then even more after. They mostly told me all the funny things I missed before I came home.

There was a lot.

Like I guess they got Edward in a flower print dress, which I got seriously disappointed that there were no pictures, and then Edward said it made him feel pretty and he pulled it off better than Jasper or Emmett would have.

I cried after I heard that one.

We all broke off into individual conversations eventually, and suddenly Alice was dragging me up the stairs, and into my room. She was silent until the door was safely shut and locked, and I was on my comfy king-sized bed.

"Spill it, Bells." she demanded right away.

"What are you talking about, Tink?"

"Edward. Spill it. Now."

"Uh, nothing happened. And I doubt anything will." I defended myself, but couldn't help the painful squeeze in my chest at that statement.

"Holy shit! You're totally into him!" she said, loudly causing me to give her a look that had I been Medusa would have turned her to stone.

"Alice. Please don't say anything." I mumbled, even though she was practically vibrating with happiness.

"Oh you guys will be great together!" she started.

"It's never going to happen. There's no way he feels the same. He probably just sees me as his little sister or something. It's just a crush, it'll go away." I said, getting an incredulous look from Alice the entire time.

"Are you kidding? Do you see the way he looks at you Bells? If I didn't know better, I'd say he's just about completely in love with you, or on his way to it. Don't worry. With a little bit of Tinkerbelle's pixie dust, this will all work out in the end." she comforted, rubbing my arm.

"But Alice. Tinkerbelle is a fairy. She had fairy dust. Not pixie dust. And it just made people fly." I corrected, but I had a feeling she could be right. She usually is.

"You're ruining the perfection that was that line, Bella." Alice frowned.

"Sorry, we can pretend I didn't say anything." I winked at her.

"Damn right we can. Now let's get back downstairs and I can work some magic."

Once we made it back downstairs we got a few questioning looks, but shrugged them off. We fell back into comfortable conversation, with me and Edward mildly, almost unnoticeably flirting with each other.

One by one people began falling asleep. Alice and Jazz went down first, going to Charlie's room where they were sleeping tonight. Then, Rose moved from the couch next to Emmett, to the love seat, and she was out next. I went down next, deciding I should go to bed once I was half asleep in Edward's lap. I don't know what happened from there.

I got to my room and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. I didn't sleep well to say the least. Renee seemed determined to star in my dream tonight. Or should I say nightmare?

_I opened my eyes to the old living room, back in Phoenix. Renee was across the room._

"_Bella?" she asked in that sarcastically sweet voice she always used before she was about to inflict some serious damage._

"_Yes, mom?" I gulped. She grabbed great-grandpa's cane from the corner of the room. Her weapon of choice when I really fucked up. I'm not sure what I did this time._

_She yelled at me for a while, something about how everything had been my fault. Until I cried and screamed. That's when she brought up the cane and slammed it into the outside of my right knee. I screamed, feeling the familiar pain. She'd done that more than once._

I was jerked awake by a loud noise. It took me a second to realize I'd actually screamed out loud.

The dull ache in my completely destroyed right knee was all too familiar. To the point where I only felt it when it got worse. I always knew it was there but I could ignore the shooting pain when I didn't think about the reason for it.

Another second and I noticed not only was I not alone, but I was sobbing into somebody's hard, warm chest. Once I realized it, my arms wrapped themselves around the person and I tried desperately to calm myself down.

I felt familiar fingers running through my hair. Edward.

It had probably only been a minute or so since I woke up screaming, even with the memory still burning in my brain, I instantly felt safe and calmer knowing it was Edward with me.

He did his best to calm me down, and I was thankful for that. Once the gut wrenching sobs had subsided into little hiccups I looked up at Edward, to see concern, and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on flash in his eyes. I thought of Alice's words from earlier.

"_Do you see the way he looks at you Bells? If I didn't know better, I'd say he's just about completely in love with you."_ was what she'd said.

"Thank you." I hiccupped, looking directly into his eyes.

"Anytime, Bella. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, and he nodded in understanding. I noticed the dull light of sunrise coming through my window as he started to get up. I grabbed his arm.

"Please don't go." I whispered. He smiled at me and got back in my bed.

I got a serious feeling of déjà vu, remembering earlier when I'd done the same thing.

"I'll stay as long as you need me to, Balls." he said pulling me into his side, so my head was resting on his shoulder. I that feeling again, that he was talking about more than just tonight.

Then I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt.

I tried to tell my hand not to do it, but the thing has a mind of its own. It reached down to his abs and began tracing the defined muscles there.

"Again, thank you." I mumbled sleepily.

I thought I felt his lips press into my hair just before sleep took me over.

Needless to say, my dreams were much happier this time around.


	5. The Newt Master and Mr Vagina

**~~Rewritten~~**

**Here it is. Chapter five. I really don't mean to have so much time between chapters. I have litterally no homework this year, so far. (3 cheers for easy senior years-that totally rhymes by the way) so I have no real excuse. I just suck sometimes.**

**I'm trying to think what other parts of this story would make good outtakes. Any suggestions?**

**I really like writing the outtakes :)**

**I'm kind of dissapointed in the slowing number of reviews this is getting. I'm loving the reviews/favorites/alerts I'm getting though. They really do make me feel good.**

**Disclaimer: I am Allie, not Stephanie. I own no recognizale material. No matter how much I wish I did.**

* * *

The rest of spring break was fairly uneventful. I had hung out with Alice and Rose a few times, but didn't see much of the guys.

Charlie dragged me fishing on Saturday. I almost fell off the boat. Four times. There's a reason I don't usually go.

Before I knew it, it was Monday morning, and I was getting ready for my first day back in the Forks school system.

I sighed as I rolled out of bed and dragged my feet to the bathroom. I took my time in the shower, and dried my hair before pulling it into a sloppy ponytail.

It was too early to care.

I put on a plain v-necked purple shirt that made my boobs look amazing and some ripped jeans. I opened my bedroom door to leave, but instead found Alice waiting to maul me.

I screamed, not expecting her and honestly wondering how the hell she got in the house.

"Morning, Bells." she grinned. I walked past her and grunted. I don't do mornings.

She pulled me back in the room and fixed my hair, straightening it. Oh well.

I wasn't actually as grumpy as usual. I wanted to be miserable today, so I decided to try to be-makes no sense, I know-but I couldn't bring myself to be completely down.

It was still morning though. Nobody expected rainbows shooting from my ass before noon.

Alice followed me out to her car, and we managed some small talk on the way to school. She parked two spaces away from Emmett's big ass mother fuckin' jeep. No exaggeration, thing is HUGE.

"Oh god, Alice. It's the Newt. I've been spotted. Did you see the way his face just lit up? Oh god I'm fucked." I frowned.

Mike Newton. The Newt machine. The Newt Master. The Newt. Mostly named after half amphibious animals because he's kind of sweaty. The Newt master, as we have come to call him-our own less attractive version of the Goblin King, Jerath, from "The Labyrinth"-has hit on me every time we've seen each other since we were eleven. No joke. I never even gave him anything but 1-3 word answers, but to the Newt Master that must be a sign of interest. I was always repulsed by him.

Next thing I knew, Emmett was dragging my tired ass from the passenger seat of Alice's Porsche.

"Emmett, what the fuck? It's too early for this shit!" I complained as he threw me over his shoulder and started walking.

"No! We need to save you from the Newt Master. We can smuggle you by like this!" he said, completely serious.

"Emmett, your plan would work better if you weren't drawing so much attention to us." Edward pointed out. When did he get here? Oh well, I'm just glad he's here.

"That and I'd rather not be smuggled. I've perfected the plan to keep him away!" I whisper-yelled so nobody would hear. "Now, put me down damn it!" I squealed, as he sighed and plopped me on my feet.

"What is this plan you have, that's so much better than smuggling.?" Emmett asked.

In response I walked over to Edward and grabbed his hand, and started walking. I wasn't oblivious to the electric feeling I got through my entire body when we touched.

"Hello there, fake boyfriend" I winked at him, and he smiled when he caught on. He let go of my hand and wrapped a whole arm around my waist.

I smiled, but looked up at him curiously.

"If we're faking this, we might as well do it thoroughly." I smiled that heart stopping crooked grin. Damn him and his beautiful face.

I looked in Mike's direction, and he looked like a kindergartener that was just told Santa, the Easter bunny, AND the tooth fairy doesn't actually exist. I felt bad until I remembered why we had to do this. So I smiled and waved, like the bitch that I am.

I expected Edward to let go as soon as we were in the school and out of Mike's sight, but he didn't. He kept it up until we had walked into the office, for me to get my schedule.

Maybe he didn't want to let go as much as I didn't want him to let go. Not likely, but a girl can dream.

I told the secretary, Mrs. Cope, I think her name was who I was and she went shuffling through papers to find my schedule. She held it out for me to take, while looking with her eyes for a map, I'm guessing. Edward got it first. How is it fair that he gets to know my schedule before I did?

"You have first with Jasper. Then second with Alice and third with Rose. Fourth you got Emmett, in gym by the way, good luck with that. Then all of us fifth for lunch, then six and seven with me." he grinned.

"Oh. That was easy. Can I see which classes those are now?" I joked grabbing the paper from him.

"Uh, that isn't the same Varner for English, is it?" I was shocked to say the least.

"The one and only." He grinned. "Again, good luck."

I whimpered as he grabbed my hand and led me to my first class. English. With Varner. Who hated me. He hated me since the 6th grade, when I may or may not have let it slip that "English class is for losers that think reading is fun and cool," while I was in his class. Little did I know I would grow to be one of those losers that thought reading was fun and cool.

"I'm so fucked." I mumbled as we reached the classroom, and he let go of my hand.

"Bye, boo." he winked at me, chuckling. I couldn't help but laugh back.

I spotted and empty seat, conveniently next to Jasper, and nearly ran for it, praying that Varner wouldn't move me.

"Hey there, cowboy." I smirked at him.

"Bells. I'm sorry. I heard you have a, uh, history with Varner. Good luck." he chuckled.

"There is nothing funny about this situation, Jazz hands." I tried to be serious, but I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing at the fact that I had just called him Jazz hands, of all things, he gave me the best 'WTF'look ever. As soon as Varner walked into the room. Oh fuck. Bad, Bella. Bad!

"My, my, Miss Swan it's good to see you." he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Fuck. My. Life.

"Hey there, Mr. V." I practically whimpered.

"See me after class." he frowned. What the fuck did I do already?

I must have looked confused because Jasper shrugged when I glanced in his direction.

The class drug on, and on, for what felt like hours. The bell made me jump, and Jasper chuckled and wished me luck as he walked out of the room.

"Uh, so Mr. V. You wanted to see me?" I swallowed loudly.

"You and I are not friends Bella." he scolded. "It's Mr. Varner. None of this 'Mr. V' nonsense."

Great. It's going to be one of _those_ years with him.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I couldn't disagree more with what I may have let slip in your 6th grade class. I read more than a librarian these days, and think it's cool and fun. I think there's something to say about karma in this whole situation." I smiled, hopefully.

"I don't care how you are. Just know that you need to actually work in my class to pass. It's _not_ 6th grade anymore." he said handing me a reading list. I glanced at it. I've read them all. He didn't need to know that, though.

"I get that. I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am. Is that all you needed? I do have another class to attend, and seeing as how you hate me, I doubt you'd be willing to write me a late pass."

"You're free to go." he said, bitterly.

Wow. Who pissed in his cheerios today? I think he just earned himself the nickname of "Mr. Vagina". Forget Varner. Vagina all the way. No insult intended to my own body parts though…

I made my way to art, just before the bell rang, and Alice's face lit up. She was so going to show me up in this class. I grinned at the still open seat next to her.

"What did you have first?" she asked excitedly, as I took the seat.

"Miss Swan, come here please." the art teacher called to me before I could answer her.

"One second." I got up and walked to the teacher, nearly tripping 3 times. Go Bella go!

"Isabella." she began.

"Oh, just Bella, please." I asked and she nodded.

Mrs. Miller, as I learned her name was, explained to me how her class worked. I had to admit it was a little unconventional, but I was okay with that. She went through this whole speech about how I should do what I like to do to allow myself to enjoy the class and be creative as much as possible.

She was a little out there. I loved her.

"Alice. I have first period English, same class as Jasper." I said, and she stopped moving, and looked mortified.

"With Varner?!" she squeaked.

"Yes, with Vagina, his new nickname by the way. He held me after class to point out some bull about how we aren't friends, and this isn't the 6th grade anymore, and I have to really work my ass off in his class if I want to pass. So I just kind of walked out, asking if I could go because since he hates me, he'd never write me a late pass." I smiled triumphantly.

"What a dick."

"I know, right?"

"Bella Swan." I cringed. I knew that nasally, annoying voice anywhere. Jessica Stanley and probably her slut brigade.

"Jess, love. How are you?" I said in my fake voice.

"Bella. Stay away from Edward." she said in a tone that I guess was supposed to be threatening. I laughed in her face.

"How am I supposed to do that, while sleeping at his house every other weekend?" I fake whined, turning to wink at Alice. This bitch was _not_ ruining my day. "I mean if you think he'd ever want gonorrhea then by all means, go for him. I don't think he's into that kind of thing though." I said with an insincere pout. Everyone around us giggled a little bit. Even this kid, who I recognized as Eric Yorkie, that was dressed all emo. I briefly wondered what happened to him.

"That was once. You said you wouldn't tell anyone." Jess looked mortified. Her little skank brigade of Lauren Mallory and Tanya, whose last name I could never remember,

looked to be trying hard to conceal their laughter. They weren't doing a very good job.

Just then the bell rang, and I waved at Jess as I brushed past her.

"Have I recently told you how much I love you, Bells?" Alice laughed catching up with me.

"It's always good to hear, I love you too, by the way."

The rest of the morning was mostly uneventful.

Rose was mildly impressed with what I said to Jess, and Emmett almost ran me over playing basketball in gym class.

When I finally made it out of the locker room, I noticed Edward waiting for me.

"Hello FG." he smiled. "Did you know that you're pregnant with my child, and I got AIDS from you?" he chuckled.

"Did Jess start already, FB?" I laughed.

"Yeah, I heard from Alice you embarrassed her pretty good. For some reason, being the idiot that she is, no doubt, she came right to me and said she was sorry that I was attached to you forever because of the baby. I played along for about 30 seconds. I got all scared looking and said 'What? She's pregnant? I'm going to be a daddy?' and I even almost teared up a little bit. I'm telling you, it was an Oscar winning performance. Then I set her straight though, once she looked sufficiently mortified."

I almost cried. I hadn't laughed like this in months. I really missed Edward. Once I regained control over my body, I remembered I should be asking why he's here.

"Oh yeah, FB, why are you here?"

"Well, what kind of shitty FB would I be if I made you walk into the cafeteria alone? It would totally ruin the façade." he said like it was the most logical thing in the world. He wrapped his arm around my waist again and led us towards the cafeteria.

I could get used to this. Maybe this would convince him that it would be great to not fake it.


	6. Genghis Khan, The River

**~~Rewritten~~**

**Here we go. Chapter six. I think you guys will like this one :)**

**May be the next outtake? Tell me if you want it ;)**

**So ANYWAY, enjoy :)**

**_Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, or Tom Jones, or who ever wrote Mars Attacks. I am, however, Allie. Therefore, I own no recognizable material._**

* * *

We got some interesting looks walking into the cafeteria all wrapped around each other the way we were. They ranged from angry, on the Newt Master and 99% of the girls in the room, to envy, to amusement, to surprise. Edward and I both started laughing as we took in the scene, walking to the line to get our food.

"We could probably have a lot of fun with this, Balls." Edward joked.

"Maybe we can actually make The Newt Master's head explode. Like _Mars Attacks_, only without the help of a Tom Jones song." I giggled, looking up at Edward. He had a new look on his face. Was that longing? For what? Did he really hate Mike more than I thought?

"I haven't seen that movie since you made me watch it when we were 8. I remember being terrified of it." he smiled.

"Wimp." I joked.

We talked some more about useless crap until the rest of our table joined us.

"So, Bella. How's the baby?" Alice joked when she reached the table, sitting in the seat between Jasper and I.

"Oh, well I have my doctor's appointment at 3 so I'll let you know after." I played along.

Everyone just chuckled and either rolled their eyes or shook their heads.

I felt Edwards arm wrap around my waist as he leaned closer to me.

"Mike's watching, let me feed you." he whispered in my ear, and then winked as he pulled back.

I smiled and nodded as he picked up a French fry and held it to my lips. With a sly grin, I slowly snaked my tongue out of my mouth and used it to pull the fry into my mouth. The looks on his and Mike's face were both priceless. I win.

Edward quickly shook it off. Mike, however, was gaping, and Jessica Stanley was desperately trying to get his attention. I noticed she followed his gaze to see what was so distracting. I waved to her with a big sarcastic smile, and Edward unexpectedly kissed my cheek. I was stunned for a moment, before I just turned and smiled to him, no doubt pissing both of them off even more. Our entire table looked on with seriously amused expressions, and half the cafeteria glared until the bell rang.

"I'm not going to lie, but the looks we're getting from Mike and Jess are priceless. This is really fun." I stated as Edward lead us, hand-in-hand, to history.

"Yeah, it is." he agreed, but didn't really sound like he meant it. I'd have to ask him about it later.

History passed slow, and was uneventful. With the exception of Jess being in the class. She asked the stupidest questions. She thought Genghis Khan was a RIVER! How dumb do they get? I actually laughed out loud. Mr. teacher man didn't seem too happy about that.

No such thing as a dumb questions my ass Mr. teacher man. I can't remember his name…

When we finally got to Biology, our last class of the day, was when the real fun began. Edward informed me that the only open seat in the class was next to him, so we'd be lab partners. The Newt Master is in the class.

"Bella!" TNM exclaimed when he saw me. Edward grabbed my hand and tried not to laugh.

"Heeeeyyyy Mike…" I drug out the "hey" for like 5 seconds longer than necessary.

"So you're back! That's so awesome. We should hang out some time, you know, catch up?" he babbled excitedly, Jessica style, and Edward frowned, tightening his grip on my hand a little.

For the love of god. How much will it take for him to leave me the hell alone?

"I don't think so Mike." I mumbled. Trying to keep from blowing up at him.

The bell rang, saving me for the time being, and class started. I pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote to Edward.

_Christ. TNM is even worse than when I didn't live here. I don't think I'll be able to hold back from flipping out next time he tries to ask me out… how stupid can he be? I'm sitting here holding your hand and he just thinks 'oh, she's totally into me. I should ask her out. Maybe fate actually likes me today and she'll say yes.' Well guess what Mike. Today is __**not**__ your day._

He chuckled quietly and wrote back.

_You're adorable when you're all flustered, FG. Give poor Mike a break, though. Unrequited love sucks. Just because he's a total tool doesn't change the fact that he has feelings._

I looked at the paper in shock. He hates Mike more than I do. Why would he stick up for that?

_You know, FB, you hate Mike more than I do. Why would you stick up for him? He's a slimy little toad._

I looked on with a frown. Then something hit me. Edward knows what unrequited love feels like? _What!?_ Who the hell is he in love with? The sudden ache in my chest was overwhelming. I glanced at Edward, he was writing back looking intently at the paper. It hurt looking at him. Why though? I knew I liked him, but if it was just like, it wouldn't hurt so badly.

Holy fuck.

I love Edward.

I snapped out of my epiphany when he passed the paper back to me.

_Oh, I still hate him, but I feel bad for him because I know how it feels. It feels like your heart gets ripped out of your chest, and then stomped on right in front of your face. It's not pleasant you know._

I frowned when I read it. I wrote one word back.

_Who?_

_What do you mean who?_

_Who is she?_

I felt like I might cry. I also noticed this teacher happened to be extremely unobservant.

_Can we wait until later to talk about this?_

I frowned and nodded at him.

I planned to more or less attack him as soon as that bell rang.

As soon as it did, he was gone before I could open my mouth.

"Did you guys get in a fight?" I heard Mike behind me. I jumped and turned.

"Oh, uh, yeah." I frowned. I seemed to be doing a lot of that in the last hour…

"If you need someone to talk to, you can come to me." he suggested. He just doesn't get it. But if Edward can be in love with someone else, maybe I could make myself do it too… I instantly felt bad for Mike. He really is a sweet guy.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all." he grinned, probably happy that I hadn't turned him down for once. "Come on, we'll go get coffee or something."

"Actually, I just kind of want to go home right now. Could you drive me?"

"Of course."

The whole way to my house, I invented a stupid fight to complain about. I came up with weather the New York Islanders, or the New York Rangers were better. He understood because that is one intense rivalry. I love hockey. They have the best action…

Anyway, Mike and I agreed on the Rangers being better. Yeah. Take that Edward, you fake islanders fan.

When he finally pulled in my driveway, after taking the roundabout way, I thanked him for the ride and got out of the car.

I walked in the door and went right to my room and cried for a little. This sucks.

Once I looked presentable again, I texted Edward. I wondered if he'd answer.

_I'm lonely._

Yeah, Bella. Way to make yourself seem pathetic.

I watched my phone until it went off. It took about five minutes and twenty-two seconds. Not that I was counting or anything.

_I'm sorry?_

Really. What a shitty I-wish-we-weren't-faking-it FB. I just sent a sad face. I couldn't help but wonder if he was simply avoiding me, or if he was actually mad. Did he not want me to know who it was?

I needed Alice.

_Is Dickwad mad at me?_

I sat on my bed with my homework sprawled out in front of me, waiting for an answer. I tried to work as I waited, but I couldn't concentrate. She took twenty minutes to answer me. Very un-Alice.

_He said no. Why? What happened?_

She must be with Jasper. She'd normally call and start yelling at me for asking questions like that. I sighed and responded.

_He's been avoiding me since Biology. I texted him but he only answered me once and it was a sarcastic answer._

Fuck my homework. It's not getting done today.

I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring, wondering how long it had been since I sent the text to Alice. It was probably her.

I slowly got off my bed, well tried to-I rolled off completely on accident- and made my way to the door and opened it.

I expected to see Alice, but instead I was met with the nervous, beautiful green eyes of Edward. Nervous? Why would he be nervous? It's only me here.

"Uh, hi?" he said. That's it?

"What are you doing here?" I asked, stepping aside so he could come in.

"I'm not mad at you." he said with a frown as he stepped inside and closed the door.

"Clearly." I mumbled, but decided to get right to it. "So, are you going to tell me who it is now?"

"Why do you care so much?" he asked, awkwardly standing in the entryway of my house. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room.

"Because, you're one of my best friends, cunt burger. If I didn't care, you should be worried. Now I'm curious. Tell me." I grinned pushing him onto the couch and plopping next to him.

He was quiet for a few minutes and I just looked at him, trying to resist the urge to play with his hair. I wonder if it's as soft as it looks. No Bella! Must resist! Don't give in!

"You really want to know?" Edward said, taking a deep breath, and interrupting my internal scoldish pep talk.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." I wondered if maybe I didn't. How upset would I be? How much more will it hurt than it already does?

He grabbed my hand, and I squeezed it, urging him to continue.

"Well, she's beautiful." he started. Well duh. A god-like creature like you has to be with someone beautiful. It's the only way it would make sense. I wanted to say that out loud, but just nodded instead.

"She's funny, too. She doesn't take shit from anyone, and she's more confident than 90% of guys. She's always just her. She puts herself out there and I think that's what draws people to her. I love her eyes, and her smile, and the way her nose wrinkles up as she laughs. Everything about her is amazing. She's absolutely perfect in my eyes and I don't know what I'd do without her." He said looking directly in my eyes in a way that made me a little self-conscious. I saw something new there but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I kept an emotionless mask, so he wouldn't know that this was killing me inside. I couldn't do that to him.

"Does she have a name?" I asked.

"Yeah." he said simply.

"Well?" I asked when he didn't continue.

He looked down at our hands for a second, then back up to me. Whatever I saw there before, was there ten times stronger now. What was it?

He smiled a little nervous smile and said, "I love you, Bella."


	7. Impending Sex Talk of Doom?

**~~Rewritten~~**

**_Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, nor am I the creator of anything recognizable in this entire story. I am, however, the creator of this specific story. That has to count for something, right?_**

* * *

Holy FUCK.

Edward Cullen loves me, too.

I noticed my eyes had started to tear up.

I was on cloud nine right now.

Why is Edward looking at me expectantly? Oh. Maybe he's waiting for me to say something.

But why was he looking at me like I'm about to run away? Okay, Bella. Get talking. Now.

"I-" I started, and then stopped. Damn it Bella. Use your words!

I opened my mouth again to try and talk, but my mouth wouldn't work. I think I broke my vocal chords.

Edward's face was dropping a little bit more every second. No. I have to say something.

"Edward," I whispered, "I love you, too"

His face immediately lit up, and he grinned bigger than I had ever seen.

"Really?" he whispered, using his thumb to wipe away the tear that was rolling down my cheek.

"No, I just like getting your hopes up." I laughed sarcastically, playfully smacking his arm. He shook his head.

"I knew it." he said still grinning, while he pulled me into his lap. He nuzzled his face into my neck and started placing small, chaste kisses on it, whispering "I love you" between every one as I giggled.

I shifted myself so I was straddling his legs, facing him. I ran my hands through his hair. It was as soft as it looks. I pulled him back so I could look at him.

"Kiss me." I pretty much ordered.

He smiled and slowly leaned in, hesitating about an inch from my lips. I leaned in the rest of the way until our lips touched. I gently sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and nibbled lightly as he did the same to my top lip.

You know that thing people say about seeing fireworks? Well when it's right, not only can you see them, but it felt like it was the fourth of July in my stomach.

I felt Edwards tongue drag across my lip, asking for entrance. I was about to give it to him when…

"It's about time." Charlie interrupted. I had no idea it was so late. I hadn't even heard him come in, resulting in me jumping and falling off of Edward. "Now, don't get me wrong, you two belong together and what not, but I'd rather not come home to find you guys in compromising positions, Bells."

I felt the deep blush color my cheeks.

I was mortified.

"Well, I could give you guys the sex talk right now, which I'm sure Renee never got to, like I should." he started. I looked at him so fast that I was sure I got whiplash from, with eyes wider than a baby deer's. "Or you guys can just give me the pleasure of telling Carlisle and Esme. I hope you guys pick the second because there's a game coming on in about 4 minutes that I don't want to miss kick off too." Charlie said. Oh thank god for options.

I grabbed Edward's hand and ran.

"Option two!" I yelled over my shoulder, running for the door dragging a laughing Edward with me.

"Oh for the love of god stop laughing and drive!" I said once we were both in his car safely. He was wiping tears away from his face.

"But- so f-funny." he managed to gasp out in between fits of laughter.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, that was so not funny. That was mortifying." I frowned, feeling my eyes water a little bit. He started to calm down. The power of the full name and fake tears. I smiled at myself in my mind. Is that weird?

"Bells, it's not that big of a deal. Don't cry, love." he said backing out of the driveway, then shifting into gear before holding my hand over the center console.

He pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it.

"I love you." he smiled.

"I love you, too." I smiled back. "So, where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

"But I hate surprises." I gave him my best pout.

"Oh, no way. You'll like this one; I'm not ruining it for you. The pout is powerless against me. You're better at that than Alice, by the way."

"Yeah, I know. But if I'm really better, then why won't it work?"

"Because, I know all your tricks." he winked at me.

"Bullshit." I mumbled low enough that he couldn't hear. "How much further, anyway?"

"You're really impatient sometimes." Edward joked. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly, causing him to laugh.

"Don't judge me." I giggled. It's true, though. Patience is a virtue that I do not possess.

My phone beeped telling me I had a text from Alice.

_I told you so! Pixie dust is magical, Bells. Carlisle and Esme just told all of us. WHY WASN'T I FIRST TO KNOW?! You're welcome, by the way._

Oh crap. She's mad.

"Cunt burger. What did Alice do to make you come to my house?" I giggled, and he looked scared.

"Well, she spent almost twenty minutes beating me with random articles of clothing to get the truth out of me, then more or less pushed me out of the door saying 'don't come back until you tell her'. That girl is psycho…" he laughed. "Why? What did she say?"

"She said 'I told you so.' and she's pissed that she found out from your parents instead of me, and you're welcome." I laughed.

"Why did I get stuck with her as an evil twin? I must have been a shitty person in a past life…"

"Don't think I won't tell her that." I joked.

The difference between the two is comical when you think about it though. They're fraternal twins. Edward is around 6'1" where Alice is only 4'11". He has bronze hair and bright green eyes, and she has jet black hair and ice blue eyes. He's the second calmest in the group, only after Jasper, and she seems like she's on speed 99.9% of the time. And that extra .1% is when she's asleep.

I still love them both, though.

Then my phone was ringing, pulling my away from my internal comparisons. I didn't even look at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells." Charlie's voice traveled to my ear.

"Hi, dad." I frowned at Edward, and he chuckled lightly, as he pulled up to where I'm guessing we're going, but it was just a dead end surrounded by trees.

"Listen, you ran out of the house so fast earlier that I didn't get a chance to tell you I don't want you out too late. You have school in the morning."

"How late is too late?" I asked, hoping that it wouldn't be too soon. It was already 6:45.

"I'm thinking eight-thirty." Damn.

"Okay." I sighed, causing Edward to give me a questioning look.

"Oh, and when you get home, we need to talk." and with that, he hung up.

"No!" I whined dropping my phone into my lap. "I thought I was free."

"What are you talking about?"

"Charlie said 'we need to talk'. Do you know what that means?" I said, mortified. He's going to try and give me a sex talk. Uh-oh.

"He wouldn't." Edward laughed.

"Oh, but he would. He'll never believe me if I say it was the only thing Renee did right." I pouted. "Oh yeah, and he wants me home by eight-thirty."

"Eight-thirty? There's not enough time for this today then. How about my house?" he suggested and I nodded.

He put the car into gear and headed towards his house.

My head started working full throttle to find a way out of the most mortifying thing I'll ever experience. I thought of everything. Faking sick, saying they did it in school, an old friends parent told me. Wait. That was it! Esme!

We had just pulled into the Cullen's driveway when I figured it out.

"You know, I get worried when you look really deep in thought for a while and your face suddenly lights up like a firework. Care to share?"

"I think I figured out a way around the talk." I grinned.

"Okay, now I'm really concerned." He chuckled.

"It's nothing dramatic, I promise. I just need your mother…"

"My mom? Why?" he looked seriously confused.

"Because! I just have to convince her to tell Charlie that SHE gave me the talk. She loves me enough to do it. And even if she feels like she actually does have to do it for her to tell him that, it'll be less mortifying from her than him."

"You're ridiculous." he laughed shaking his head, then getting out of the car finally, and rushing around to my side to open my door before I could. Always the gentleman.

"Did you just call me ridiculous? You are the king of ridiculosity." I joked. "And you're also living proof that chivalry is not dead."

"Is ridiculosity even a word?"

"In my world or everyone else's?" I grinned as he helped me out of the Volvo.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" I heard Alice squeal from the porch. I jumped and hid behind Edward, who laughed at me.

"Yes, Alice?" I poked my head out a little from behind his arm.

"WHY didn't you answer my text? I expected Edward not to tell me right away, but you? Why?" she pulled out her heartbreaking pout that has no effect on me.

"Because I was busy running away from the impending sex talk of doom that's waiting for me at home, and letting Charlie break the news was a way to delay it. I'm not even kidding." I stated, slowly making my way out from behind Edward, who was almost doubled over in laughter anyway. Alice started laughing too.

"What!?" she managed to laugh out.

"That reminds me, I need to find your mother," I just finished saying it as Esme walked out the front door to figure out what all the noise was. "Or she'll find me. Esme! I need you!" I ran up and hugged her. Hugs always get her all soft.

"Hello Bella, dear. Why do you need me?" she chuckled hugging me back for a moment before pulling back to look at my, no doubt, mortified face.

"I need you to save me from the impending sex talk of doom. Charlie would never believe me if I told him that Renee did it, but he'd believe me if I said you did, so maybe if you want to beat yourself out for the title of super-mom of the year you'll tell him you got it covered." I crossed my fingers. She looked thoughtful.

"Well, that does sound like an embarrassing experience for both of you…"

"I know the basics. I've watched enough TV to get it. Please Esme?" I pulled out my pout. Everyone, except apparently Edward, is powerless against it.

"Oh, alright." she caved. I almost tackled her.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I squealed, Alice style, and everyone laughed at me.

"Hey! There is absolutely nothing funny about Charlie attempting a sex talk." I shuddered. Of course Carlisle chose that moment to walk outside and see what we're doing.

"Sometimes, I walk in at the most awkward moments…" he mumbled, then just turned around and went back inside, causing us all to laugh that much harder.

Finally we made our way into the house. It was already around seven-fifteen. Alice decided to steal me.

"No. He's going to steal you from me every chance he gets. For now, you're mine." she scolded when I suggested we go find Edward.

So here I sat, getting my hair straightened by Alice. Something I'm more than capable of doing myself…

"Alice. This is boring." I frowned. It was already 7:45. I wanted to see Edward for more than the ten minute car ride to my house.

"Well, I just finished. You can go find your boy toy now." she winked.

"If I don't see you before I leave, goodbye." I smiled and hugged her. She laughed as I skipped out of her room to the door across the hall. Edward's room.

The door opened before I even knocked.

"Hello." I said to Jasper. That's a surprise.

"Well, hello to you, too. And goodbye. I guess we're trading off now." he winked at me. I moved aside to let him pass.

"Bye, Jazz hands." I smiled, and made my way into Edward's room. He was lying on his big comfy bed that I'd been in so many times before. He didn't hear me come in.

I crawled into the bed and he jumped when I curled into his side.

"Oh, hi." he blushed a little. "I didn't hear you come in."

"It's okay. A lot of people don't. I move like a ninja these days." I winked, adjusting myself so I was lying sideways in the bed, using his abs as a pillow. He ran his fingers through my freshly straightened hair.

"It took half an hour for her to do something that takes you fifteen minutes?" he asked.

"Duh, it's Alice." I smiled. "She refuses half-ass things like I do."

We spent a few minutes in a comfortable silence. He ran his fingers through my hair the whole time. I almost fell asleep when he finally broke it.

"We need to get you home." he frowned.

"But I'm so comfy." I mumbled, half asleep. I'm sure it came out at a jumbled group of groans, but it made sense in my mind.

"You need to get up. You have a scheduled sex talk to attend." he joked. I buried my face in his shirt and curled up in a ball.

"No!" I nearly screamed. I'm sure that came out clear. He jumped a little.

I heard him sigh, and then felt him shift under me.

"What are yo-" I was cut off by his fingers tickling my sides.

I giggled and squealed and bounced around like a fish out of water until tears were streaming down my face.

"E-dward. T'op it." I gasped out, almost falling off the bed.

He wrapped an arm around my waist to catch me and hovered over me once I was on my back. He supported just enough weight on his arms that I could feel him pressed against me, but it felt like he weighed nothing. It felt amazing.

Of course, he's good at this too.

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine in a tender kiss. It makes my top two kisses, easily. The first is from earlier today.

Then I felt him frown against my mouth just before he pulled away.

"We're late." he said looking at the clock.

I craned my neck the best I could to see it. Eight thirty-five.

"Oops." I frowned as he got off me and pulled me off the bed, too.

I pulled out my phone and started dialing the house.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked.

"Calling Charlie to tell him I fell asleep." I winked.

"Oh. Good plan."

I hit send and Charlie answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dad. I know I'm late, but I fell asleep watching a movie with Alice and Edward. You know how hard it is to get me up. Apparently they were trying for like twenty minutes before Alice gave up and pushed me off the couch completely." Yeah, say Alice first. He'll feel better that way. I encouraged myself.

"Oh, Bella. Okay, thanks for calling. Are you on your way home now?"

"Yeah, we just walked out the door. I'll see you when I get home." I frowned. I really hope he doesn't still plan to give me the talk anyway.

"Alright. Bye Bells." he hung up and Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"You just lied so smoothly," he started then opened the passenger door and helped me in, "that I would have believed you, had I not been with you the entire time."

"Eh. It's easy to tell when I'm lying. My eyes get all shifty. I can only lie believably over the phone." I giggled. He closed my door and made his way to the driver's seat and started the car.

"Let's get you home."

"I really hope Esme already talked to him." I pouted.

"For the sake of your sanity, I hope so too." Edward joked.


	8. Sex Talk is a Dirty Word

**~~Rewritten~~**

**_Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, I am Allie. Therefore I do not own any of the lovely characters you're reading about, I just put them in the situations you're reading._**

* * *

I'm never leaving my room while Charlie is home again.

I lay in my bed thinking about what had just transpired.

"_Wish me luck." I said to Edward as he pulled into my driveway._

_He leaned over the center console to kiss my lightly._

"_Good luck, love. I really hope the Esme plan worked. I don't need a traumatized girlfriend." he winked, trying to make me laugh. It worked, but it was a nervous sound._

_We said our final goodbyes and kissed one more time. I promised him I would text him to let him know what happened._

_I took a deep breath and made my way into the house. Charlie was in the living room and he muted the television when he heard me. Uh-oh. He was going to do this. There's no stopping a determined Charlie. I should have known better._

"_Bella, can you come here for a second?" he called to me. I was tempted to scream 'NEVER!' all dramatic movie style and run to my room, but instead I walked into the living room and sat on the couch, playing along._

"_What's up dad?"_

"_I think we need to have a talk. I know Edward is a good kid, and so are you, but he is a man. I know what's going through every 17 year old boys head when they're around a beautiful girl and what I'm trying to say is you need to be careful." he got that far before I interrupted._

"_Dad. You're trying to give me a sex talk, aren't you?" I felt myself turning 7,000 shades of red. I could have cried._

"_I'd prefer if you didn't call it that. It sounds like such a dirty word." he frowned. I would have laughed, had I not been beyond mortified. "Now, I know time-"_

"_Oh. My. God. Dad. Esme beat you to the punch. I swear." I interrupted again._

"_How do I know she didn't miss anything? It's my job as your father to make sure-"_

"_NO! I mean, she didn't miss anything. I get it. Be safe or don't do it at all and all that jazz." I begged._

_I could tell he was just as embarrassed as I was._

"_I'd prefer not do it at all." he mumbled so low that I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear it._

"_Can I PLEASE go to bed now?"_

"_I guess. Goodnight, Bells." he dismissed me._

"_Goodnight dad." I said running up the stairs._

And now here I am. Lying in bed. Two hours later. Just remembering that I never texted Edward.

I scrambled for my phone and quickly tapped out a message to him.

_He tried anyway. Sorry I didn't text sooner, I was busy being mortified and mildly traumatized _

I curled up in my bed and tried to block out the memory. I'm not sure how long I laid there for, but I jumped when I heard someone tap on my window.

What the fuck. It's 12:30 on a school night. Who is trying to deprive me of sleep now?

I looked to my window. I saw Edward smile at me from the other side. He is almost as crazy as Alice, but I smiled anyway.

I scrambled to open the window for him.

"What in the hell are you doing?!" I whispered at him as he climbed through the window.

"Well if you're traumatized I figured I should be here to try and make it better." he smiled sweetly.

What did I do to deserve someone like him to love me? I bet it was the time I helped that little old lady cross the street when I was 9...

Of course I had to make fun of him for it, though. It's just how we are.

"You're such a sap." I joked, and wrapped my arms around his waist. His arms automatically wrapped around my shoulders.

"So how bad was it? Did it live up to the title of 'Impending Sex Talk of Doom'?" he chuckled.

"Yes, yes it did." I said hiding my face in his shirt. "He said I'm not allowed to call it a sex talk because 'it sounds dirty'. I pretty much ran to my room when he was done and haven't left since."

Even I had to chuckle a little because it really was ridiculous, but I was still a little scared.

"Poor thing." Edward joked and kissed me gently.

"I'm sure your talk was worse, though. With Carlisle being a doctor and all."

"You have no idea. Alice had it easy. She got Esme. With me and Emmett, though. Carlisle got all technical and shit. It was gross." he shuddered at the memory.

"I'm so sorry." I full out laughed. Oops.

We both paused for a second and realized Charlie was no longer snoring. I pushed Edward into the closet, and dove on my bed with my phone, and kept laughing. I heard Charlie knock before he opened the door.

"Was somebody in here?"

"Sorry, dad. I was on the phone with Alice, and Edward said something about her shoes. She kind of jumped on him, and it sounded like she hit him before the phone hung up. It was really funny." I covered quickly. Still giggling. That's why he couldn't see my eyes being all shifty.

"Oh that poor boy. He should know better with Alice, though. Anyway, it's late, you should go to bed."

"Okay, I will. Goodnight, dad." I smiled.

With that he left the room, and Edward came out of the closet-literally, walking out of my closet, he's not gay, I swear.

"How do you think of these things?" he whispered, joining me on my bed.

"It's a talent. But I really do need to go to bed if I'm going to be any kind of useful tomorrow." I frowned.

"Okay, I'll pick you up tomorrow? That way you won't get attacked by Alice and you can wear whatever you want." he smiled.

"Ha, yeah right. You really think she's beyond sending me home to change?" I joked cuddling into his side.

"Good point." he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him. For somebody with as much hard muscle as he has, he's really fucking comfy. "So, I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yes you will." I said, tilting my head up towards him.

He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the nose. I felt my face involuntarily scrunch up.

"That face was adorable, love." he complimented, and I blushed, before he kissed me and we said our goodbyes.

I slept like a rock that night.

I slept so much like a rock that I must have slept right through my alarm because the next thing I knew, Edward was shaking me lightly.

"Balls, you need to get up." he sounded amused. He must have been trying for a while. Charlie must have already left. Uh-oh.

"What time is it?" I half mumbled and half groaned, still half asleep.

"It's almost nine. I've been trying to get you up for an hour and a half." he laughed.

Probably because I sat straight up, too fast. Head rush. Whoa.

"Fuck." I said, now wide awake.

"It's okay, love. I called Charlie and told him you weren't feeling well. I described all the symptoms of a 24 hour flu. You're off the hook." he grinned.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you." I instantly relaxed and leaned into his side.

"What would you do without me?" he said dramatically. "I love you too, by the way."

"I think I'd get in a lot of trouble for skipping school simply because of my inability to wake up." I grinned.

"You sleep like the dead. I actually thought you might have been. Well until you started talking in your sleep. It got to the point where for a while you would actually answer my questions." he smiled.

"Really? What did you ask, and what did I say?" I felt myself blush six shades of red. I hate being a sleep talker.

"Well. I asked what color the sky was." he started laughing.

"Why is that so funny?" I was confused.

"Apparently, the sky is purple, but only on Thursdays."

"Oh wow. I'm a genius in my sleep." I joked.

"That you are. You also said you love me. About 20 times." he said, tracing lazy patterns on the hand he was suddenly holding with a goofy smile on his face.

"You knew that already." I smiled at him.

He leaned in and kissed me again.

"It's still nice to hear."

I scooted myself closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed along his jaw, saying I love you in between each kiss. By the time I'd kissed everywhere except his mouth he noticed.

"I love you too, but is there a reason you're directly avoiding my mouth?" he frowned.

"Morning breath." I pouted. Then I just got up and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I heard him laugh behind me.

I made sure to meticulously brush my teeth, apparently taking so long that Edward felt the need to check on me and make sure I hadn't choked on my toothbrush. I simply rolled my eyes at him and wiped my mouth.

"So. What do you have planned for today, other than encouraging me to sleep like the dead and skip school?" I smiled at him playfully in the mirror.

"Well," he started, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, and resting his head on my shoulder, "I was planning on taking you to that surprise place I was going to take you yesterday."

"Okay. We should get going then, if I have to back in bed looking sick by the time Charlie gets home."


	9. Funeral Crumping

**~~Rewritten~~**

**This chapter is intense. There is rape. It's not exactly detailed, but it puts certain images in your head that might be hard to deal with. And NO Edward is not the rapist. He's not a dick :P**

**Anyway, this may be hard for some of you to read, but I promise I'll get back to the random goofiness asap.**

**_Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie, I am Allie. I own no characters, I just made them how they happen to be in this story for the hell of it._**

* * *

"Are we there yet?" I complained. We'd been walking through the woods for at least two hours.

"Didn't I just tell you we were?"

"That was, like, an hour ago, Edward. And my feet hurt." I complained some more.

"Actually it was about three minutes ago, we haven't even been _in_ the woods for an hour," he paused and turned to me. He swept me off my feet and began carrying me. "and as for your problem, other than lack of patience, is this better?" he continued, sticking his tongue out at me.

"If you drop me, I'll kill you… okay maybe I won't kill you, but I'll definitely hit you." I joked. "Now, how much farther?"

"Patience is a virtue, Bella, my love." he grinned.

"That may be true, but it's sure as hell one that I do not possess." I stated with a smile, earning myself a musical chuckle from deep in his chest.

"That's true." he agreed.

I cuddled myself closer to him and sighed contently.

"Maybe a little longer wouldn't kill me." I decided, just as Edward stepped into a clearing, putting me back on my feet, facing him, causing me to frown.

"I told you we were almost here." he smiled, wrapping his arms around my small waist and pulling me into his chest gently.

My arms found their way around his neck and I pulled myself up to kiss him lightly. When I pulled away he was looking back at me with a goofy grin on his face.

"Bella, look around."

I sighed, not really wanting to look away from his face, but when I finally did, I was shocked.

We were in a little meadow, somewhere in the mountains. It was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen. It was perfectly round, a very rare thing I'm sure. There were a few wildflowers beginning to bloom all around. It would look stunning when they were in full bloom. The growing season was just barely starting.

Then I noticed something else. There was sun. for the first time since I got here, there was sun.

"Oh my god, Edward," I began, turning to look at him, "It's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." I said in a way that made me believe him. He wiped a tear from my cheek that I wasn't even aware had fallen. I didn't even feel it start.

I smiled and kissed him again, still lightly.

I felt that little alarm going in the back of my mind. I didn't know why. This was Edward. I'd kissed him before. Was it because we're so much more alone than we'd ever been before?

I tried to push it away. I know Edward would, and could, never hurt me like that.

Damn it, Bella. Pull yourself together.

Apparently I couldn't pull myself together fast enough, because Edward seemed to notice my inner panic and hesitation.

Uh-oh. I was hoping to put this off for a long, long time.

"Bella, are you alright?"

"I, uh… I think there's something I should tell you about." I mumbled, looking at my feet.

"Why do I not like where this is headed?" he asked, gently taking hold of my hand and pulling me farther into the meadow, before sitting us in the middle.

"Because you won't like it when it gets there. Can I just ask two things, before I tell you, please?"

I had finally looked at his face and he looked very weary. He nodded anyway, though.

"One, do you promise you won't go all ape shit? At least not around me?" I asked, and he looked really concerned now.

"I promise to try."

"Okay, good enough. Now. Two, Please don't tell Charlie? I promise I'll tell him when I'm ready for him to know, but I don't want him to know, yet."

"Okay. Does this have to do with Renee?" he asked. I could tell he was trying to be careful. He didn't want me to hurt, I knew that. Getting this off my chest was just a step towards making the one thing that hurt the most go away.

"In a way." I said flatly.

I knew this was going to be hard. Edward was looking at me expectantly, and I tried to say it but the words wouldn't form. He noticed my struggle and his face softened.

"Take all the time you need, love. If you don't want to do this now, then you don't have to." he encouraged. Letting me know I had a choice.

I loved that about Edward. He always let me have the choice. Weather I wanted it or not.

I shook my head.

"No, I need to say it now. I can explain why after. Just give me a minute to put it all together. I haven't had to tell the story yet." I explained.

He nodded and then waited. He sat there, playing with my fingers for however long as I put the story together in my head.

After what I'm sure had to be at least twenty minutes I was ready to begin. Edward hadn't complained once. I swear the guy has endless patience.

I took a deep breath before I started to let it all out. Edward looked up at me, and I looked down.

I didn't want to see his reaction to any of this.

"Well, something nobody here knows about, not even my dad. Renee got married four years ago. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. The guy, my step dad, his name was Phil. He died from a drug overdose last year." I mentioned that last part looking up and smiling at Edward, which confused him.

The smile quickly faded off my face and I looked down again.

"Anyway, about six months after we moved down to Phoenix, Phil moved in. I guess him and Renee knew each other already and had been doing that long distance shit before she left my dad. I have no idea how they even met. But back to the point of all this. One night, Renee left me home alone with him."

I paused for a few moments preparing myself to mildly relive this memory I tried so hard to bury.

Edward squeezed my hand, urging me to continue.

"He was high off of something. I don't know what. It was either meth or heroine. He forced his way into my room, and backed me into the corner. He had hit me before so I knew he wouldn't hesitate to do it again. He hit harder than Renee did."

I felt Edward stiffen a little beside me. He knew exactly where this was going. I felt the tears build up in my eyes, but I had to keep going. I needed to say it, out loud.

"Once he knew I had no where to go, he started talking. He was saying how I'm prettier than my mom, and how he bet I could satisfy him better," I shuddered at the memory that was flashing trough my head in fast forward, "I tried to get away, but he was just so much stronger. When he started to… touch me, I screamed. I cried and I begged him not to do it. He just hit me and told me to shut up. The next thing I knew I was tied to my bed, and he was on top of me. It hurt so bad."

I felt the tears spill over and Edwards arm wrap around my waist, pulling me into his lap. He hadn't said anything. It was for one of two reasons. One, he didn't know what to say. Two, if he opened his mouth, he'd go ape shit, just like he promised to try not to do. So instead he rubbed small circles on my lower back with the hand that wasn't holding me in half a death grip to his chest, which I clung to willingly.

I breathed in his purely Edward scent and after a few minutes it calmed me down enough to keep talking.

"Turns out Renee was downstairs. She heard everything. She knew. Almost every day for three years. He did it, almost every day for three years. Then he'd go to Renee about how I wasn't good enough, then she'd come and bitch at me for it." I choked out a sarcastic laugh.

I risked a look up at Edward. He looked absolutely broken. He was looking past me, over my head. He couldn't even look at me. I felt awful for having to tell him, but it needed to be done.

"Edward?" I whispered.

He looked down at me, an a single tear rolled down his cheek. I wiped it away for him and pulled him back into a hug. His face fell to my shoulder, and he sobbed.

I hadn't seen Edward cry since we were 5 and he fell off his bike.

I did my best to sooth him, which honestly wasn't that good, but he already knows how bad I am with emotional people. He didn't try to say anything until he was completely calm. Neither did I.

"Why?" was all he said, looking at me with pained, pleading eyes.

I hated that it was my fault that look was there. Actually no. It's Phil's fault. I looked at him, asking what he meant by why, with my eyes.

"Why did you tell me first?" he whispered.

I knew it would be hard for him to hear. I knew it would be hard to tell. I knew why I had to tell him anyway.

"Because. I try my best to keep from letting this break me, and I've succeeded with that so far, but I can't guarantee that it'll never have any effect on me. I figured it'd be better to get it out in the open now, before we try and do something that makes me freak out because trying to explain something like that when you're already flipping out sounds much harder. Then I'd probably also forget to mention the fact that I _know_ you'd never even think about thinking of hurting me like that, and if I do ever freak out, you have to know it's not your fault." I explained, begging him with my eyes to understand.

"Wow. I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward said, sounding beyond sad. "You do know that right? I could never hurt you. If I ever make you uncomfortable _please_ tell me."

"Of course." I nodded into his chest as I curled into it. He pulled back though, and looked at me with the most intense expression I had ever seen him wear.

"I'll never let that happen to you again. As long as I'm around, nobody will touch you if you don't want them to. I'll keep you safe. Always." he promised.

"Thank you." I whispered.

Then I decided it was time to try to lighten the mood.

"You know, I danced at his funeral. Like full out crumping." I grinned. He chuckled.

Mission accomplished.

"I wish I could have seen that."

"Everyone got really pissed. His mom yelled at me, then I broke out into show tunes. Specifically "ding dong the witch is dead" but is sang it as "ding dong the bitch is dead" which really didn't sit well with many people. How long have we been here? I need to go fool Charlie."

"Right. Let's go. We have two hours." he sighed getting up, and helping me afterwards.

He led us towards the edge of the meadow. He seemed like I hadn't just told him what I did. Too bad I knew him better than that. He was hiding something.

"Are you alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he sighed.

"Liar. You always sigh when you lie," I stepped in front of him blocking his path, "What's wrong?"

He looked conflicted. He knew I'd dig it out of him eventually, but he _really_ didn't seem to want to tell me.

"Edward?" I whispered when guilt seemed to win out as the dominant emotion in his brilliant green eyes.

"It is my fault, Bella." he started, running his hands through his hair. "I should have-"

"No." I cut him off.

"What do you mean no?"

"It's _not_ your fault. It's nobody's fault but Phil's, and maybe his dealer's. And if I do freak out it's my own fault for not listening to myself when the first sign of doubt shows up. Don't even try to say you should have noticed. Would you ever have known if I didn't tell you and maybe never happened to freak out over it?"

"No." he whispered.

"Exactly, so please try not to let it get to you. I love you."

"I love you, too." he practically whimpered just before kissing me gently.

He took hold of my hand and led us back towards his Volvo.


	10. Let's get it on

**~~Rewritten~~**

****Major change** Since this chapter was originally so short, and the next chapter was meant to be a part of it anyway, I combined the two. That sets all the chapter numbers from this point on back one, so try not to get confused.**

**_Disclaimer: I still am not Stephanie, and I'm still Allie. No Twilight for me. The soup nazi from Seinfeld can't keep me from soup, though :)_**"Bella!"

* * *

"Emmett."

"_Bella!" _Emmett whined.

"Emmett!" I groaned.

This had been going on for about fifteen minutes, at the lunch table. He was trying to get the dirty details on mine and Edward's still nonexistent sex life. I was starting to get annoyed.

Not nearly as annoyed as Edward seemed to be, though. He was hitting his head on the table repeatedly.

Then Alice managed to stop laughing just long enough to save her brothers face from more abuse.

"Stop it, Edward. You'll mess up your pretty face and then you won't be happy." she joked.

He responded by just staring blankly. I couldn't deny that it was funny, but I was in no laughing mood.

I thought it couldn't get worse, until it did.

All the sudden Emmett was standing, at our table, which is located dead center of the cafeteria by the way, and he was singing Marvin Gaye's _Let's Get it on_.

Holy mother of god. Why is Rosalie _ever_ absent?! I demand it never happens again.

"Emmett, for the love of god, sit down and shut up before people start thinking we believe in open relationships and pseudo-incest!" I squealed out, without thinking. Louder than intended.

Then there was laughter. A lot of it. Apparently the entire cafeteria got quiet when Emmett started to sing. Everyone heard me. I felt the deep crimson blush flood my cheeks, but couldn't help but laugh too because the situation was downright hilarious. Only my friends would get me into this situation…

Charlie would no doubt know about it by the time I got home tonight.

"Oh my god." Jasper chuckled.

"What?" Edward asked.

"I think Newton just got that whole thing on video." He started cracking up.

_No!_

"On his phone?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I'll be right back, guys," I ginned. I was so getting that video.

I got up and walked over to the table that was filled with Mike Newton and all his dumb jock friends. His face lit up when I approached, and Ben Cheney, Angela's boyfriend and the only one who wasn't a total idiot, nodded a hello.

"Mike," I ginned, "I was informed you got Emmett singing on video. Can I see?"

He looked like he was about to melt into a puddle of goo by the time I finished my sentence.

"Of course."

With that he just handed me the phone. Oh, too easy. I could get the video for myself, and make sure nobody I don't want to ever see's it. I win.

I quickly sent it to myself and then deleted the message from his outbox so he wouldn't have my number, and then deleted the video from the phone in general.

I handed the phone back with a Cheshire grin and mumbled a too sweet thanks and I was on my way back to my table.

Edward didn't look too happy, no doubt because I had to be a little, very little, flirty with Mike to get what I wanted, but I could fix that. I sat down in silence and everyone looked at me.

"Crisis averted. No parental explanations will be necessary." I grinned.

"You didn't delete it off his phone, did you?" Emmett asked, looking really worried.

Oh yes. What's that saying? Oh yeah, payback is a _bitch_.

"Of course I did. How would I explain something like that to my dad? Just say 'oh yeah well he was trying to get me and Edward to tell him that we did the deed in some exotic place'? How well do you think he would take that?"

That really was a genuine concern, though. It had been about three weeks since I told Edward about Phil and he made me tell Charlie last week. To say he didn't take it well was an understatement. Hell, even understatement of the year.

We had to buy a new coffee table.

Anyway, just because Charlie couldn't see it, didn't mean that Rose couldn't.

She'd get a kick out of it, but I'm sure I could find a way to turn this around on him.

While everyone else fell into easy conversation, I sat there and formulated a plot.

It was halfway through Biology when I had my plan fully thought out. I finally rejoined the world and noticed a piece of paper with Edward's perfect script in front of me.

_Why do you have that scary deep in thought look again?_

I fought back the cackling laugh that threatened to explode from me, but couldn't hold back a small giggle.

_Payback for Emmett. I have the video on my phone, but deleted it completely off Mike's. I'm sending it to Rosalie, and I'm going to have her act pissed and say she heard it from little old ladies at the salon, and then she can fake more anger at him for not noticing the nonexistent change. He can see the video after he suffered sufficiently. You can see later._

I wrote with a huge grin on my face.

I grinned even wider when Edward let out a loud enough laugh to distract the teacher.

"Is something funny, Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner asked, trying to be stern.

"Not really." he said.

"I almost fell out of my chair." I volunteered, acting sheepish about it.

"Oh, well. Uh," he seemed to be at a loss for words. Very unlike him, "be more careful then Miss Swan."

With that the entire class lost it. Everyone was laughing. Even Mr. Banner.

"Why do I feel like today is just one huge trippy dream?" I asked Edward.

"I don't know," he chuckled, "Did you an Emmett share a bowl of funny for breakfast or something?"

"That was the corniest and least helpful thing to ever come out of your mouth, Edward Cullen. Except that time you puked on Thanksgiving. That was pretty corny and unhelpful." I couldn't help but chuckle.

Everybody was on something today.

Edward dropped me off at home after school and I went to work on my plan. Even though all I really needed to do was send Rose the video.

_Seriously? This is the kind of shit I miss when I stay home? Lol!_

I read the text from Rosalie and I quickly tapped out a response.

_Yes, seriously. He's out of control without you to slap him in the head. So I have a revenge plan, but I need you in on it. Will you help? _

Rose liked to have fun; I just had to hope she'd be willing to go along with it. She knows it'd be hilarious.

My phone beeped again. Charlie was staring at my smirk, knowing I was up to something, no doubt.

_Definitely. What do I need to do?_

Oh yes. This will be great.

"Bella, why do you look like the cat who stole the canary?" my dad inquired.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I responded, with the smirk still prominent, "And why do you use such old phrases. 'Cat who stole the canary'. Who says that anymore?"

"I do. Now do I even want to know what you're planning, or who you're plotting against… or why?"

"Well, Rose was out of school today, and Emmett got a little out of control, and no you don't get more details than that, so we're plotting some simple revenge."

"Don't make him cry again." Charlie warned, no doubt remembering the last time we plotted something against him.

I didn't know he had a phobia of frogs-because, really, who the hell does?-and we filled his entire bed with stuffed frogs, and he got so scared that he actually cried. Alice and Edward had known though. Of course we felt bad, but he locked my claustrophobic ass in a closet and I had a panic attack, so he deserved it.

"There will be no frogs involved this time, I promise." I chuckled.

"Okay, proceed then."

I had to laugh. Charlie really was the most laidback dad. Most parents would be scolding me right now, probably sprouting some shit about how 'ladies shouldn't act this way'. Instead Charlie encouraged it.

I turned my attention back to my phone, and answered Rose.

_So, what's going to happen, is you're going to say you heard a couple people talking about what happened while you were getting your hair done, because he thinks the video is completely gone, then you're going to act pissed about it, and then act even more pissed about him not noticing the change in your hair that never happened, and once he's suffered enough, we'll let him see the video. You still in? ;)_

"So, Big C, what do you want for dinner?" I asked, standing up from my spot on the couch. It was nearly six and we hadn't eaten yet.

"One, don't call me 'Big C'. And two, how about we just order a pizza?"

My phone beeped again.

_You are so ridiculous, lol. But I'm SO in!_

I grinned, and then turned my attention back to Charlie.

"Right, Chief. Pizza's good, but you can't stop me from calling you 'Big C' when you're not around."

"Whatever, Bells. And it's not Chief either." he said picking up the phone to order the pizza.

I rolled my eyes and made my way up to my room to put my hair up.

I almost screamed when I found Edward just kind of hanging out on my bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" I squeaked out.

"Just chilling."

Like it's so normal to just randomly hang out in my bed. I swear. Cullen is a synonym for crazy.

"Such a normal answer for such a freakishly weird situation. But really, not that I'm not always happy to see you, why are you here? If Charlie finds out he'll flip."

"Well then he won't find out." he grinned, shifting from lying down to kneeling on the bed in front of me so we were eye-level… for once.

I just sighed and shook my head before I leaned in to kiss him.

"You know had you just called and asked Charlie would have loved to have you over for dinner. He thinks you're God's gift to the world." I giggled.

It was true, though. Charlie loved Edward like one of his own. He'd watched Edward grow up more or less from conception because of his close relationship with Carlisle.

"I think he'll change his mind one day." Edward grinned.

"Why would he do that?"

"Because, one day we're probably going to have sex, and he's going to realize it and think to himself, 'That fucking Cullen boy is stealing my baby girl's innocence'. And don't try to deny it because you know it's true."

"No. As long as we pretend it doesn't happen until we're at least engaged or something he won't hate you too much. Plus, the innocence isn't there so much, in a way." I winked, leaning in and kissing him again.

"That's encouraging." he mumbled against my mouth.

"Go get your car, Dickwad. I'll tell Big C I invited you for dinner." I kissed him one last time.

"But I don't want to leave."

"Oh please. I know you park right around the corner. It'll take like a minute." I said, pushing him towards the window.

"Fine." he leaned in a kissed me before climbing out onto the trellis that runs down the side of the house next to my window.

He's so going to fall to his death doing that one day…

I made my way downstairs, and wandered into the living room to find Charlie, passed out on the couch with a baseball game on.

I don't see the appeal of baseball. It's nothing more than grown men hitting balls in unflattering pants.

I picked up the controller and switched the channel, instantly waking up Big C.

"Hey, I was watching that!" he complained, his voice thick with sleep.

"Actually, Big C, you were snoring. I invited Edward to eat with us, by the way. I hope that's okay."

"That's fine. And I definitely remember telling you not to call me that." he joked.

I had a feeling he secretly loved the nicknames I give him.

"Fine. I'll just call you chief instead then." I suggested as there was a knock on the door. I sent my dad to get it just in case it was the pizza.

I hated opening doors for strangers. It had always creeped me out.

Turns out it was just Edward.

He plopped himself next to me on the couch and stole a kiss before Charlie got back to the room. I guess the pizza came as Charlie answered the door.

"I missed you." he whispered to me.

"It was literally three minutes. I kind of missed you too, a little, though." I smiled.

He was about to kiss me again when we were rudely interrupted by a clearing throat.

"You know, I get that you two are going to act like a couple, and do couplish things, but can we not make a habit of me walking in on these things?"

"It was your choice to walk in here, chief." I smiled, but blushed.

He was right. He did need to stop walking in on us.

He just rolled his eyes and set the pizza on the shiny-well, not literally-new coffee table.

"Is it that hard to just call me dad?" he asked me. If he hadn't been smiling, I would have thought he was serious.

"You know it." I said grabbing a slice out of the box.

"Watching you two is like watching a bad sitcom." Edward pointed out

"Like your family is any better." I jokingly slapped his arm.

The majority of the night was filled with "bad sitcom jokes", according to Edward.

It wasn't until about 9:30, that I got a text from Alice.

_Ask Charlie if you can spend the night here. I miss your ass!_

I had a feeling that this was Alice's way of giving me the night with Edward.

"Hey, dad?"

"Uh-oh. You called me dad. What do you want?" he joked, causing me and Edward to let out quiet laughter.

"Alice wants me to sleep over her house tonight. I haven't really hung out with her since a couple days after I got home." I frowned, for effect.

He looked hesitant for a second, no doubt because of Edward. The same Edward that didn't look even a little surprised, and was also trying very hard to remain looking indifferent.

He was totally in on this.

"Well, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow, Bells." he dismissed us.

I hugged him before I went up to my room, followed closely by Edward-why my dad wasn't flipping out, I'll never know.

I packed a bag and we headed out, shouting our goodbye's to Charlie.

Tonight will, hopefully, be a lot of fun.


	11. Tickle Wars and a Piano

**~~Rewritten~~**

**_Disclaimer: I'm STILL not Stephanie Myer. I AM however a restricted senior who's stuck_****_ in school more than 3 hours longer than necessary everyday. GRR!!_**

* * *

I couldn't for the life of me remember what we were watching. I just knew it was a movie, and Edward was drawing shapeless designs on my lower back where my shirt had ridden up.

When the movie ended neither Edward or I made any effort to move. I don't know about him, but I was perfectly content were I was.

He was laying on his back across the large black leather couch in the Cullen's living room. I was sprawled out on top of him, my head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

I felt his lips press into my hair, and I sighed in contentment.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm just happy." I smiled turning my head to look up at his face.

"Good." he smiled back.

I looked behind him to the piano that was placed across the room. Edward's piano. It's been so long since I got to watch him play.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Will you play for me?" I asked nodding to the piano, "It's been so long."

"You're really asking me to move right now?" he joked. He loved playing for me and he knew I knew it.

"Yes, I am."

He sighed, for show, and tried to get up. When he failed to do so, I realized I was still on top of him, pinning him to the couch.

"If you want me to play, you need to move, love." he chuckled.

"Oh, right."

I tried, unsuccessfully, to get up. I really did. I couldn't do it, so I solved the problem by just rolling completely off the couch, onto the soft cream colored carpet. I landed flat on my back and I closed my eyes when it knocked the wind out of me a little. I opened them to Edward looking over the side of the couch, his eyes alight with concern.

"Are you alright?"

"This is like, the softest carpet in the world. Of course I'm okay. Now go and play!" I smiled up to him from my comfy floor spot.

He rolled his eyes at me before he got up. Instead of walking over to the piano like I expected him to, he scooped me up into his arms like I weighed as much as a pillow and carried me over there with him, setting me on the bench next to where he would sit.

The last time he played when I was around was easily two years ago. That time I had been stuck with someone else that was rather desperate to talk to me in that exact moment, so I didn't get to watch him like I used to. I'd forgotten how much I loved to watch. It was almost intimate, erotic even, the way his long, talented fingers gracefully floated across the keys.

It made me briefly wonder what his fingers could do to me.

Whoa.

Where did that come from? Was I even _ready_ for that? I didn't quite think I was.

I'd never hated Phil so much before now. I wanted so badly to be able to just give myself to Edward. I couldn't do it though. I was broken, possibly beyond repair. It was a miracle that he even wanted me, as damaged as I was.

My entire thought process stopped once Edward finally began to play. I watched mesmerized as his fingers ghosted across the instrument. The song sweet and beautiful. I'd never heard it before, so he must have written it. It sounded almost like a lullaby.

For the first time in probably 5 years, I tore my gaze away from his hypnotizing graceful hands, and looked at his face while he played.

He was gorgeous.

His perfect face was twisted into a mask of concentration. His eyes were slightly narrowed, his brow was furrowed, and his lips were slightly parted, even though it looked like he was biting his tongue. Even twisted as it was, his face was still flawless, and made my heart beat just a little faster.

The song eventually came to its slow, sweet end. It was my new favorite. Then again, every time he wrote a new song it became my favorite.

"That was beautiful." I whispered, not entirely sure if I was talking about the song or his face. Most likely both.

"Just like the girl that inspired it." he smiled, looking right into my eyes.

He looked very at peace, like he always did after playing.

"Who was she?" I asked cocking an eyebrow, telling him to play along, and he did.

"Well, she has this really dark brown hair," he started, running a hand through my locks, "and these deep, gorgeous brown eyes, and a cute little nose," he kissed my nose, "and the most perfect, kissable, pink, pouty lips I have ever seen." he finished with a chaste kiss on my lips.

Every time I got him going, I melted. I couldn't stop the smile from slowly spreading across my face. I'd never really seen myself as beautiful. Sure, I agree that I'm pretty, but beautiful is an entirely different thing. His words, and his actions, and the way he cared for me made me _feel_ beautiful, which is more than I ever could have asked for.

"I love you." I whispered, not able to get anymore volume in my voice.

"And I love you." he grinned at me, "you look tired. Let's go to bed."

As if it was my cue, I yawned.

"Yes, let's."

He took my hand a led me up the stairs, to his room.

Carlisle and Esme were in Seattle for the night, for some hospital benefit, Alice was spending the night with Jasper, at his place, and Emmett was at Rose's. We were alone, and free to sleep in the same bed.

He let me have the ensuite bathroom while he took the bedroom to change, knowing I'd be more comfortable that way. The little things he did for me never failed to warm my heart.

I took my time to ensure that I wouldn't walk out on him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, it was my reaction that worried me in the situation.

Once I'd lingered long enough to know he would be done changing, I opened the door. I laughed at the sight I was greeted with.

On his king size bed, he was sprawled out on his back, with his head hanging over the edge, looking at the bathroom door upside down, with a huge smile on his face. He was such a little kid sometimes, that I couldn't help but smile.

I noticed he had no shirt on. I took a moment to admire his perfect abs, and fight the urge to lick them, before continuing towards the bed. He didn't move, but a lazy grin spread across his face.

He seemed so happy tonight.

"Hello, love."

"You are such a little kid sometimes." I joked, poking his unprotected stomach. His muscles twitched, and he made a noise.

If I'm not mistaken, I had just made Edward Cullen _giggle_.

"Did you just giggle?" I laughed.

"Maybe…" he looked away from me, the smile fading from his face. From the look in his eyes, I could tell he wasn't actually mad. Embarrassed? Maybe, but not mad.

"It's okay," I comforted him; "I'll make sure I only call you the Pillsbury Dough Boy in private."

He sat up and looked turned around to look at me. He rolled his eyes, and then _that_ look flashed across his perfect features. You know that look that says "I _will_ get you back for that comment"? The look that warned me that I only had 5 seconds to prepare.

I braced myself and counted to five in my head. Sure enough, as soon as I hit five, he pulled me onto him, and rolled us over, so he was hovering over me. Almost immediately, his hand found my sides, and he began to tickle.

I squealed and laughed, flopping around under him.

"E-Ed-Edward!" I managed to squeal out his name between gasps and hysterical laughter, "Oh god! M-make… STOP!" I kept laughing.

"Why should I?" he teased, not letting up on the ambush even a little.

"I h-have… Pee!!" I squealed.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" he lightened up his attack a little, because I said the magical "p" word.

I didn't even have to go, but he didn't know that.

"I said… I have to pee."

"Is that my fault?" he asked, proud of himself. He stopped and got off of me, thinking I was going to get up and run for the bathroom.

"Works every time." I smiled, pretending like I was going to curl into his side.

He was completely taken by surprise when I suddenly straddled his hips, mine hovering slightly above his. The flash of lust in his eyes made me almost feel bad for what I was about to do. Almost.

"If you don't move, we're going to have a bit of a problem on our hands, Miss Swan." Edward warned.

I put on my best innocent expression and started running a hand down his bare chest.

"Whatever do you mean?" I teased.

His breathing got a little harder, his pupils dilated, and his nostrils flared slightly.

"Bella…" he warned again.

My hand had reached about halfway down his abs. before he could register what I was doing I shifted my position slightly and moved both my hands to his sides, tickling him back.

I was determined to win this tickle war.

He twitched and laughed and gasped, begging me to stop for a full two minutes before he remembered that he's stronger than me, and all he had to do was push my hands away. He wrapped his hands around my wrists and held my hands away from his body. He lay under me still trying to catch his breath.

"I win." I smirked.

He nodded, letting go of my wrists, bringing his hands to my hips. Mine wound up resting on his bare stomach. Lust was still the dominant emotion in his eyes, only now I was sure I had a similar look on my face as well.

I wanted him. I wanted him _bad_.

I decided now was a good time as ever to test my limits.

Slowly as I could, giving myself time to think, relax, and most importantly react, I lowered my hips to his.

Oh yeah, he was hard and a rock.

I jumped slightly at the contact, but took a few seconds to realize I was perfectly okay. Edward, however, moaned loudly at the feeling of my hot center resting on top of him, but as soon as the sound left his body he realized what I was doing. He immediately tensed and looked at my face, concerned. He was gauging my reaction.

I took a slow deep breath and closed my eyes, just focusing on letting myself feel. It felt extremely good.

I was pleased to find out that I wasn't remembering anything I didn't want to… yet.

I opened my eyes to find an anxious expression on Edward's face.

I smiled at him, helping him relax a little and smile back.

"You okay?" he asked, just to be sure, looking at me with more love in his eyes than I'd seen yet.

I nodded and he got a more serious expression on his face, and there was a small flash of pain in his eyes that would have been unnoticeable to anyone else.

"Bella. You need to tell me the second this becomes too much for you." he pleaded with his eyes.

"Of course." I agreed.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

I leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. One of his hands left its place on my hip and cupped my cheek.

"I love you." he whispered against my mouth.

"I love you too."

I pulled away slowly, sitting back up so our hips reconnected. The hand that was on my cheek slid down my neck, to the valley between my breasts, and continued on, back to my hip.

He watched me carefully, waiting to see what I'd do next. He wanted me in control. He probably figured I knew my limit. Unfortunately I didn't, but I was more than willing to find out.

Lightly, barely moving, I ground my hips against his, both of us groaned at the feeling. I kept going for about a minute, when I decided I wanted to try for more. I experimentally ground a little bit harder.

And ladies and gentlemen, we have found Bella's limit.

I felt myself tense as Phil's sadistic smile flashed in my head.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called from what seemed like a distance. He sounded concerned.

Flashes of every time Phil had touched me went through my mind. No full memories, just hundreds of moments. Like a picture slideshow on fast forward.

"Bella, love?" he sounded even more concerned, with a dash of worry now.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that he'd sat up and was eye level with me now. He was wiping away the tears that I didn't feel silently falling.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

I looked down, unable to make eye contact with him.

"Bella, look at me." he sounded desperate.

When I didn't comply, he put a finger under my chin and gently turned my face to him. I can only imagine what he found there because my heart broke a little at his expression. The pain in his eyes was unbearable. I hated that it was my fault it was there.

"Love, you _never_ need to apologize for this. It's not your fault." he said, his green eyes begging me to listen, "I don't want you to push yourself too hard. I can wait as long as you need me to."

"But what if I'm never able to get there, Edward? What if I'm permanently damaged? More than I thought?" I said through my tears. Saying that out loud made me realize that, that could be possible. I might never be able to make love to Edward. That thought brought out a whole new round of tears.

Because I wanted it so bad.

"I don't care, Bella. I don't need it I'm happy with whatever you can give me I love you and don't want to touch anybody else. If I can't have you, that's fine, but I don't want anyone in your place, either."

Another sweet speech that made me want to do nothing more than jump his bones. And of course, I couldn't do that.

"I know that, but you aren't getting it." I cried.

He looked at me confused.

"I want it, too. I hate that I can't give it to you. I want it so bad."

"Come here, Bella." he held out his arms to me.

His expression was somewhere between anger, concern and pain. It was heartbreaking. I crawled into his arms, and let him lay me down next to him and hold me while I cried myself to sleep.


	12. Shopping

**~~Rewritten~~**

**_Disclaimer: I'm STILL not Stephanie. I did recently get food poisoning from a pickle though..._**

* * *

Three weeks.

Three weeks since my little episode.

Three weeks since I got any more than a chaste kiss or small hug from Edward, out of fear that he'd make me freak out again, not that it was his fault to begin with.

Three weeks until summer.

Three weeks was a fairly significant amount of time right now in my life.

I lay in my be contemplating this, think about how nervous I was about graduation, and how frustrated I was with Edward. Then I heard the last thing I wanted to hear at nine on a Saturday morning. Alice.

"Bella!!" she screamed from downstairs.

I rolled out of bed and walked to the top of the stairs. She was at the bottom.

"Alice, why the hell are you in my house? Better yet, how did you even get in to being with?" I asked confused about how she'd managed to do it…again.

"That's not important. What's important is that we get you showered, fed, and dressed because we're going shopping. Rose is in the kitchen making you breakfast. Now get in the shower." she ordered.

I did as I was told, because nobody disobeys Alice when shopping was involved. It was a death sentence. But really, Alice? Shopping? Me? Fuck my life!

As much as I needed girl time, I hadn't had much of it because Edward, Jazz, or Emmett were always with us, usually all three, I didn't want to spend that time shopping. I missed Alice, though so I'd go.

As I showered, I contemplated the horrors that come along with Alice shopping. Alice was known in Port Angeles, and parts of Seattle as the best, but also most feared customer. She had a reputation of using employees relentlessly. She made them carry her items while she was browsing, then to the dressing room, and then made them bring the rejects back, and carry her purchases to her car. It was absolutely crazy, but she tipped the employees in every store _very_ well, so everyone wanted to help her.

I rushed through my shower, knowing that had I taken much longer Alice literally would have come in and forced me out. She'd done it before.

I wrapped myself up in a towel and went to my room. The little Tinkerbelle remake had already put an outfit on my bed. I recognized none of the clothes, and honestly the black leggings and deep blue sweater dress were not my style, and I didn't like them very much, but you _never_ show any strain of doubt in what Alice picks out. When she's angry she goes from Tinkerbelle to the tooth fairy in Darkness Falls. It's terrifying.

Once I was dressed Alice and Rose appeared at my door with an egg sandwich and a ridiculous amount of beauty supplies.

I was deemed acceptably presentable about an hour later when my face had a light layer of makeup and my hair hung in loose curls down my back. We all made our way out to Rose's BMW and off we went, to Port Angeles. I was in the back seat so I took the opportunity to text Edward, because there was no way I'd be seeing him today. I knew he'd still be sleeping, but I was feeling spiteful and if I had to be awake, so did he.

I hate the morning.

_I hate your sister sometimes. ~B_

There was 80's music blasting, at the moment it was "What is love" by Haddaway. Sure enough within two minutes my phone beeped with a text from Edward.

_You needed to wake me up to tell me that? ~E_

_Yes. I'm feeling kind of spiteful because she woke me up. If I have to suffer, then so do you __~B_

He didn't answer me for about five minutes, and all it said was good night.

Edward doesn't like being woken up, either, I guess.

I manage to zone out through most of the 8 hours of shopping, mechanically putting on what Alice told me to and what not. It was awful. My legs felt like Jell-o. Alice bought me a bunch of clothes that I hated, but admittedly looked good in, and we had a nice dinner at _La Bella Italia_ before we started back home, blasting 90's music this time.

We were all singing "Can't Touch This" when all the sudden the music was turned down, and Alice was turning to look at me.

"Bells? How far have you gotten with Edward?"

I felt the color slowly leave my face while I remembered something absolutely crucial to this moment.

Alice and Rose didn't know. I'd only told Edward and Charlie. Shit.

"I, uh, well…" I stammered. "Not very."

I couldn't tell them now. Not the place.

"What?!" Rose squealed. "Why not? You two have been together for like, months."

Was it really that hard to believe? Either way, this was not the place to spill the beans.

"I'll explain later." I mumbled.

Alice was already pulling out her phone and dialing a number.

"You bet your ass you will." she squealed.

"Alice. Why do you seem so interested in your brother's sex life?"

Rose started laughing an Alice scoffed.

"It's easier thinking about it as yours and he's a faceless…thing. And clearly, said faceless thing is not keeping my best friend satisfied."

I was about to protest when she hit send on her phone and held it up to her ear, effectively silencing me.

"Edward. You need to disappear tonight. We're having a girl's night, and you're not invited. We'll mostly be talking about you and your non-existent sex life anyway."

I heard muffled complaints from the other end. He would text me the second they hung up the phone.

"No we can't do this anywhere else. You can stay at Bella's with Charlie for all I care. Just don't show up at home." and with that, she ended the call, and I almost immediately got a text.

_You're telling them? ~E_

_They asked. It's not right to not tell them. They deserve to know, just like you and Charlie do. ~B_

For the time being, the music was blasting again, this time with Kris Kross's "Jump". Alice was singing along with the "Wiggity wiggity whack" part. It was hilarious, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh.

_Call or text if you need me. I love you ~E_

_I will. I love you too ~B_


	13. Plans

**Shabammm! The whole story is fixed. It took way less time than expected, mostly because I stayed home from school today... at least some good came from sleeping through my alarm :)**

** I made some changes to a lot of the story *mainly chapters 3 and 10* so going back and rereading might be a good idea. Since I didn't know I was going to do certain things when I started this story, I changed some things so they aren't such sudden issues that Bella has. It builds up much better, I think.**

**Good news? I'm pretty sure I didn't actually change a single thing in this chapter except for exchanging a word or two, so that's one less to re-read, unless you want to.**

**More good news? The next chapter is about halfway done, so you'll be getting new stuff soon :)**

* * *

"Okay, Bells. Spill." Alice encouraged from her perch on her bed.

Rose was quieter from her place next to Alice. She seemed to notice the stress that Alice was completely oblivious to. She looked almost anxious, which made me wonder what kind of crazy expression was on my face.

"Take your time, Bella." Rose suggested, lightly elbowing Alice's ribs giving her a meaningful look.

Alice finally seemed to notice the tension and her face fell. She looked almost scared of what she was about to hear. I didn't blame her.

"It's bad, isn't it?"

I only responded with a nod. I took a deep breath before I started. I knew it was going to be hard, but after Edward and Charlie's reactions I was worried about what this would do to Alice. She'd been so upset about Renee, and that was nothing compared to this.

"Well, I should probably start at the beginning. Renee remarried about four years ago, and I was strictly told not to tell anyone. Renee said it was to keep Charlie from being upset, and I was young and stupid enough to believe her. His name was Phil. He was a minor league baseball player. He was a hardcore druggie, something I didn't realize until too late. He overdosed on something last year. I danced and sang show tunes at his funeral."

A look of understanding crossed Rose's face. I wondered just how sheltered Carlisle and Esme kept Alice because she wasn't getting it.

I proceeded to explain what I had to Edward, and then Charlie, omitting most of the details for Alice's sake. I hated admitting it. It made me feel weak and vulnerable. Two things I most definitely was not. I'd gotten good at hiding that broken feeling. So good that I never really noticed it anymore unless I was talking about it, or like I'd learned three weeks ago, if I was attempting to do anything more than kiss someone.

"I'm so sorry, Bella!" Alice squealed, a bad squeal mind you, before she launched herself at me crying her eyes out. I'd decided after telling Edward that I was done crying over this.

Rose was stunned to silence, I'm guessing. I knew that she'd had a similar encounter in Port Angeles a couple years ago so this was probably hitting her a little harder than it did Alice. She seemed to be holding herself together a little better, though.

"Does Edward know?" She asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

"Of course. He was the first one I told."

I rubbed Alice's back soothingly as she began to calm down. She finally took a deep breath and sat back. She looked like a raccoon. Her mascara was all over her face. Had she not been so upset, I would have made a joke about it.

It was quiet for a few minutes while Rose and Alice absorbed what I'd told them. Alice slowly turned back into her old bubbly self. Of course, she was the one that broke the silence.

"Have you and Edward even tried anything yet?"

I couldn't help but giggle at her forwardness. I still found it a little odd that she was so willing to listen to her brother's sex life.

"Yeah, but we still had all our clothes on when I started freaking out. He hasn't even tried to start anything again, and when I try he stops me. I'm pretty sure he's afraid of me losing it again."

"That is so like him. He won't want to try unless he's 100% sure you're okay." Alice sighed.

"What if I'm never ready, though? What if he gets sick of waiting? What if I'm just too broken?"

If Rose was Medusa, I'd be a statue.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Are you insane? We're talking about Edward. He's been in love with you since he was like five. Nothing is ever going to get him to give up on that now, especially for such a dumb reason. Since you've been back, it's like he's a whole new person. He's been so happy. He wouldn't give that up for the world. Everyone knows that." She practically yelled at me.

I was so shocked that I actually started to cry.

"Rose, that was beautiful!" Alice sniffed, and then I noticed she was crying too.

I didn't pay much attention to that, though. Rose's speech made me realize exactly how much Edward loves me. I felt terrible for having even fleeting thoughts about him being able to just give up on me.

"Come on guys. I can't handle both of you crying. Somebody needs to stop." Rose joked causing both me and Alice to involuntarily giggle.

I didn't want to laugh but it was better than crying. Plus, crying would just get in the way of planning.

"Guys, how do I make this work?" I said with a heavy sigh.

"Well you could do this the way I did." Rose suggested.

I must have looked confused because I had no idea what she was talking about.

"This is a pretty personal question, but, do you touch yourself?" Alice chimed in.

And cue the blush. I felt like I was a shade of red that _Crayola_ didn't even have a name for.

"We can take that as a no."

"Well, in my head it doesn't feel good. It's not my fault." I mumbled from my hiding place, behind my hands.

"That's the point Bells. It'll help your brain stop associating pain with what should feel good. Trust me, it worked for me." Rose explained. "It'll probably be hard the first few times, but once you get used to it, it's amazing."

"Okay, so anyway, Bells. What you need to do is just touch yourself until you're fully comfortable with it and can enjoy it. Then, phone sex or sexting, maybe both, would be the next step. Then let him watch, and then actually touch you and so on. It'll take a long ass time, but it'll be so worth it in the end." Alice continued explaining.

My jaw dropped and I was probably looking at them like they had 2 heads and 6 extra limbs. I mean, their idea really was brilliant, but would I be able to pull that off? Better yet, how the _fuck_ was I supposed to suggest this to Edward?

"Bella, close your mouth. You wanted a plan, and we gave you one." Rose laughed at me.

"But, how the hell am I supposed to get Edward to agree to this?"

"Well, it's simple, really. No matter what he says, he is a man and is constantly imagining you naked in his bed and he'll do whatever necessary to get you there, and more importantly get you better." Alice reasoned.

I hoped she was right.


	14. Success

**Tah dah!**

**This could have been out like, I don't know, 3 days ago. Then I decided I didn't like what I originally wrote so BAM! Rewrite! And THEN my stupid Piece of Crap Dell has been having all kinds of keys falling off the keyboard... I take very good care of it and it's barely a year old which means, FUCK YOU DELL ;)**

**Anyway, enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Still not Stephanie. Now I'm not Screamin' Jay Hawkins or the studio that owns _Cold Creek Manor_ either. I own nothing except multiple very bruised foot bones. Fuck you best friends couch...**

* * *

I was nervous. So, so very nervous.

Edward had just left and I wanted to start working on Operation Happy Bella--as Rose began calling it. She'd also suggested that in the shower was a good place to try it out.

I really hoped I could handle it on my own. Especially because I'd decided not to tell Edward until he was needed. Not that he didn't deserve to know but it was a little embarrassing and I was just saving myself from humiliation for as long as possible.

Charlie had left for Billy's about eight minutes before—yes I counted. It didn't escape my notice that he'd been spending more time than normal down on the reservation, but Charlie was an adult, free to do as he pleased so I just left him to it.

I was completely alone and free to do as I pleased.

_At least I don't need to be concerned if I'm a screamer._ I thought to myself, chuckling humorlessly.

Alice and Rose had turned me into a vag whacker.

I waited in my room until I was positive that I was alone. I proceeded to grab pajamas and such and make my way to the bathroom. I spent a good fifteen minutes looking in the mirror telling myself out loud that I could do it—before I even turned the water on. The extra five minutes while the water was heating up was what I needed to really cement my decision to do this.

"It's not that hard, Bella," I told myself out loud, "People do this all the time. It'll help."

I finally got into the shower and took my time washing up, paying closer attention to certain parts of my body.

When I knew I couldn't put it off any longer I got to work. I followed Rosalie's instructions and took the detachable shower head out of its holder and let my imagination, and hands, loose. I apparently had a wonderful imagination.

_I was in the shower. I heard the door open. My heart raced, but I wasn't frightened like I should have been. I knew it was just him._

_I watched his shadow through the shower curtain, feeling the sudden slickness between my legs as I saw his long fingers wrap around the edge. My heart rate sped up even more and my lower abdomen was tingling._

_He was glorious with clothes on, but there were no words to describe a naked Edward. He was Michelangelo's _David_ reincarnated. His lean muscles in his legs and arms flexed slightly as he stalked towards me, water darkening his hair and running over his solid body. It made me want to lick his washboard abs and muscled chest._

_When he was close enough he ran his knuckles down my cheek._

"_You're so beautiful, Balls." He whispered._

Of course he'd call me balls in my own fantasy. Maybe I had a secret love for that name…

I stopped my internal ramblings and got back to it.

_I felt myself blush. He was staring deeply into my eyes, his own green ones filled with lust, love and desire._

_He moved closer, pushing my back up against the cold tile wall. The contrast in the temperature between the wall and his body, which was pressing up against me in the most delicious ways, was pleasurable._

_His hands, which had been on the wall on each side of my head made their way to my hips and he leaned in and kissed me gently. His hands wandered up my sides stopping just under my breasts. He pulled away slightly looking to see if it was okay._

_I nodded for him to continue._

_He attached his lips to my neck, and his hands moved to palm the soft mounds on my chest. His thumbs grazed my nipples._

And with that I lost it. I came without fantasy Edward even really touching me. If real Edward was even half as good, I was in for quite a treat when I could handle it.

And then it really sunk in. I hadn't flipped out. I could do this.

A wide smile spread across my face that had nothing to do with the orgasm I'd just had and I was so proud of myself that I felt like I could fly.

I hopped out of the shower and rushed through drying myself and getting dressed which resulted in my clothes sticking to my net-yet-dry body. I wanted to tell someone. Of course Edward was out for the time being, and I knew Rose was with Emmett. That left Alice.

I dove on my bed with my phone and dialed her number.

"Is this a bad time, Alice?" I asked. Even I could hear the obvious smile in my voice.

"No, no! I was just in Edward's room. He's flipping out about something stupid, but don't let that bring you down. Why do you sound so happy, Bells?!"

I frowned at her words.

"What's wrong with Edward?"

"Oh, he's just mad at me. Don't worry about it. Now spill!"

I decided to let it go for now and tell her. I'd call Edward after.

"I did it." I squealed and Alice worthy squeal.

"No freaking out at all?" she asked.

"Not even for a second."

"Oh, Bella! I'm so proud of you!" She squeaked.

I was about to open my mouth when I heard Edward in the background.

"I wasn't fucking done talking to you Alice."

He sounded furious. I was really curious about why.

"Alice, give him the phone."

"Okay." She responded and then I heard a muffled "It's Bella; she wants to talk to you,"followed by the rustling of the phone changing hands.

"Hello, love." He said through gritted teeth.

"Don't 'hello love' me, Edward. Why are you being an ass to your sister? Or did she actually do something deserving this time?"

"Carlisle and Esme went out to dinner. When I was over your house she had Jasper over and I walked in on them… on my piano."

I didn't want to laugh. Honestly, I didn't but just picturing that was so weird that had I not laughed, I would have cried.

"Oh my god!" I laughed, "That's disgusting!"

"Why are you laughing?" he huffed.

"Because the image I get from that. It's just so, so funny!"

"It's not funny!"

"I know, I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"Can I go finish yelling at Alice now? I do think she deserves it." I could hear the frown in his voice, but he didn't sound quite as angry now.

"No. Charlie left for the night and I'm lonely. Come back, please."

"Why do I feel like he's spending an awful lot of time with Billy?" Edward asked.

"Can I have my phone back?" Alice asked Edward.

"Because he is." I answered, suddenly wondering what exactly was going on down at the reservation that Charlie was there all the time.

"I'll be over in a little while. See you soon, love. Here's Alice."

The rustling of the phone exchanging hands happened again and Alice's voice rang through the line.

"Thank you Bella!" she squeaked.

"Seriously, Alice? On his piano? You're lucky he didn't light your closet on fire. You owe me." I sighed.

"Well we didn't mean to, it was just there."

"No! No details, please. If you value my sanity you'll stop."

"You're not human."

"Actually, I am. But can I call you later or something?"

"Sure. I wanted to call Jasper anyway. Later, Bells."

"Bye Alice."

I hung up and wandered into the kitchen to find something for dinner. I turned the radio onto an oldies station and managed to find ingredients for a salad. I danced to Screamin' Jay Hawkins singing "I Put a Spell On you".

By the time I'd gotten to chopping up cucumbers and I was singing along with the song I had completely forgotten that Edward was coming. It wasn't until I did a funky spin move and saw him in the door that I remembered. He had a goofy grin on his face as he walked over to the radio and turned it down.

I had a feeling that this made up for the piano incident.

"Alright Jay, you've bewitched me"

I felt my face heat up and I was sure that I blushed deeper than I had in a long time.

"I knocked, but you probably didn't hear me over the music…" he trailed off.

"No, it's fine." I assured him and turned back to my cucumbers, the last part of my salad.

I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and kiss the side of my neck.

"Hello, beautiful."

"Hey." I responded softly.

I turned in his arms and stood on my tip toes to kiss him chastely before I grabbed my salad and moved to the table.

We made small talk while I ate and then went to watch a movie. We wound up watching _Cold Creek Manor_. Edward lay down across the narrow couch and pulled me on top of him. His arms were wrapped around me and my head was lying comfortably on his chest.

He fell asleep within twenty minutes, and I lasted no more than five after him.

* * *

**Reviews are beautiful :)**

**I'm thinking Edward walking in on Alice and Jasper as an outtake... thoughts?**


	15. Fuckkk my life AN ONLY! BUT IMPORTANT!

**I am a douche. A totally, awful, asshole douche.**

**Not really, but I am? Does that make sense?**

**As I've had to tell you guys before, my year REALLY didn't get better from the last time I went forever and a day without updating. Senior year of high school completely kicked my ass.**

**In the last 6 months I've had bronchitis 4 times, no joke. I've also struggled with anxiety for a long time and in March I actually had a panic attack bad enough to warrant an emergency room visit, and I haven't been much better since. Then in April, the day before my brother's birthday to be exact, my best friend's brother, who I may have been romanitclly interested in at the time, was in a motorcycle accident and passed away, so as you can imagine, I lost a bit of my mojo for a while. (R.I.P. Chris, we all still miss you so much)**

**To add to that shit storm, I've also found out I'm moving. To an apartment. My mom and I tried our best to find a place that would take my dogs, which were boxers so there's a lot of breed restriction surrounding them, and we were unsuccessful. One of them went the Sunday before last to my mother's cousin in Maryland which I couldn't be more grateful for because I know she loves the shit out of her pets. The other went just on Thursday to 2nd Chance Boxer Rescue in Maine. His name's Otto, and if you're looking for an adorable, and I mean really, really adorable dog and you live in Maine, he has several heart problems and is about four, but the issues haven't bothered him in about two years, he's an amazing dog and I'd like him in a permanent, amazing home as soon as possible. He's also great with kids and any other pet. He's a total sweetheart. Anyway, for you or anyone you know, spread the word. You can read about him on their site, copy and paste the link. Replace the (dot) with comma's and take out the spaces. www (dot) secondchanceboxer (dot) org/Dogs2010/Otto070110 (dot) html They don't have a picture of him yet, but here's one (Add the second slash to the http) http:/twitpic (dot) com/1ohx1s**

**Now enough advertising the world shitting on my life. On to what makes me a total awful asshole douche.**

**I 100% forgot about my story in the shit storm I've been living until like 10 minutes ago I got an email about someone putting this story on alert, (Thanks, CarmenMoon, btw for having hope that I hadn't jumped off a cliff or lost both my hands in a thumb war or something equally ridiculous). I'll need to re-read it all to figure out where the fuck it was going. That won't take long, but I need a serious distraction and I hope, not that it's summer and I'm officially a high school graduate (Yay! Something good came out of the last 6 months!) I can pour the needed time into this story, and hopefully write even more.**

**I'm so, so sorry you guys and I hope to get an update to you guys in the next few days.**

**I still love you guys and sorry for forgetting about you, I've been completely flipping out for a while, though, you know? Anyway, I don't think I'll be deleting this A/N so I guess you can leave a review on it and tell me what a douche-face-twat-waffle I am and it won't affect your ability to review the next chapter, although nobody usually did... But a girl can dream, right?**

**Anyway, I'm so sorry you guys.**

**Much love,**

** Allie**


	16. Trippy Smurfs

**I told you guys I'd have it in a few days. And thanks for not flipping the fuck out at me, any of you. I expected at least one "fuck you I got excited for a real chapter" but got none :)**

**Anyway, I'm not sure if I told you guys already, but the Piano Incident outtake is in the outtake story of this, you can get to it from my profile.**

**I won't keep you guys waiting much longer, I'm sure you just want to read.**

**Enjoy. A review would make me feel 100 times better about how my life is going right now *Hint hint***

**_Disclaimer: Still not Stephanie. I still, unfortunately, don't own the characters, just to torture I put them through, and a fun walking cast from an ankle injury in April._**

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I glanced around the room that I'd never quite noticed was so big, with a huge smile on my face. The room was empty, but it was coming together nicely.

"Swan, it's your turn." Alice groaned. She wanted a shower, soon. She hated the fact that she was absolutely covered in paint.

I sighed and picked up another dart. I took in the balloon pieces scattered around the drop cloths and giggled a little. Splatter paint was a brilliant idea, until we actually tried to do it. We wound up filling balloons with paint and made a game out of shooting darts with them. It had been Emmett's idea. We never should have gone for it, but we did.

"Come on, love. You're 15 points behind everyone else. This will make you or break you." Edward encouraged me.

"No pressure, or anything." Emmett added.

"Screw you all. Shut up." I frowned, "You're distracting me. The more you distract, the more you wait."

That shut them all up.

I spent about a minute preparing myself for this throw. We weren't really playing for a prize. Just bragging rights, but my competitive nature had me out to win. Even though I was down by three balloons and getting this last one still wouldn't help me out of last place. It's the effort that counts, to me. I pulled my arm back just enough, and I could tell I was about to nail it until four out of the five other people in the room yelled various things, and one poked me in both sides.

The dart fell pathetically to the floor, four feet away from me.

"What the FUCK you guys!"

The poking fingers became arms wrapped around my waist.

"Sorry, Balls. It needed to be done." Edward whispered in my ear.

At that same moment, somehow the laws of physics were defied—or it was just the extremely hot lamp pointing at it—the ballon burst on its own, splattering us all, and the wall with neon purple paint.

"What the hell?" Jasper wondered out loud.

"Oh, that was just my mad telepathy skills that you guys don't know about." I joked.

"Really?" Emmett yelled.

Honestly, I loved Emmett like a brother, but sometimes, he's dumb as a box of rocks. I decided to go with it and shot Alice a meaningful look over his shoulder.

"Of course. Like I can turn the lamp off, too."

I looked at the lamp and Alice pulled the plug after a few seconds.

"_Holy shit!_" He screamed.

"Language, Emmett!" We all heard Charlie yell up to us.

It only got funnier when Emmett ran into the hallway, screaming.

"No way Charlie! Bella's a fucking _telepath_!"

I couldn't hold it anymore. I tried. I really did. It took mere seconds for my mouth to do the whole "I'm-trying-not-to-laugh-but-it sounds-like-I'm-farting-with-my-mouth-instead" business. Edward followed, too. And then Rose, Alice, and finally, Jasper.

"What the hell are you talking about, Emmett? And why are you guys laughing so hard? What'd you do to him this time?" Charlie scolded as he came up the stairs to see what was going on.

"Yeah... Why are you guys… Oh. Never mind. You guys are assholes!" Emmett said as he finally noticed the plug to the lamp was in Alice's hand as she rolled around in the paint on the floor, laughing.

He looked like a kicked puppy and I felt a little bad until I realized he was stupid enough to believed us. Then I just started laughing harder.

"How could you-" Edward tried, "It's not even-" he was just laughing too hard to get it out.

"Emmett, we need to teach you the fine art of sarcasm." Jasper sighed.

I stopped laughing almost immediately when I noticed the look on Charlie's face. I was in trouble.

"What the _hell_ is this Isabella Marie Swan?"

Whoops.

"You said I could do whatever I want with it. So I did." I answered, trying to be confident about it. I'm not sure how well it worked. I got middle named. I'd never been middle named by Charlie before.

"Well, yeah. I thought you'd just paint it pink or something. Not-not-_this!_"

I noticed that everyone but Edward had silently snuck out of the room, and probably left. I didn't blame them though. An angry police chief is something no one wants to deal with.

"Relax, Dad. It'll look more tolerable with furniture. Just be happy Edward talked me out of the glow-in-the-dark paint. I'll change it when I leave for college, no worries."

"Bella, you have _completely_ lost your mind." He sighed, completely dumbfounded.

"No worries, Chief." I assured him.

"Bella, you're going to give him an aneurism one day." Edward joked.

"You have no idea…" Charlie agreed.

"Well, since we're done here, I'm going to take a shower. Dad, can I take the truck and bring Edward home after? I'm pretty sure his ride left him hanging…"

"Yeah, I guess"

I practically ran for the bathroom while Charlie was saying something I completely missed to Edward. I started laughing as soon as I saw myself in the mirror. I could barely see my ivory skin under the layers of various neon colors. My long hair didn't have a single visible trace of brown. It was an odd mix of blue, green, purple, and red, all of the neon variety. It was mostly blue, though.

"I look like a smurf during an acid trip." I mumbled to myself.

I started the water in the shower. I pulled off the oversized shirt I'd used for painting and then realized I had no where to put it.

"Edward?" I called out.

"Yeah?"

"Can you get me a garbage bag for my clothes?" I asked, while I stripped out of my jeans, leaving me in my underwear.

"Sure."

Within a minute there was a gentle knock on the door. I unthinkingly opened it.

"Wow." Edward whispered, wide eyed, clearly checking my body out.

Then I remembered I was holding my pants and shirt in my hand. I felt my face heat up faster than it ever had. I felt tears start to flood my eyes as his expression slowly became pained as he took in all the scars on my abdomen and upper legs that he'd never seen.

"I, uh… Thanks."

"Bella..."

"Not yet. Please?"

He just closed his eyes and nodded, handing me the stupid bag. I took it and tried to close the door, but he stopped me.

"I love you." He whispered, trying to smile.

"I love you, too." I whispered back.

He let me shut the door this time. I rushed through my shower, trying not to think about then scars I was touching, or how they got there. It took me no less than 45 minutes—30 of which were using cold water—to get most of the paint out of my hair.

When I was done, I rushed to get dressed and I threw my hair up in a sloppy bun. I put on jeans and a simple black tank top.

"Okay, let's go." I yelled to Edward who was absorbed in some baseball game that I had no interest in. "I'll be back later, dad."

I grabbed the keys and walked out the door without even waiting for Edward, like I probably should have. I knew he'd want to hear about the scars, because I'd never mentioned them. I wasn't ready for that, yet. I knew he'd be okay with that and wouldn't make me tell him, but I felt like he needed to know.

I waited leaning against Charlie's 50-something Chevy that had no guarantee of starting, contemplating how exactly to tell him the extreme that Phil had gone to.

I heard him quietly come outside when he shut the door, but I didn't hear him walk up to me. I didn't know he had until I could see his feet in my line of vision because my gaze was fixed on the ground.

"Bella?" He whispered.

I could hear how upset he was and it killed me a little bit.

"Bella?" He said a little louder when I didn't respond.

I still didn't make a move to look at him or try to say anything.

Instead of saying my name again, he stroked my cheek and then lifted my face with a finger. There were tears in my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile at the sight. He looked like a trippy smurf, too.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because you look like a trippy smurf, and it's impossible not to laugh at that."

"You're lucky I love you. Nobody else could get away with saying that."

"I love you, too. And I know you want to talk about it, but that's not happening until I can look at you without feeling like I'm on acid."

"Fair enough." He said trying to open the passenger door for me.

"No way, jizz stain, I'm driving."

"Oh, we're back to this? Whatever, cootie queen." He rolled his eyes and got in the passenger side.

"Tell me you didn't just quote a gum commercial? You are so cheesy." I rolled my eyes as I got in the drivers seat.

We were quiet the whole way to his house—not that it was far, but that didn't usually happen.

I followed him up to his room after we'd arrived. He kissed me softly, told me he loved me and that we'd talk when he was done, and I went in search of Alice.

I only had to go down the hall. Where I found her wrapping a present.

"Sit, Bella. What's wrong?" She asked without even looking up. It was a little scary how good she was sometimes.

I sat, like she told me to, but I wasn't sure how to tell her what was wrong. I didn't want to talk about the scars more than once tonight.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." I tried.

"Not happening. What did Edward do?"

I rolled my eyes at her assumption, even though she didn't see it.

"Edward hasn't done anything. I just need to talk to him about something, and no, I'm not talking to you about it, too, tonight."

"Trouble in paradise?" she asked, finally looking at me, with a sympathetic expression.

"I don't know." I groaned.

I knew everything would be okay, eventually. However, I knew this conversation would be harder than any other I'd ever have in my life. It'd be extremely hard on Edward, too. I knew how upset he got over Phil, and how much he blamed himself for it, too. It was hard for him to listen to, but he did anyway.

"Well, you don't need to tell me until you want to. And to lighten the mood, this is for you." She grinned, handing me the box she'd just wrapped before I walked in.

"Oh god. Should I be scared?"

"Yes. Yes you should be."

I just sighed because I knew there was no getting around it. I closed my eyes and tore the paper. I just ripped the edge a little to see what was in there. I slowly re-opened my eyes and… _Holy fuck._ It was a fucking _Rabbit_. How fast did Alice think I was going with this?

I felt my face heat up with the inevitable blush. I'm pretty sure I was a color Crayola didn't even have a name for again.

"Alice! What the fuck!" I all but yelled.

"Oh shush, you. It's so you have it for when you're ready. There's no rush to use it, I just want you to have it."

I didn't know if I should be happy that she thought about that, or embarrassed and disgusted that she thought about it. I was beyond mortified.

"Alice! What the fuck am I supposed to do with this until I leave? Edward can't-"

"Edward can't what?" I heard a smooth voice interrupt from the door.

_Shit._

I panicked and threw the still, thankfully, mostly wrapped box at Alice, who caught it and threw it under her bed.

"I'll put it in the truck for you." She smiled.

"I hate you."

She laughed at me.

"What was that?" Edward jumped in, completely confused.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing important." I jumped up and tried to pull him out of the room, but I wasn't fast enough.

"_I_ think it's pretty important, actually." Alice shouted after us through her laughter.

"Shut up before I kill you!" I yelled back to her.

"I'm so confused." Edward mumbled, giving me a questioning look.

"I'll tell you when you're old enough." I replied.

"I'm older than you, though?"

"Minor details mean nothing."

He just started laughing at me then.

"If it's worth this much effort to cover it up, I _really_ need to find out what's in that box."

"No, you don't."

"I will eventually, you know." He teased.

"Yes. You will. When I decide to tell you."

"Right." He smirked.

He threw me over his shoulder and carried me the rest of the way to his room.

"I'm not even going to ask anymore." I said, purposely sounding bored.

"You'd make an excellent parrot, you know."

"Shut up."

He made it to his room and he threw me onto the bed.

"Was that necessary?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh come on, you've always loved that. Don't deny it."

I could tell he was still thinking about the scars. He seemed playful but the action didn't meet his eyes.

"I know." I whispered, sitting up in the middle of his large bed.

He sighed and sat down next to me. He took my hand in his, and began stroking his thumb over my fingers.

"Do I need to know about any other surprises?" He whispered.

I'd known this was taking a toll on him but I tricked myself into thinking it wasn't that bad.

"Edward…" I whispered, tears slowly threatening to spill down my face.

He kept his eyes focused on the golden comforter that surrounded us.

"Edward, look at me. Please?"

He did and my heart broke at his expression. He looked so tormented. His eyes were also glassy and threatening tears. I moved closer to him, but before I could actually do anything he pulled me into his lap, and wrapped his arms tightly around me. It was slightly painful, but I knew he needed it so I kept my mouth shut and just hugged him back.

"Oh, my Bella. I just… It's so hard to picture anyone hurting you. It kills me. I just love you so much.."

"I love you, too, but I need to breathe." I rasped.

I really was planning to keep quiet about it, but I couldn't talk without air. He loosened his grip just enough.

"Sorry." He mumbled and kissed my temple.

I pulled back slightly, knowing I needed to get this over with.

"Edward, I know you don't want to hear it, but we do need to talk about it."

"I know." He whispered, trying his hardest to keep eye contact.

He opened his mouth to complain when I started moving away from him, but I shook my head.

"You didn't see all of it before. I'm trying to prevent surprises, here." I tried to smirk but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace.

I backed up about a foot, and got on my knees. I pulled the waistband of my jeans down past where he would've seen before to show him what I meant. Etched into my hip in scars, was the word "mine". It wasn't just carved into my skin, but it had been burned there. Literally.

I kept my eyes on his face the entire time. Seeing what he'd seen before he'd looked sad. Then with the new skin I was showing he went from surprise, to shock, to disgust, to horror, to sadness, to straight up anger. I knew it wasn't at me, but the black fury brewing in his eyes was enough to make me look down like a scorned child.

"Bella. What the fuck did he do to you?" He seethed.

I kept his voice down because he knew I didn't want attention drawn to the situation. I was thankful for at least that much from him.

"It was about two years ago," I explained, "He burnt me. Probably with the same stupid lighter he used to get high to begin with."

"Oh my god, Bella," he sounded off. It took me a moment to realize he was crying. "I just… I don't get it. How could… Why would he… But you're so… Why you?"

I looked up and felt the tears finally roll down my face. He looked so broken and helpless. I all but tackled him.

"Don't cry." I whispered, wrapping my arms tightly around him.

"I just don't understand… Why someone as amazing as you?"

His arms made their was around my waist and his face into the crook of my neck. I held him for what seemed like hours. We were silent for a long time. Eventually he laid us down. I rested my head on his chest and he had one arm holding me close, and the other was occupied running calming fingers through my hair, lulling me into a deep, fitful sleep.

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**Did you love it? Hate it? Is Emmett too gullible? Should the definition of gullible in the dictionary be "Haha I made you look"? Let me know in a review. Good or bad, it'll make me smile :)**


	17. Progress

**What happens when I take forever and a half to get a chapter to you, after I promise more frequent updates? You get 5,543 words of Pixie Dust.**

**I worked for days, and days on this. Phone sex is hard to write.**

**And now I'm giving shit away. Oops ;)**

***Insert snarky disclaimer here because it's 5:00 in the morning and I'm presently too lazy to come up with one.***

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The weeks passed and before any of us knew what had happened, it was July.

The end of the school year had come and gone. Emmett had graduated and was off to UW in Seattle, much to Rosalie's dismay. We were all enjoying our last summer before the one where we could all be separated. It was heartbreaking to think about.

"What's the matter, love?" Edward asked from where he was sitting behind me, arms around my waist, head buried in my neck, where he loved to be.

"Just thinking," I responded. "It'll be strange being in school without Emmet."

He sighed and tightened his hold on me. I knew he felt the same. He loved his brother.

"It definitely won't be as funny."

"Definitely not."

We were in our meadow, under one of the large trees on the outer edge. I was comfortably next to him, using his shoulder as a pillow.. It was a rare sunny day and we were making the most of it.  
I had been spending most of my alone time working towards my goal. The goal I made with the help of Alice and Rose. The goal Edward still knew nothing about. I had thought about telling him on more than one occasion, but felt like I shouldn't tease him with it until I knew I was definitely ready for his involvement.

I felt like I was ready. Maybe.

I was at least ready to tell him why I often was out of breath answering the phone, considering with Alice's present—which had gotten quite the work out, by the way—my… activities no longer only happened in the shower.

"You're thinking about something else, love." Edward so sweetly pointed out.

"I know."

"Care to share?"

"I.. well… I don't know. I want to, but it's.. ugh." I groaned and turned my head into his shoulder to hide my face.

Talking about this was easier thought about than done.

"What's the issue, Bells?"

The issue was mostly that I spent 90% of my day thinking about the different ways I wanted to fuck him, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I had gotten him to loosen up a bit, but I wasn't ready to physically go further yet. I could do verbally, though.

"I want you." I blurted out, and immediately turned bright red.

Damn word vomit.

"Well I don't see that as an issue." He chuckled.

"It is, though. To me, it is."

I was really on a roll. I was already embarrassed so why not keep going, right?

He did that magic trick that guys do where they lift your face by a finger and that automatically means you can't look away. He looked happy, but confused.

"Why is that an issue? It's not like I don't want you. God knows I more than want you, Bella."

His expression was like truth serum.

"It's an issue because I want it so bad but I'm not ready for it."

His answering sigh was sad. I tried to look away but he wasn't having that.

"What can I do to help you, love?"

"Well I've been talking to Rose and Alice about… what happened in Phoenix…"

"And?" He nearly growled with a brief flash of anger in his eyes.

"You know how Rose had a.. similar.. encounter in Port Angeles, and now her and Emmet fuck like bunnies?" I asked.

He looked mildly disgusted, but he nodded anyway.

"Well, I asked her how she does it. You know, what helped her get over it. And I decided to try her method. I mean it worked wonderfully for her, so why shouldn't it work for me, right?"

I could feel the heat of my blush. I was probably inventing a shade of red with my face, again.

"I've never seen you blush like this, Bells. What does this… process… entail, exactly?" He smirked.

He knew he was close to getting some.

"Don't make fun of me for this, Edward. Please."

He immediately frowned, looking way more concerned than he did moments ago.

"Why would I make fun of you, love? I could never mock something that helps you."

"It's just really, really embarrassing." I frowned.

"I promise not to make fun of you."

"Well, she suggested that I… uh… work by myself for a while. You know, re-teach myself how to feel pleasure?"

"Oh? And is that working? Er, helping? Whichever it should be called?" He asked looking very turned on all the sudden.

"I think so…" I mumbled, speeding through the next part of my sentence, "And I'm at the point where I think I'm comfortable enough for you to help."

"Slow down a little, Bella. One more time, please?" He asked, looking confused. He obviously didn't even catch a syllable of that sentence, let alone a word. Who knew I could talk so fast?

"I said, I think I'm at the point where I need your help in this. I've done as much as I can on my own. I know I'm not quite ready for the physical stuff, though."

A playful smile crossed his lips.

"So, I get to dirty talk you for an endless amount of time?"

"Pretty much."

"Maybe we should start this right away," he said, nuzzling his face into my neck as he moved closer, "Would it be right for me to assume that by 'working on your own' you mean you've been touching yourself, Bella?"

I gulped, not prepared for the rush of heat to my core.

Apparently, I enjoy dirty talk.

"And what if I have been, Edward? What are _you_ going to do about it?" I replied, in what I hoped was a sexy voice.  
"I guess I can't really do much about it… yet. Except talking. That's too bad, isn't it? All talk and no action. I certainly hope I can talk my way through this part quickly." He whispered. His voice had dropped down a few octaves and had gotten considerably huskier. God damn if it didn't melt me a whole hell of a lot.  
"I wouldn't say NO action is involved…"  
"Hmm. Elaborate, please?" He question in a strained voice.  
Poor guy sounded like he was about to die of sexual frustration. I renewed my vow, right then and there, to get over my issues as fast as possible, for both of our sakes.  
"According to Rose, phone sex and sexting should have a huge part in this." I mentioned casually.  
"Oh, really?" He smiled, a huge, blinding, panty dropping smile.  
"Yes, really. And from there we should introduce the physical stuff at a pace we're comfortable with."  
I was a little confused when he suddenly whipped out his phone and started typing out what I assumed was a text. Who could he possibly have to text right now?  
That question was answered when my phone beeped.  
_Damn. He really _was_ desperate_.  
I quickly opened the message.  
_Does it still count if I'm only a few inches away? ~ E_I giggled and replied.

_I_ _feel like that defeats the purpose a little, no? I'm not ready to go home, yet, but the second we're apart, feel free to cyber-jump my bones ;) ~ B_

I sent the message and he groaned as he read it.

"I can't take you home now?"

"Nope. I'm not ready to be apart from you." I mumbled, snuggling into him again

"I can't decide if I'm okay with that or not," he chuckled, "I want you right here next to me, but this plan has me intrigued…"

I giggled and playfully slapped him in the chest.

"Shut it, douchetwat."

"Nope. I very much prefer it open." He smirked, poking me in the side earning a nice, loud, chihuahua worthy squeal from me.

He started cracking up. The noise got him _every_ time. Unfortunately.

_Why did my involuntary noises have to be so entertaining?_

"You're such a tool sometimes." I chuckled, unable to be mad at him for more than three seconds.

"But you love me for it." He grinned.

"Yeah, I know. I wonder if I can do something about that?" I joked, causing him to do this thing that I liked to call the 'extreme pout'.

It seriously looked like he just found out his puppy had cancer and it was the most heartbreaking look I'd ever seen. So heartbreaking that it had, on more than one occasion, made me cry.

"Don't you do that to me." I tried to scold him, but it just came out as a really pathetic, sad whine.

"But…" He even sounded heartbroken.

He should seriously consider starring in a soap opera.

"Fine. I love you more than you could ever know." I practically sobbed, kissing him fiercely.

"Come on. That look can't be _that _heartbreaking." He chuckled after he pulled away.

"It is, and you know it." I frowned.

I quickly moved to kiss him again, but R.E.M.'s _'Losing my Religion'_ started blasting from my phone.

I was going to kill whoever was calling me.

At least that's what I thought until I saw it was Charlie.

"Dammit, Charlie," I muttered causing Edward to laugh quietly.

I quickly answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey there, Bells. What are you up to?"

He sounded… off. I knew I was about to be forced home for some kind of lecture or forced bonding session. Don't get me wrong, I loved Charlie and all, but he had _terrible _timing.

"Just hanging around with Edward. Why?"

"I was hoping maybe we could do something tonight. Just the two of us. I feel like I haven't spent enough time with you since you've been back, you know?"

When he put it like that, I couldn't say no.

"Of course. When do you want me home?"

I glanced at Edward and his eyes were lit like fireworks on the Fourth of July. He was ready to play.

"I get out of work in about an hour. I was thinking when I got home we could go to the diner for dinner and then watch a movie at home, or something."

"Yeah, that would be great, Dad. I'll be there when you get home."

"Alright. See you soon, Bells."

I hung up and frowned at the sheer glee on Edwards face. If he thought I'd be sexting within mere feet of my police chief father, he was smoking some good shit.

"I have to go."

He pretended to sigh and got up slowly.

"I have a rule for you." I said sharply.

"And that is?" He smirked, knowing he'd try to break it as soon as I said something.

"No sexting while I'm in the same room as my father. He's like a fucking vampire out of that stupid movie Alice made us watch when I first got back. He knows EVERYTHING. He'll be able to tell."

"What's that? Not during dinner, but during the movie is fine? Okay. So text me during the movie." He grinned, standing up and then helping me up.

It was pointless to try. I just rolled my eyes and followed him into the woods, back towards his stupid shiny Volvo.

Dinner with Charlie was interesting. He seemed happier than usual, and he had more to talk about. A lot more. Which he wouldn't come right out and say, so I—of course—had to drag it out of him.

"So, Dad. Not that I'm complaining, but was there a reason for tonight?"

He looked almost offended, but it was so fake that I had to try not to laugh. He was still going to try and cover it up.

"What? I'm not allowed to do something nice for my only child once in a while? I haven't seen you much since you got back. I felt like we needed this."

"If you insist." I rolled my eyes, digging into my berry cobbler. He'd come out with it soon enough.

It wasn't until we were half way home—he lasted longer than expected—that he fussed up.

"Listen, Bells. There _is _a reason for me doing this tonight." He suddenly broke the silence, looking apprehensive.

"Alright. The cobbler made me more open to new ideas. Shoot." I smiled, hoping to make him look more comfortable.

"Here goes nothing," he whispered to himself before addressing me. "You know how I've been spending a lot of time with Billy?"

"What's her name, do I know her, and where is she from?" I asked, smiling broadly.

I'd just won a bet with Emmett.

"How the hell did you do that? Are you inside my brain or something?" Charlie said, trying to contain his laughter.

"It's this magic thing called knowing you wouldn't spend the night at Billy's when you have work in the morning." I joked.

I was happy for him. As far as I knew, he hadn't had anyone but me and Billy since Renee walked out on him. He deserved to be happy and it seemed like maybe he was about to get that.

"I haven't been as secretive about this as I thought I was, have I?"

"Not even close. I figured it out within a week of being here. Now, name?"

"Her name's Kate. She's from Port Angeles. She's a teacher in the high school there. I would've told you sooner, but I wanted to make sure it would last before you found out."

The look on his face told me there was more.

"That's great, Dad. I'm happy for you." I grinned, as we pulled into the driveway.

We both got out of the car, and walked towards the door.

"So, when do I get to meet her?" I asked, legitimately ecstatic for my father.

He'd been alone way too long, being the terminal bachelor that he was.

"I was hoping to have her over for dinner on Thursday. You don't have to cook, we can order in. I think you'll like her, though."

He really did look happy.

"Nonsense. What kind of food does she like, and does she have allergies I should know about? And can Edward come to dinner, too?"

"Italian, no, and yes. What movie should we watch?" He called to me as I walked towards the kitchen for popcorn, a soda, and a beer.

It made me laugh at moments like these, when I realized how similar we can be.

"Awesome, okay, and awesome. And how about 'The Hangover'?" I called back, searching the cabinets for the popcorn.

"Perfect." He called, "And I'll take a soda instead of the beer I know you're about to grab for me."

I laughed, loudly. At that exact moment my hand was about half an inch away from the beer I was about to grab for him.

I pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and poured it into two small bowls and carried everything back to the living room where Charlie was already in his chair.

"Popcorn, and a soda." I smiled, handing him each.

"Thank you, Bells."

I curled up on the couch and pulled out my phone to text Edward.

_Do me a favor, and let Emmett know he owes me $30. And you're coming to dinner on Thursday ~B_

I looked up to the first shot of Zach Galifinakis's bare ass and started laughing immediately, completely zoning out to the movie.

It wasn't until just after they found out Carlos was Tyler that I realized my phone had gone off.

_I thought we were going out Thursday night? And Emmett wants to know why ~E_

I frowned. I'd forgotten we were going out that night.

_We'll go out Friday. Thursday we're having dinner with Charlie… and Kate :) ~B_

_Kate? ~E_

_Yes, Kate. Charlie's girlfriend Kate :D ~B_

I couldn't help the wide grin that spread across my face.

I almost pissed myself, however, when all the sudden Charlie was screaming along with the movie.

"NOT UP IN HERE!" He yelled, with the exact attitude of the female cop.

I was quick to respond.

"NOT UP IN HERE!"

We both laughed straight through the "Slide it on back there, fat Jesus" line.

The end of the movie came all too quickly. Charlie hurried to turn the television off before the pictures in the credits came up. He thought I was still too young to see them, but I had before anyway.

Charlie had to get up early for work so we said our good nights and went into our rooms for the night. Well, Charlie went in for the night, at least. I just wanted to work on my ''healing process". It was only 9:00. I pulled out my phone shooting Edward a quick text.

_Did the news give you a heart attack? Should I be worried that you haven't answered? ~B _

I sprawled out on my bed with a book waiting for him to answer.

I glanced at the clock a while later and realized an hour had passed. I was about to call Alice when I was startled by _"Losing My Religion"_.

_I really need to change that ringtone,_ I thought.

I scrambled for the phone, seeing Alice was calling. I answered immediately.

"Hey, Alice."

"Tell Edward to leave me alone." She practically yelled, probably making sure he heard her.

I heard him in the background.

"Let me talk to her, Alice."

"What happened? I take it this has something to do with why he stopped answering my texts?"

"He's an idiot and he let Emmett see the last text. Emmett threw the thing at a wall and killed it. It was a quick and painless death, but he's been bugging me to borrow my phone since then. It's not my fault Mom and Dad got rid of the land-line. Like seriously. I say he'll be fine until he gets a new one." She explained, so fast that if I hadn't known her all my life, I wouldn't have gotten a single word of it.

"Alice, come on!" Edward whined from Alice's end.

"Tell him to take Esme's phone. She's probably not planning on using it anytime soon."

"Oh, duh. Why didn't I think of that?" She said to me before moving the reviver away from her mouth and saying to Edward, "Go get mom's phone. She's probably not using it."

"You're two very smart people, and you had to call _me _to figure this out?" I joked.

"He was annoying me so much I couldn't think straight. Why is he so desperate the talk to you, anyway?"

"Probably because I let him in on his part of the plan and he's excited to get started." I mumbled and immediately moved the phone from my ear.

Alice's loud shriek was completely predictable, and I was happy I moved the phone because that was a loud one.

"Oh my god! Why the fuck did he think I'd be willing to let him use my phone for that? But oh I'm so happy for you Bella! This is _huge._ Maybe it'll get Eddie to loosen up a bit too. Ahhh this is so exciting! My little babies are growing up!" She mock sniffled.

I decided to take the focus off of me for a moment.

"Charlie has a girlfriend. Her name is Kate. Me and Edward are meeting her Thursday. You're next after that." I said and quickly moved the phone again.

This time I was met by a loud "Holy mother of fuck!"

"That's what I thought, too. I'm happy for him, though. He deserves to be happy. It's been too long for him to be alone." I sounded like a proud parent.

"That's amazing. I didn't even know he was capable of it. How long have they been together?"

"I don't know… he didn't tell me." I frowned, having not noticed that until just now.

"Well Edward just walked by my room with Mom's phone. I'll let you go get your groove on with my brother. Ugh, gross. I'll let you go get it one with your faceless boyfriend." She rambled.

"Thank you, Alice. I miss you. We need to do something soon. Saturday, maybe?"

It really had been far too long since I'd had any girl time. Edward constantly stole me away from her.

"Definitely. We'll go shopping in Port Angeles so Edward can't steal you away. We have way too much to catch up on for that."

"Alright, I'll see you then. Later." I sighed.

As much as I wanted to talk to Edward, I didn't want to stop talking to Alice. We hadn't had a real conversation in what felt like weeks. That wasn't okay.

"See you Saturday."

I could hear the smile in her voice. She was just as excited as I was. I'd have to try and see her before Friday. I was only Tuesday. Maybe we could do something as a group tomorrow.

I hung up and my phone rang again right away, and I answered.

I went and turned on my laptop. I was making a new ringtone now and nothing was going to stop me.

"Why the hell would you let Emmett touch your beloved phone when he just lost a bet?" I chuckled into the phone.

"I didn't let him, he took it without my permission." He sounded heartbroken. His phone was his baby. And now it was his dead baby.

_A dead baby joke, Bella? Really?_

"That poor phone. How long until you get a new one?"

"Hopefully tomorrow. My poor baby. It's shattered."

I could hear the frown in his voice.

"Cheer up. You can just get an even better phone, now."

"Hmm. I guess. So, Charlie's got a girlfriend, now?"

"Yeah, finally. It only took, like what? Five years? It's good for him, though. It'll distract him from my devious plots to take over the world, one small town at a time." I said casually.

"You're insane. You know that, right?" Edward chuckled.

"That's why you love me, though. My insanity adds an air of mystery to my presence."

"Yeah, yeah. If you insist."

"So, I'm lying here, in my big comfy bed, all alone." I said in what I hoped was a sexy voice.

I heard Edward choke, probably on air, for half of a second before he responded.

"Oh, yeah?" he whispered in a husky voice.

"Yeah. It's kind of chilly. I wish I had someone here to keep me warm."

"I'd keep you warm."

I think he was mildly in shock that this was actually happening. Or that I was the one who initiated it. I brought him to a level of pure stupidity.

_Score: Bella- 1, Edward- 0._

"How would you do that, Edward?" I asked, my new ringtone long forgotten until I glanced at the laptop and decided it could, indeed, wait.

"I'd strip us both down, first. It's easier to share body heat that way, you know?"

"And then what?" I asked, slowly unbuttoning my black blouse with one hand.

_Holy crap this was way hotter than anyone gave it credit for._

"I'd start with those perfect breasts of yours. How would you like me to warm those up for you, love?"

"With your mouth, please." I moaned, finally undoing the last button and stripping out of my shirt and quickly following suit with my bra.

Was that even my voice? I didn't sound like me.

"Touch your breasts, love. I bet they'd taste good, too. Like your mouth, but saltier. Mmm baby, I love the way you taste."

I did as he asked, kneading and groping, for lack of a better word, each of them equally, paying special attention to my nipples. I moaned gently.

"You like that, baby?"

"God, yes." I groaned.

By its own volition my hand started making its way south.

"I need more, Edward."

"What do you need, love?" Edward moaned breathlessly.

"I need your fingers in my pussy." I begged.

"Shit." I heard Edward gasp. "If I was there, you'd have that."

I groaned, trying to be quiet for Charlie's sake.

"Touch yourself, Bella."

"Where?" I asked, teasing him.

"Touch your pussy, baby. Are you wet?"

I did as instructed, snaking my hand under my sweatpants. I gasped at the feeling as I touched my hypersensitive clit.

"I'm so wet."

I dipped my middle finger into the wetness before returning it to my clit.

"God, Bella. I love you." Edward moaned.

"What are you doing, Edward? Are you stroking your cock?"

"Yes." He whispered, sounding breathless.

"Imagine your hand is my mouth."

"Holy fuck." He gasped.

I rubbed my clit a little faster.

_God, it felt so good._

"Oh god, Edward. I'm so close."

"Ugh me to, love."

I groaned louder than I should have when my orgasm hit me.

"Shit, Edward." I said breathlessly.

"Fucking hell, Bella I'm coming." Edward nearly yelled in my ear.

I was shot.

"People don't give that enough credit." I said, gasping for air.

"Holy fuck, Bella. That was amazing." He gasped back.

I jumped about a mile and a half and dropped my phone when Charlie knocked.

"Yeah?" I yelled to him, rushing to pull a t-shirt over my head.

"Everything okay in there? It sounded like you hurt yourself." He called into me.

"Oh, yeah I just… dropped a textbook on my foot. I'm fine."

Fine? Try fucktastic.

"Alright. Goodnight."

"Night."

I waited until I heard his footsteps and his door before I picked up my phone.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"You woke Charlie up?" He asked, borderline hysterical.

"Oh my god. That was so embarrassing." I couldn't help but chuckle with him.

I needed to learn how to control myself.

It took a few moments for us to calm down. When we finally did, I couldn't help but miss his presence. I wanted to curl up next to him, like a normal couple.

I sighed longingly.

"What's the matter, love?" "I want you here. I want to be normal."

I could seem running his hand through his hair and over his face.

"I have to, uh, clean up here. I can be there in 10. Think Charlie will be asleep by then?"

"It doesn't matter. He'd let you stay anyway."

"I'll see you in a few minutes, then. I love you."

"I love you, too. Hurry up. Try for five." I smiled.

I hung up and went to the bathroom to clean myself up, too, bringing a new pair of panties. And one of Edward's sweatshirts, and a pair of his sweatpants that he didn't know I'd taken. They looked like they were swallowing me whole, but they were just so comfy.

It took me until I was back in my bed to realize something.

_I did it. __On the first shot,_ I thought feeling a huge swell of pride.

I laid on my back completely blessed out until I heard a gentle knock on my bedroom door a few minutes later. I rolled over as Edward opened the door with the same goofy grin I was sure I was currently sporting.

"Hey." He whispered.

I shifted so I was laying the correct way on my bed. He climbed on next to me, immediately planting a big exaggerated kiss on my lips and wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so proud of you, love." He whispered into my hair.

I pulled back and looked at his brightened features. He was absolutely beaming and I could see the pride in his eyes. I hadn't even realized I was starting to cry until he wiped a tear of my cheek with his thumb.

I could feel the grin on my face.

"By the way, that's a nice hood. I've been looking for it for weeks." He joked and then took in my bottom half, "And my sweatpants? Really?"

"It's not my fault your clothes are comfier than mine." I said innocently.

"Yeah, yeah." He chuckled.

I simply snuggled my face into his chest. He rolled onto his back and pulled me into his side.

"I did it." I whispered, feeling the surge of pride again.

"I know, love."

"It really was amazing."

"Good. I was aiming for that." He said, with the smile audible in his voice.

I let out a little girlish giggle. Only Edward could reduce me to that.

He suddenly shifted onto his side. I grumbled incoherently when my head hit the mattress until he gently lifted my chin to look into my eyes. His hand moved to brush a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I gasped at the look in his eyes. They were dark and hungry.

"Bella," he whispered, "I love you. So much."

He didn't give me a chance to respond before his mouth was pressed to mine and his tongue was begging for entrance to my mouth. I allowed it, kissing him back just as passionately as he was kissing me. My hands wound into his hair while one of his did the same. The other rested on my hip. I felt the tight, burning sensation in my lower abdomen and the rush of wetness between my thighs. I was falling apart in his arms, from a kiss.

I moaned into his mouth before pulling back, gasping for air. I definitely wasn't ready to be done, but I needed to breathe. I took a deep breath and dove right back in. His hand moved to my ass and I made a mental note that I didn't even flinch.

I was getting better.

"Edward." I moaned against his lips.

He grunted in response and his hand slid up my side, to my mid-back. He pulled me closer and I rested my leg on top of his. His hand immediately moved to my thigh and hitched my leg over his hip.  
I felt him freeze until he realized I definitely wanted to keep going. We were all clashing teeth and tongues. I ground my hips into his feeling desire rather than fear when I felt his erection. With that realization, I ground harder.

Edward growled, and the next thing I knew I was on my back, with him settled comfortably between my legs, holding himself so I could feel every inch of him pressed against me, without feeling much of his weight. He pulled away for a moment and I was left gasping for air again.

"Is this okay?" He whispered, short of breath.

I nodded and pulled his mouth back to mine. I wrapped my leg around his back, rubbing against him again. I _needed _the friction. For the first time, he moved with me. It felt amazing. It was WAY better than anything my imagination could come up with.

I moaned loudly into his mouth and then felt his lips turn up in a triumphant smile against mine.

_Like he needed the ego boost._

I wrapped my other leg around his hips and pulled him closer.

"Faster." I whispered, teetering on an edge that I was beyond ready to tumble over.

"Shit, Bella." He moaned and complied.

I had a feeling he was taking his sweatpants back for the night.

The tightening in my lower abdomen seemed to come from out of nowhere. I came completely undone, moaning into his mouth and writhing at his every movement.

It was bliss.

He sped up a little more, and ground a little harder, dragging my orgasm out longer and spurring his own.

The look of sheer pleasure on his face combined with the guttural moan was the most beautiful moment of my life.

He collapsed partially on top of me, breathing heavily.

"Holy fuck." I gasped.

My cheeks hurt from the size of the grin on my face. I looked over to where Edwards face was only inches from mine. His eyes were tightly shut and his face had a light sheen from the sweat that accumulated there during our… activities. I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.

"Not yet." He whispered.

I was more than happy to stay where I was. I rolled to face him. I placed my hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes.

"Thank you." I whispered and kissed him lightly.

"For what?" He asked with a smirk playing at his lips.

"Everything." I murmured.

"I like giving you everything." He pointed out, nuzzling his face into my neck, placing light kisses there, "I love you and I always will, Isabella Marie Swan. You're my past, present, and future. I'll never need anything else, so long as I have you. You _are _my life."

My heart absolutely melted. He always knew the right thing to say.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Cullen. More than you'll ever know."

* * *

**See? You get more progress (dry humping FTW!) when I take longer. However, with my first semester of college having just started, I'm done with promising faster updates. If it can't happen, then it can't. Just be happy I'm not big on leaving you guys at suspenseful moments.**

**Review like you're getting paid to do it. Tell me how bad I suck at phone sex and how awesome Charlie acting like a fat female cop is :)**


	18. Das Boot, Yaks, and Kate

**What's this? I got more than one chapter out in a week? WHAT! Alert the media! The world is ending! And insomnia is kicking my ass! Yay insomnia!**

**Seriously, I have insomnia. It's 9:25 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. ~Now 9:50 and I already fixed a few typos. Note to self: Proofread _before_ posting. Even if you have been up all night.**

**On with the chapter!**

**_Disclaimer: I was half asleep writing this. I apologize in advance if it doesn't make sense at any point. I invented "Hot Coffolate" while writing this. That's hot chocolate made with coffee instead of water/milk. However, I did not invent the Twilight Saga, Beerfest, or any other recognizable material in this story. The dream is all me though. I had that exact dream four nights ago. I'm the proud owner of some whacked out dreams._**

* * *

"Faster, Edward." I ordered.

"I can't go faster!" He complained, out of breath.

"I don't care you need to stir faster or the cream won't whip!"

"Why can't you use canned frosting like a normal person?" He complained, giving up.

What he didn't know, was that there was a hand mixer in the cabinet right in front of him. That cream could have been whipped 20 minutes ago. I burst out laughing.

It was Thursday and we were meeting Kate today. I was making Grandma Swan's chocolate cake. With the fresh whip cream frosting she used. Of course I used to opportunity to make Edward suffer a little. It was for a good cause, though. Watching his bicep contract and relax in the sleeve of his t-shirt was mesmerizing. He was beautiful.

"Because this is the way my Grandma used to do it and I'm following her recipe. Get out of my way, I'll do it." I grumbled, pushing him to the side.

When I reached up to the cabinet pulling out the hand mixer, his face was priceless.

"Oh, did I forget to point this out? Go shower. You're a mess." I giggled.

He looked dumbfounded.

"Really, Balls? I could have used that? I just wasted 20 minutes of my life for no reason?"

"Quit bitching. It was not for no reason. I got a good show out of it." I grinned, "It's hot watching you work."

I gave up on the whipped cream for the time being and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his warm waist. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you." I smiled up at him, and then kissed his chest, right over his heart.

"I love you, too. You're still cruel, though." He said, with a huge grin on his face.

Little moments like these were perfect. I loved them.

"Seriously, though. You're dirty. Go shower." I pushed him towards the hallway.

"Ouch, babe. I feel unwanted." He joked.

I simply rolled my eyes at him and picked up the hand mixer.

He spent all of 10 minutes in the shower and by the time he was done the cake was frosted and in the fridge, the chicken parmesan was in the microwave to keep it warm, and the water for the pasta was almost boiling. Which is more than got done in the entire half hour that he was here.

"Everything smells amazing, Bells." He suddenly whispered in my ear, while wrapping his arms around me from behind.

I jumped.

"Thanks. Can you handle the pasta while I shower?" I asked, giggling.

"I guess. Hurry, though. They should be here soon."

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!" I yelled back to him. I was already half way up the stairs.

I really was hurrying.

I didn't even wait for the water to heat up for my shower. I hopped in, washed my hair, shaved my underarms and got out. I speed dried my hair, half assed straightening it, leaving it wavy, and just put on some eyeliner and got dressed in dark ripped jeans and a red sweater. I ran downstairs and Edward was just draining the pasta. I really booked it.

"Seriously? I was that fast?" I asked.

I apparently scared Edward because he jumped.

"Yeah, you were that fast, Bells. You look great." He smiled.

"Good." I set the table at super speed and got everything in serving dishes just as Charlie pulled into the driveway; he'd gone to pick her up like it was a real date. It made me smile. And then I kicked the floor and hyperextended my ankle a little. It hurt a lot. I didn't let it get to me, though.

Edward was dumbfounded again.

"I've never seen you move so fast without hurting yourself." Edward chuckled.

I bit my lip to keep from showing any pain in my face. Apparently I failed.

"Shit, Bella. DID you hurt yourself?" Edward asked as the door opened.

I tried to take a step towards the door, but yelped in pain as soon as I put weight on my right ankle. Fuck.

"Charlie, Bella hurt herself." Edward called out, just before they walked into the dining room.

"Really, Bella?" Charlie asked.

I ignored him and focused on the woman standing next to him that must be Kate. She was pretty. She had dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. Her face was young and happy looking, even though she had a frown on her face, probably at Charlie's reaction to the news of me hurting myself. She flinched when I hopped to her.

"You must be Kate. I'm Bella." I tried to look friendly and smile, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a grimace. I was in a lot of pain.

She held out her hand and I shook it.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Bella. I'm assuming the stories of you being excessively clumsy are true, then?"

I laughed. If this isn't a facade, I would definitely be getting along with this woman.

"You don't even know."

"Bella, are you alright? You look like you're bout to cry." Edward intervened.

"I'm fine, Edward." I said without turning around. It would hurt too much.

"Bella." Charlie frowned. "What'd you do?"

"I just kicked the floor and hyperextended my ankle and it's pretty much on fire but I almost guarantee it's just a sprain. Trust me, I'm a pro at this." I smiled through the pain, "Kate, this is my boyfriend Edward."

"It's nice to meet you." Edward shook her hand and gave her that devastating smile I love so much.

I laughed on the inside as I watched her melt at the hands of Edward, like so many before her. Charlie scowled.

"Holy crap, Bella." Kate mumbled.

I lost it. I laughed on the outside, too. So did Edward, and Charlie.

"Yeah, he has that effect on people when he wants to." I said through my laughter.

"The food's getting cold, let's eat." Charlie suggested.

Of course he was hungry.

Edward helped me over to a chair and immediately knelt in front of me, lightly picking up my right leg and rolling my jeans up. I gaped. My poor ankle wasn't even an ankle anymore. It was just another part of my leg. A very purple part of my leg. Maybe it wasn't just a sprain.

"I think I should take you to my dad, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. I knew he was right, and he'd get his way in the end, but it could wait until after we ate. I didn't need to move.

"Probably. You can take me after we eat. I'm hungry. I just won't get up at all."

He nodded and Charlie walked around the table to have a look. He did that "that's impressive in a bad way" whistle that people do.

"Good job, Bells." He chuckled.

"I've had worse." I joked.

It was a little less funny when Charlie and Edward flinched, but at least Kate thought it was funny.

Dinner passed with everyone, including me complimenting my cooking and proceeding to get to know each other better.

Kate asked Edward and I about our college plans/career goals. Edward wants to go to school for music, probably at UW and I want to go for marketing, probably at UW.

Kate went to UW and fully supported our decisions to go there. Charlie supported it because I'll be within a few hours drive of Forks. He's already getting sad about me leaving and I haven't even applied anywhere yet.

I learned Kate has two sisters named Tanya and Irina, with two kids each. All of whom Charlie has met before.

Charlie was forced to clean up because Edward wouldn't let me get up.

"I'm not completely useless." I complained.

"Babe, I'm not letting you walk on that ankle until I know for a fact it's not broken." Edward said with a sense of finality in his tone that I didn't dare to mess with.

"He's right, Bella. If it's broken, walking on it would only make you need surgery. That means needles and hospitals." Charlie added, with a huge grin.

He laughed when my eyes got huge. He knows how afraid of hospitals and needles I am.

"You shouldn't make fun of her for that, Charlie. Remember how hard you cried when they gave you that tents shot last summer after you stepped on the nail in the backyard?" Kate scolded.

I started cracking up. I loved her. She was a keeper.

"Charlie," I gasped through my laughter, "Keep her. She's badass."

Edward was laughing with me, and Kate joined in, too while Charlie grumbled away in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher.

After the madness died down, Edward left to the living room to call his dad and find out if he was working or not, leaving me alone with Kate.

"So, Bella, I just wanted to say I'm not trying to take-"

I cut her off.

"Please, take the place of my mother. You're way cooler. I like you. You don't get a big long speech about whatever kids usually feel about their dad's new girlfriend. Just don't hurt him, and all will be cool." I said with a genuine smile on my face.

Clearly, she knows nothing about the Renee situation.

Edward walked back in the room.

"Carlisle's working so we're going to have to go to the hospital, but he promises to get it done as fast as possible." He explained, looking apologetic.

I shrugged.

"It's all good. Are we waiting until after dessert or are you dragging me away now?"

"Now. We shouldn't be more than an hour or so."

He was about to pick me up.

"No! Wait, go up to my room, in my closet on the left all the way against the wall I have my crutches. I can use those."

He rolled his eyes and picked me up anyway.

"Dammit, Edward."

"Are they always like this?" Kate asked.

"They've been like this since they were three." Charlie smiled, shaking his head as Edward headed for the door.

"We'll be back in a little while. If not, it was nice to meet you, Kate!" I yelled from the entry way.

"Open the door, Bella."

I did.

Then I pouted the whole way to the hospital.

As promised, Carlisle was waiting out front of the ER with a wheelchair and a smile.

I opened the door and Carlisle helped me into the chair.

"I wish I could say this is a surprise, but honestly, I think it's overdue. It's been what, almost two years since you've been here?" He chuckled, wheeling me into the ER while Edward parked the car.

"Yeah, it's been a while. I still don't think it's broken, though. It just hurts a lot." I joked.

Carlisle brought me right back to the X-ray room and got that taken care of.

"I'll go get Edward from the waiting room. He'll be here in a minute," Carlisle said, about to walk out of the room.

I felt myself stiffen. I could do hospitals when I'm not alone, but if I'm alone for any amount of time, I lose it.

"On second thought," He mumbled to himself, "Tanya, can you go get my son from the waiting room." He stopped a passing nurse.

She looked vaguely familiar. She had strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes. Then I remembered Kate's sister's name was Tanya.

"Does she have a sister named Kate?" I asked, probably surprising Carlisle.

"Do I even want to know how you knew that?" He asked.

"Kate, Charlie's girlfriend that nobody knew about was over. She mentioned having a sister named Tanya and they look a little alike." I explained.

"Only you would notice something like that right now, Bella." He smiled, as Edward walked into the room.

"She looked familiar." Edward pointed out after Tanya left.

I looked at Carlisle and started laughing.

"Alright, I have a couple patients to check on really quickly and then I'll go have look at your X-rays. I should be back in about fifteen minutes." Carlisle smiled at us and left.

"Did I miss something?"

"Tanya is Kate's sister."

"No shit?" Edward laughed. "Small world."

I nodded and moved over on the bed to make room for him. He came immediately to me side and wrapped and arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Are you in a lot of pain, love?"

"Not really. It would be a lot of pain to other people, but not for me." I grinned.

He rolled his eyes and kissed my forehead.

We sat in a comfortable silence. He rand his fingers through the ends of my hair, and rested his cheek on the top of my head.

Exactly fifteen minutes later Carlisle walked back in holding my X-ray with a confused look. He popped the X-ray in the light box and switched it on.

"It's not broken, I don't think. But there is what looks like it could be a fracture, but it might not be." He said, still looking confused.

I laughed.

Carlisle frowned and sat in the chair next to the bed. He gingerly took my ankle.

"Flex."

I tried. It moved, but it hurt so I stopped.

"Point your toes."

Same thing.

"Wiggle your toes."

Same thing.

"I need to send you for an MRI. You could have partially torn ligaments. It'll also say whether or not that's a fracture or nothing to worry about. I'll send a nurse in for you as soon as I can."

I sighed. We'd be here for a while.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Charlie.

"What's the verdict?" He answered on the first ring.

"We don't know yet. Carlisle's sending me for an MRI." I frowned.

Edward's arm tightened around my shoulders.

"How did you even pull this one off, Bella?" Charlie chuckled.

"I kicked the floor and hyperextended my ankle." I chuckled.

Even I could admit it was one of those funny things that only I would be able to do.

"I need to put you in a padded cell somewhere. How long do you think until you're back?"

"It'll be a long time and by the time I'm back I'll be drugged up. I might stay at Edward's. You know how I get on pain meds and the more people to keep me in line the better." I joked.

I looked to Edward to see if it was okay. Judging by the grin he had, it was fine.

Last time I was on pain medication, I fell down the stairs four times, and decided it was a good idea to go streaking. I do what I can _not _to take them.

"That's a good idea, actually. I have an early shift tomorrow."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, then. There's a cake in the fridge if you guys want some. It's Grandma's recipe."

"You're the best, Bells. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Dad."

"Bye."

I hung up and groaned into Edward's shoulder.

"I know, Bella. He'll get you out of here as soon as he can."

I nodded.

About half an hour later, Tanya walked in with a wheelchair.

"Bella Swan?" She asked with a big friendly smile.

"That would be me." I smiled back.

I sat up and she brought the chair closer to the bed. Edward and her both helped me into it.

"Alright, we'll get this MRI done as fast as possible. Now I have to ask. Are you Charlie's daughter?"

I giggled while she wheeled me, with Edward walking next to us.

"I am. Are you Kate's sister?"

"I am." She answered, matter of factly.

"I like Kate. She's very nice. She makes Charlie happy."

"Good. She's a great person. Do you have any metal on you other than the button on your jeans?"

I nodded and handed Edward my phone and the ring I was wearing.

I was a pro at MRI's. I'd had about 7 of them.

"Have you had an MRI before?"

"I've had seven. I know exactly what to expect." I sighed.

"Oh wow. That's more than most old people we get here." She joked.

"Yeah. I fall down more than your average elder." I joked back.

We reached the room and Edward had to wait outside.

I spent the next thirty seven minutes laying as still as I possibly could, doing my best to ignore the fact that I was alone in the room.

I closed my eyes and zoned out.

Next thing I knew, Tanya was back in the room with the wheelchair.

We made small talk on the way back to the room, where Carlisle was waiting for us with his dinner and a soda for each of us.

"I hope everything went well." He greeted us, discreetly looking me over for any sign on panic.

I sent him a quick smile and he relaxed a little.

"It was fine." I assured him.

After a minute Tanya left to check on another patient.

I glanced at the hospital food and chuckled.

"What?" Carlisle asked.

"That stuff barely counts as food. I should have brought you some of the chicken parmesan I made. I didn't even think of it."

"It was so good, Dad. You're really missing out." Edward agreed.

"The hospital food is just fine… somedays." Carlisle defended his place of work.

We all laughed.

"So, any horror stories in the ER tonight? Other than serious ankle injuries from kicking floors?" I asked.

"Well, we had one…" Carlisle trailed off, reluctant to tell us.

"Oh come on, Dad. Tell us, please." Edward pouted.

"Edward you're 17. Stop pouting. I'll tell you."

"Why would I stop if it still gets me what I want?"

"I taught him well." I added.

"It's all your fault, Bella." Carlisle joked, shaking his head.

"Oh well, on with the horror story, please."

"Well, there was a girl, and no nothing you can do will get the name out of me. I can tell you she wasn't from around here, though. Anyway, turns out she was masturbating with a frozen hot dog and it melted and uh, broke inside of her. She couldn't get it out on her own."

I nearly died. I was laughing so hard that I didn't even realize Edward was laughing, too. Almost right away we both had tears running freely down our faces, until I accidentally moved my ankle the wrong way.

"Ow stupid mother fucker!" I yelped and immediately covered my mouth.

I slowly glanced at Carlisle. He was trying not to laugh. Edward laughed a little harder.

"Are… you o-..okay?" He got out in gasps.

I nodded and frowned.

_Dick._

"Do you want something for the pain, Bella?" Carlisle asked, halfway in doctor mode, halfway in 'Ha this girl I've known since she was born just swore in front of me and thought I'd be mad' mode.

"If you want my clothes to stay on, and my balance to be at least at it's usual level, you'll want to wait until I'm about to leave for that." I muttered.

He gave me a questioning look.

"Last time I was on anything stronger than tylenol, I fell down the stairs a few times and decided to go streaking. I can be a bit of a handful." I explained.

Carlisle looked horrified, Edward just started cracking up again.

"Seriously?" Carlisle asked.

"Seriously. I'm staying with Alice tonight. She, of all people, should be able to keep up with me."

"I certainly hope so." He chuckled.

The next hour was filled with small talk while Carlisle was on break.

"You're results should be done by now. I'll go check them out." Carlisle said, leaving the room.

"Will you streak to my room tonight?" Edward asked.

"If I have to." I sighed.

We both started laughing.

"Besides, we both know I'll already be in your room so it doesn't matter."

"Fair enough."

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Carlisle was taking a picture of Edward and I all cuddled up on the hospital bed.

"What time is it?" I grumbled, waking Edward up with a pike to the side.

"It's about eleven. MRI results take forever." Carlisle grumbled right back.

He looked like he'd been sleeping, too. Poor Carlisle. I could never be a doctor. Forget the gross things that would make me pass out, just the hours are enough to scare me away.

"And?" Edward prompted.

"Well, it's a fracture. And you have a compound grade three sprain. Of three ligaments. I swear, Bella. You're the only one that could ever do this much damage to their ankle by accidentally kicking a floor."

"She was running pretty fast when she did it." Edward mentioned.

"It was bound to happen. Bad things come from me running. You know that." I joked.

"There is good news, too. Do you want that?"

"Please."

I noticed he was holding something behind his back. He pulled out a boot. Sorry, a walking cast. I call them boots.

"You can walk on it. However, this thing might mess with your balance a little. Which is highly dangerous and I suggest keeping someone around because you'll probably fall a lot." Carlisle grinned.

_Fucker._

I frowned.

"Alright, roll up your pant leg." Carlisle ordered.

Edward did it for me.

"I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself."

"So, the rules with this, you have to keep it elevated when you aren't walking. You can take it off to sleep and to shower, that's it. Other than the shower _do not _walk on it because if you do, it could get worse and then you'll need surgery. Also, since it's your right ankle, no driving until this is off. And to keep the boot from smelling, wear a sock. Got it?" Carlisle explained while securing the boot that went to about mid calf on my leg.

"Yes, sir!" I saluted him military style.

He rolled his eyes.

"Wait for Tanya to come back. She'll have your pain meds and then you guys can go once Bella takes them."

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"No problem, Bella. I'll check on you in a couple hours when I get home." He smiled and walked out of the room.

"I told you it was broken." Edward grinned.

"Actually, douche, a break and a fracture are different."

"No they aren't."

"They so are."

Tanya came in with my pain meds that I probably didn't really need, but I knew I'd regret not taking them if I didn't, so I did.

"Looks like you're free to go. Have a nice night, guys."

"Wait! Tanya. I have a question." Edward stopped her.

"Yes?"

"Is a break different from a fracture?"

"Of course it is."

"I told you so." I grinned, rubbing it in his face.

Edward rolled his eyes, and picked up my extra shoe and gave my phone back. He wrapped an arm around my waist, preparing himself to catch me every time I fell. I texted Charlie. He probably wouldn't know how to read it, but I had no doubt that Kate was still there and she seemed tech savvy enough to do it.

_It's a fracture ~B_

I tripped four times before we even got out of the ER. Edward caught me every time.

"I love you, Edward." I smiled up at him.

The meds were kicking in.

"I love you, too, Bella."

He got me into the car without incident.

"Edwarrrrd."

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry. Can I eat you? You look delicious."

Why was he laughing at me?

"Bells, if you eat me, who's going to catch you when you fall?"

"Matthew Gray Gubler."

"Who?"

"Dr. Reid from Criminal Minds. He's a sexy dork."

He was frowning. He's even pretty when he frowns. I told him as much.

"Thanks Bella. It's good to be one of the pretty people."

"It is, isn't it? It's so much easier to get what you want."

I started taking my sweater off.

"Bella? What are you doing?" Edward chuckled as he pulled into the long drive that leads to his house.

"Taking my sweater off. Can I sleep naked tonight? I'm sleepy."

"That would be a bad idea, love. How about I give you a t-shirt and some sweatpants instead?"

Why didn't I think of that?

"That's good. Can I have a purple elephant named Phyllis?"

"Sure." Edward laughed as he pulled up to the house.

Esme was waiting by the door.

I opened the door and tried to run. Emmett was in my way. When did he get there?

"Emmett get out of my way! I want to hug Esme." I whined.

"You're not allowed to run, munchkin." He laughed and picked me up, carrying me to Esme.

"Esme! I love you." I said giving her a huge hug.

"I love you, too Bella." She chuckled.

I saw a little flash of black.

"Alice! I love you." I said, hugging her too.

"What is she o- Bella what the hell happened to your foot?"

"She fractured her ankle." Edward explained coming up to the door.

"I want a penguin." I thought outlaid

"I don't get any love?" Emmett asked.

"Of course not. You were in my way." I frowned.

"Come on, Bella. It's bedtime." Edward said, helping me towards the stairs.

"I love all of you except Emmett!" I called behind me.

"Hey! That's mean, Bella!" He yelled out to me.

"I'm kidding. I love you Emily!" I called back to him.

"My name isn't Emily!"

"Yes it is!"

Edward picked me up, bridal style and carried me to his room. He got me a shirt and pants and helped me change into them. He took the boot off and helped me into bed before changing into a pair of sweatpants and taking shirt off and climbing in next to me.

Shirtless Edward in one of my favorite Edwards.

Then I frowned.

"If you don't have to wear a shirt, then why do I?" I asked. "That is such a double standard."

"I know. But for my own self control, you need to keep your shirt on."

"Fine."

I must have fallen asleep because all of the sudden I was surrounded by a beautiful mountainside. The sun was shining, and there were wild flowers and a small stream. And then there were fifteen llamas and a yak. The yak started singing "Yakity Yak" by the Coasters. The llamas joined in for the "don't talk back" line.

I jolted awake, incredibly confused.

I was laying across Edward, missing the shirt I fell asleep in, but not my undershirt or bra. I was literally sideways, my stomach was over his lower back and my head was barely still on the bed.

My jolt must have woken him up.

"Bella? You alright? And where the fuck did your shirt go? And do I even want to know how you ended up like that?" He started cracking up, trying to look over his shoulder.

I felt drool on the side of my face and my hair had to have been a mess.

I laughed, too.

I glanced at the clock. It was 9:30.

"I'm cold, Edward." I complained.

"Get under the blanket. And don't put weight on your right ankle." He laughed.

"I need a shirt." I said, glancing around the room.

I couldn't find the one he'd given me.

"Where's the one I gave you? He asked.

"I have no idea… I don't see it anywhere…"

We just looked at each other and laughed.

"I can see why you try to avoid hardcore pain meds."

"It's a necessary thing for me. I seriously need a shirt, though."

"Get up and I'll get you one." He chuckled, shaking his head, "Only you, Bella."

"I know." I agreed, moved, cuddling under the blankets, not sideways anymore.

A few seconds later, he came back with another shirt. It was his old baseball shirt from freshman year. The last year he played.

It had his name across the back.

"You still have this thing?" I asked holding it up.

"Of course. It should fit you like one of your shirts."

"Very true." I agreed, pulling it over my head.

He got back in his bed and I cuddled up next to him, using his chest as a pillow. I listened to his heart for a few minutes.

"I was thinking I'd take you to Port Angeles tonight. We can do dinner and a movie." Edward suggested.

"That'd be great. Alice isn't allowed to pick my shoes."

"Are you ready to get up?"

"I guess. I'd rather just stay right here all day. You're comfy."

I smiled when I felt the vibration from him laughing.

"As much as I'd love to, we're supposed to hang out with Emmett today. I'm assuming you want to go home and get ready."

I nodded into his chest.

Emmett was leaving in three days. I was going to miss his goofy ass.

There was a knock on the door.

"Are you guys decent?" Alice called in.

"Yeah, Alice." Edward called back.

She walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You two are so adorable. Anyway. I hear you guys are going out tonight. I need to take Bella to get her ready."

"I don't want to get up. My ankle hurts."

"Oh well. You're getting up."

Ten minutes later I was walking down the stairs, one at a time. It was taking forever. It took five minutes to get down them and another two to reach the kitchen.

"Bella.. How's your ankle?" Carlisle asked with his cup of coffee and a big smile.

"It hurts. And no, I don't want pain meds again." I said, probably looking horrified.

"Do I even want to know why you have that look on your face? You were fully dressed and asleep when I got home last night."

"Was I wearing one of Edward's shirts?" I asked, sitting at the table.

"Yeah… Not the one you have on now, though."

"I woke up with out it. It's completely missing. And I was sideways across his back. And I dreamt of a singing yak with fifteen llamas as a backup band."

"That's why you looked so confused when you woke up?" Edward asked, cracking up.

"No more hydrocodine for you, Bella." Carlisle laughed.

Everyone was borderline hysterical. Even Esme. I joined the laughter because it was really priceless.

"Charlie would be so proud." Alice squealed.

I sat there glaring at the boot. For some reason I started thinking about _Beerfest_.

"I'm naming the cast." I said to no one in particular.

"What are you naming it?" Emmett asked.

"Das Boot." I grinned.

Edward and Emmett started laughing while Esme, Alice, and Carlisle looked dumbfounded.

They didn't know the movie.

"It's from a movie."

There was some eye rolling, and then food was on the table.

It was mostly quiet while we ate aside from the odd comment here and there.

As soon as I finished, Alice was dragging me out of the house to her porsche.

I just hoped Charlie and Kate were either gone or decent… Charlie did mention having an early shift, but he's been pulling that excuse a lot lately.

"Bella. What are you guys doing later?"

"Dinner and a movie, Alice. Can you not take forever, though. We're supposed to spend the day with Emmett." I pouted.

"Fine."

"And you're not picking my shoes."

"I'm only letting that slip because of Das Boot."

"I know."

Charlie was pulling into the driveway at the same time we got to the house. He must have just brought Kate home.

"Good morning, Dad."

"Bella. Alice." He greeted us with a huge smile.

It was good to see him happy.

"Do I even want to know why you're wearing Edward's clothes? What kind of trouble did you get yourself into?"

"Well, I told everyone I loved them multiple times, except Emmett because he got in the way of me running to Esme. Which would have been a horrible idea. I went to bed with a shirt over my cami that was under my sweater, and woke up with the missing. Like, literally we can't find it anywhere. And I dreamt of a singing yak with 15 llamas as a backup band. I mostly stayed out of trouble, I think."

Charlie just stared.

"No more painkillers for you, Bells."

"That's exactly what Carlisle said." Alice started cracking up.

"Oh! And I named my cast 'Das Boot'."

"After the cup in Beerfest?"

"Yes!" I grinned.

"By the way, I got the shower first. I have work soon."

"Damn." Alice frowned.

"Alice, he literally takes, like, five minutes in the shower. It'll be fine." I joked.

Alice helped me up the porch steps, into the house, and up to my room, and set to work picking out my clothes.

* * *

**I certainly hoped you enjoyed this. I got like a bajillion new favorites/alerts for this after the last chapter. That made me seriously happy. Like, Alice bouncing up and down happy. It was lovely motivation to get this out sooner than my usual every three months updates. It helps that nothing in my life has gone to shit in the last few days, though. Although I was sick all week.**

**And no, my Tanya is not a home wrecking whore. And yes, Emmett is leaving us for college. He'll be home for Thanksgiving, though. I promise.**

**And Bella just had to injure herself. She went too long being clumsy and uninjured That's an injury I had back in April, by the way... I think I told you guys that already. Only I was supposed to use crutches. I didn't always use them. I also did it from kicking a kick ball. My ankle hurts as I type this. I win at injuries. Seriously. Who the hell gets hurt kicking a ball that's made to be kicked? I have. Twice. I destroyed my knee kicking a soccer ball.**

**Anyway, reviews are better than a singing yak with llamas for back up! And trust me, that's a pretty kick ass thing. You don't even know until you dream about it.**


	19. More frogs!

**Voila. I give you, chapter 18. It's kind of short. BOO ALLIE!**

****Important** Since I never tweet about my writing on my personal twitter account, I made a twitter dedicated to this. twitter/ARTAFanFic ~Follow that one if you want to know what's going on with the story. Like when certain chapters kick my ass, like this one did. The link is also on my profile.**

**And I've been feeling like writing another outtake for this. Anything you guys want to see from another POV, or something reminisced about in this chapter in full? Leave a review and ask. I enabled anonymous reviews because I didn't know they were disabled... I'm fully prepared for the people that will tell me how bad I suck at writing. I welcome the hate :)**

_**Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish I wrote the books, I don't own Twilight or any related material. I'm still not Stephanie Meyer, I'm still Allie the college freshman. I also don't own Labyrinth, Beerfest, American Pie, or any other recognizable material. I just like to play with all of it when I can't sleep.**_

* * *

I took my shower, shaving all the necessary parts and taking the time to ensure I rinsed all of the conditioner out of my hair. Alice was pounding on the door and the water had gotten cold by the time I finished. I rushed to dry off and hopped on one foot to Das Boot. I ran a comb through my hair quickly once my ankle was sufficiently stabilized. Alice hadn't picked my clothes yet when I got into the shower so I wrapped the towel tightly around myself and opened the door. I jumped when I saw Alice was still standing there, arms crossed and foot tapping.

"We have things to talk about, Bella." She huffed.

"We do? Are they things that can wait until I'm wearing more than a towel?"

She rolled her eyes and went to my room. I'm assuming she was getting my clothes. She handed them to me, telling me to hurry. I nodded and headed back into the bathroom to get dressed.

She'd given my a dark green sweater, skinny jeans and just plain underwear-since my ankle put me out of commission for now. I put everything on and then grimaced at the dark skinny jeans. I had no idea how I'd get them on without messing with my ankle. I gingerly took off Das Boot and slipped the jeans over my right foot as gently as I possibly could. I managed to only hurt myself twice. As soon as the jeans were far enough up my leg I put Das Boot back on and sighed in relief. At least until I had to take them off. That would be a whole new battle. I proceeded to do the skinny jean dance on one foot, not an easy task mind you. I hobbled back to my room where Alice was waiting, with all her various torture devices lined up on my dresser.

As always I sighed when I looked at the newly deep red walls. Charlie had made me paint over them. It took Edward and I four days just to cover the black with primer and another two to get the white to stop showing through the red. It was terrible.

"So, what do we have to talk about?" I asked her, hobbling to the chair she pointed at, with her back to me.

I frowned.

"Alice, is something wrong?" I asked cautiously.

"No, I'm just being hounded to hurry up from all angles. And I'm picking your shoe. I know the perfect one."

"Take your time, Tink. I'm sure whoever is telling you to hurry up will get over it. Now, again, what did you want to talk about?"

"Edward, of course." She pointed out, slightly less coldly.

"Of course. What do you want to know this time?"

"After he got Esme's phone? What happened?" She all but squealed.

She picked up the hair dryer and I didn't feel like yelling over it so I waited until she finished drying my hair. It didn't take long.

"Are you going to spill?" She asked, sounded exasperated.

"I didn't want to yell over the hairdryer." I mumbled.

I felt my face heating up.

"Come on, Bella. I know he left, presumably for here, in the middle of the night. What. Happened." She pushed while applying a tinted moisturizer to my face while her curling iron heated.

"Well, obviously there was no text messaging involved. If Esme found _that_? I can only imagine the fall out." I shuddered.

"Oh my god! You totally had phone sex!" She screamed.

I thanked every god to ever have been thought of that Charlie was working.

"Yes, we did."

"And?"

"It was amazing," I sighed, "I didn't even realize until afterwards that I didn't even flinch. I was completely okay. Better than okay, even."

Alice sounded like she was sighing in relief.

"Thank god. I thought something was wrong with the way he tore ass out of the house," She giggled. "I was worried I'd have to kick his ass for you."

"As sweet as that is, Alice, no ass kicking is necessary." I giggled with her.

"I feel like the story isn't over. Why did he come over afterwards? What happened when he got here? Please, please, _please _tell me there's more," She begged. "And close your eyes."

I did as she asked and felt her start applying eyeshadow.

"He came over afterwards because I missed him." I mumbled.

As expected, she 'aw'd'.

"That's so sweet," She sighed. "Open."

I did and she quickly put some eyeliner and mascara on me. I was more than capable of doing it myself, but it made her happy so I let her do her thing.

"I know." I felt the smile spread across my face.

I was fully aware of how good he was to me and I knew that I'd do what ever it took to keep him forever.

"So he came over and you guys just cuddled? After some crazy hot phone sex, that's all you guys did?"

My stupid blush gave me away. I would've been happy to let her think that.

"Something happened?" She squealed in a pitch that I was amazed I could hear.

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"Jesus, woman! Explain! Getting information out of you is like pulling teeth."

She started curling the ends of my hair while I explained.

"I don't even know how it started. I was so happy that I didn't freak out, and we were on my bed. Out of nowhere he told me he loves me—which is nothing new—and the look in his eyes… Oh my god they were smoldering. It was like something flipped a switch in me. I just _needed _him." I explained.

"Oh my god, Bella. Did you…?"

"No, no. All clothes stayed on. However, I can tell you that dry humping is a beautiful thing." I grinned, feeling the blush cover my face even more.

"And you were okay?" She asked concerned.

"Better than okay. I didn't even flinch."

"That's great Bella! I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah. And now I have a broken ankle to put me mostly out of commission. Figures."

She finished the final curl and unplugged the curling iron. She handed me a black boot that added about the same height that Das Boot did. It was comfortable and made me a lot less lopsided when I walked.

"I'll come back for this stuff later, let's go."

We made our way down to her car and she began driving.

"How are things with Jasper?"

"They're great. Really great." She sighed happily.

We continued to make small talk until we were pulling into the driveway.

I was excited since it had been a while since we all hung out together. I was also sad because we wouldn't get another opportunity like this until Thanksgiving. Emmett's next three days would be full of Rosalie and packing.

Alice had gotten him a going away gift for his dorm. She didn't know that I snuck a stuffed frog into it while she wasn't paying attention. It was payback for singing in the cafeteria when I'd first come back. Rose's attempt never worked out. I know I told Charlie I wouldn't make him cry, but Jasper never got to actually see Emmett scared in action. Hearing the story just didn't do it justice.

We found Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward in the living room laughing quietly.

"I got you something, Emmett!" Alice said, effectively scaring Jasper.

I swear the boy is deaf. It's not like Das Boot was quiet.

Emmett's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"I love presents!"

"I'm sure you'll love this one. Alice always had good taste." I said, unable to hide my grin.

Edward gave one of those what-the-fuck-did-you-do looks as I sat next to him on the loveseat. I simply looked confused, and did a wonderful job. His eyes said he didn't buy it, though.

Alice handed Emmett the bag. He rushed to open it, pulling out the posters Alice had gotten him. The frog fell on the floor, so far unnoticed by Emmett. Alice glared at me, Rose rolled her eyes, and Edward nudged my side. When I turned to him he held his fist up and I bumped it.

"You dropped something." Jasper said, not knowing what he was about to unleash.

Emmett glanced around the bag in his lap to the offending toy on the floor, and froze.

"Alice. What is that? What the FUCK IS THAT ALICE?" Emmett got progressively louder.

"I don't know, I didn't put it in there, I swear!"

He was pushing himself into the back of the couch like he could hide in there. When he realized it wouldn't work his eyes started tearing up. Out of nowhere he jumped to his feet and jumped over the thing like it was the Bog of Eternal Stench and ran from the room before we could even turn our heads. Alice's presents were long forgotten on the floor.

When Rose got up to follow him, I stopped her.

"Rose, tell him payback's a bitch for me, please." I grinned.

"He'll have nightmares for a week now. Thanks."

"Anytime."

As she left the room, the four of us lost it. I hadn't laughed so hard in months.

"Dammit, Bella!" Alice giggled.

"I had to." I gasped through laughter.

Jasper was beside himself. It was the first time he ever got to see the epic meltdown caused by stuffed frogs.

I fell into Edward's side laughing.

A few minutes later we calmed down and I picked up my beloved George. I'd had him since I was 7 and he'd lived at Charlie's when I went to Phoenix.

"He's not coming back, is he?" Jasper asked.

"Until that frog is out of this house, he's not leaving his bedroom." Edward explained.

"Bring George to your car. This might be the last time I get to see Em for a while." I giggled.

Edward took the frog, chuckling, and did as I asked. Alice went to inform Emmett that the frog was removed and nobody was harmed, leaving me with Jasper.

"I take it that was your fault?" He asked.

"Of course. You had to see it. Just hearing the story doesn't do it justice."

"The story had nothing on that." He agreed.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I hate you." I heard Emmett from the door.

Jasper put his feet up and pulled Alice down next to him and Rose snagged the chair so on the love seat with me was the only empty seat. Emmett sat hesitantly. I immediately curled up to his arm.

"But Emmett. I thought we were going to have lots of little babies together. We were going to stick Rose with Edward. Remember? We planned it all." I pouted.

He couldn't hold back the laugh at the absurdity of my statement and he wrapped his big arm around me shoulders pulling me into him.

"You're insane, Bells. I can't hate you. You're a bitch, but I can't hate you."

"I know."

Edward walked back in the room and looked and Emmett and I funny.

"What the hell? Is this the whole me getting stuck with Rose plan again?"

"Shut up assface. You love me and you know it." Rose joked with a huge grin.

Edward shuddered.

I thought Jasper was going to die.

"Eh. I'm bored with you. I want Edward back." I joked, somehow gathering the super strength of hercules to push Emmett off the couch, leaving him completely dumbfounded on the floor.

"I knew you'd want me back. I'm irresistible. It's all the hair." Edward said, wagging his eyebrows at me.

I rolled my eyes as he sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Do you guys remember the time I told Bella and Alice that popping bubbles would make all their teeth fall out?" Emmett suddenly asked.

"That was the scariest moment of my life. I thought I'd grow up to be a Jack-O-Lantern."

"It didn't help that he kept blowing bubbles at you. And that he said they wouldn't grown back." Edward interjected.

"I remember we both cried every time a bubble popped on us for a month after that." Alice giggled.

"What about that time Rose told you the Easter Bunny was Hannibal Lector in disguise after we saw that movie when we were FAR too young for it?" Edward said to Emmett.

"That wasn't even close to funny." Emmett pouted.

"Are you kidding? You cried all night before Easter begging Mom and Dad to 'keep the demonic rabbit away'. It was almost as great as the frogs."

"There was nothing great about the frogs." Emmett insisted.

The rest of the afternoon was spent reminiscing about years past.

I could help but be a little sad while they talked about all the things I missed while in Phoenix with the devil reincarnated. I'd missed so many things.

I missed Alice's first kiss—she was caught by Esme, and apparently it was sloppy and gross. It was with Mike Newton, before he got all disgusting. I hadn't known that.

I missed Emmett with braces because he only had them for a short time.

I missed Edward streaking down W. Division Street on a dare, and getting caught by Charlie.

I missed Alice's disastrous first date with Jasper—he'd planned an outdoor picnic, still being used to Texas weather at the time.

I missed everything. I heard about them all over the phone, but it just wasn't the same.

Edward noticed my mood and kissed the top of my head and pulled me a little closer to him. I sighed and cuddled a little closer while Alice explained the time she accidentally hit Emmett in the balls with a baseball bat because he was standing too close. I was there for that. I laughed remembering how Alice cried more than Emmett because she felt so terrible about it.

At about three Alice and Jasper went out somewhere and the rest of us watched Emmett's favorite movie—American Pie.

I must have fallen asleep because all the sudden the tv was off, the lights were on, and Edward was talking to me.

"Bella, baby, it's time to get up. We have to get up. I'm taking you on our first date, remember?"

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**W. Division Street is a real street in Forks. I googled that shit.**

**The date will be the next chapter and I'll have it up as soon as I can.**

**Bring on the reviews! *insert hardcore football player grunt here* **

**Oh, and give me some ideas for an outtake. Edward streaking seems like a good one, no? ;)**


	20. What the fuck kind of idiot

**I feel like I've been writing a lot more recently. This chapter doesn't have the original ending. In the original Charlie got shot. I yelled at Bella for telling me that and she changed her mind. I should've said this at the end of the chapter, huh? Whoops!**

**ALSO: Incase any of you, aka all of you, ignored my last AN, I made a twitter dedicated to my stories. twitter/ARTAFanFic. Follow that account for teasers, updates, and general hilarity. Nobody's following that reads my stuff, yet. It makes me sad. I tweet like I have a thousand followers, anyway though.**

**I was super excited that I actually got a few reviews for the last chapter. It made me want to get this out faster. I was blown away by the number of favorites/alerts this story earned, too. I checked out some of the favorites lists this is on, and it's on lists with some of my favorites that are like, genius fics and it blows my mind that there are people who read such amazing fics and still think a fic like mine is good enough to read. Thank you ALL so much. Even to the readers that don't have me on any lists and don't review. I love every single one of you :)**

**Feel free to skip from this point on in AN land, unless you want to laugh at my terrible luck.**

**I got my first car on Friday. It's a 2000 VW New Beetle and it's green. I've ALWAYS wanted one. So I went to a Halloween party with my brother that night, and I was the DD. We drove my car, and him and his girlfriend decided they wanted Taco Bell on the way home at 3:30 am. They were closed, so we went to McDonalds instead. Getting on the highway to go back to my brother's apartment, there was a HUGE piece of metal in the road that I didn't see until I was just barely too close to miss it, so i swerved as much as I could. I hit it with my front driver's side tire. It blew the tire, dented my rim, and my side airbag went off. Within 12 hours of getting my first car. I have to pay $550 to get it fixed. Awesome, right? I've never even had an ALMOST accident before, and my first day with my own car I fuck shit up.**

_**Disclaimer: I'm still just a lowly college freshman, stealing Stephanie Meyer's characters and playing with them. I do not own any other recognizable material in this either. I suck like that.**_

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"When do I get to know where we're going?"

"When we get there. You know how much I love surprises." Edward smirked at me.

I frowned. I hated surprises and he knew it. I'd been trying to get an answer from him for nearly an hour.

He reached over the center console of his Volvo and held my hand in my lap, squeezing my fingers reassuringly.

"I promise you'll like it. It's even Alice _and_ Rosalie approved and you know how difficult that is to accomplish."

"That doesn't make me like surprises any more, Edward."

"I have a feeling you'll like this one." He smiled gently, throwing me a quick glance before looking back to the road.

We passed the sign welcoming us to Port Angeles and I sighed. There was no hope. I just had to accept that this was a surprise and it wasn't going to change. I hoped he didn't plan on spending too much. I loved him, but I hated how he spent so much on me. It made me uncomfortable.

"I see you over thinking over there, Bella. What's up?"

I grimaced.

"You didn't spend too much to this, did you? And you're not planning to either, I hope?"

"I promise, I didn't spend a dime." He said, squeezing my hand again.

"Okay."

I relaxed a little, but I was still nervous.

This was the first date I'd been on. Ever. I had no idea what to expect or how to act. God, I should have talked to Alice.

_Come on, Bella. This is _Edward._ You're with him every day. Why would today be any different?_

"Bella, stop."

"Stop what?" I asked, distracted.

"Thinking. Are you nervous?" He asked, starting at me.

It took me a moment to realize he wasn't looking away because he'd parked the car. We were at a small park with a stage. There was a band setting up. I guessed we would be watching them. I wondered who they were.

"A little." I murmured and looked away, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

He did and he too my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. He looked very intense.

"Bella. You don't have to be nervous. It's just me. You've never been nervous around me before, have you?"

"No."

"Then please, don't start now. We've done this before, we've just never put a label on it before. No pressure. I love you."

I nodded.

"I love you, too."

I could do this.

Convinced I was okay, Edward got out of the car. I normally didn't let him, but he opened my door and helped me out of the car. My ankle made it difficult to get out of the car on my own, though.

"Wait here for a second." He said, once he was sure I was steady on my feet.

He went to his trunk and pulled out a blanket and a picnic basket before walking back to me and taking my hand in his. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. A picnic in the park at sunset with live music? It was so Edward.

"I was going to take you to dinner and a movie yesterday," He explained. "Then I heard about this little free secret show and decided a picnic in the park was a better idea when you changed our plans. Maybe you've heard of these guys, Good Old War?" He gave me a knowing smirk.

My jaw dropped. Good Old War was one of my absolute favorite bands and Edward knew it. I felt tears in my eyes as I looked up at the stage across the street, then back at Edward.

"Oh my god." I whispered.

"You like it, right? Happy tears?" He asked nervously.

I suddenly crashed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arm that wasn't holding the blanket and the basket wrapped around my waist.

"Yes, happy tears. I love it. Thank you, so much. I love you." I whispered.

I was shocked. Could he _get_ any more perfect?

"I love you, too, my Bella. I'm glad you like it." He leaned back and looked down at me with a huge smile.

He did well and he knew it.

We walked hand in hand to the small park. He set up the blanket on the soft grass near the back of the small crowd of people that had gathered. He wanted to be far enough away that we could talk without yelling over the music, I guessed. He set the blanket and basket down and helped me sit before sitting close beside me.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I tried.

"I packed all of this on my own." He explained proudly when he set about pulling everything out.

"Good evening, everyone. We are Good Old war. We hope you enjoy the show" Keith Goodwin, one of the band members, said into the microphone.

They began their set, starting with Sneaky Louise.

Edward pulled out two sandwiches and two cans of Dr. Pepper. He handed me one of each. The sandwich was peanut butter and banana, my favorite.

"I hope everything's okay."

"You remembered my favorite sandwich." I grinned, listening to the music.

"I did." Edward grinned back at me.

We were mostly quiet while we ate. The band played wonderfully. I hadn't been so happy in a long time.

"Edward?" I asked once I'd finished my sandwich.

He was even more absorbed in the music than I was.

"Hmm?"

I snuggled into his side and he wrapped his arm around me.

"Thank you so much for this. It's perfect."

He kissed my temple and I could feel him smiling against my face.

"You're very welcome, Bella. You deserve it. I should've done something like this for you months ago. You're perfect, and beautiful. You make me more happy than you'll ever know. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. That sounds so insignificant to describe what I feel for you, but it's the best I can come up with."

"I get what you mean," He whispered. "Are you ready for dessert?"

"Please."

He proceeded to pull a small plate of about six chocolate covered strawberries from the basket.

We fed them to each other as the music played on.

"I had this all planned out so much better," Edward sighed. "As soon as you changed our plans, I decided we'd do this, then we _were_ going to walk around for a little while. Then you crippled yourself."

"Oh. Stupid floor. I hate when it gets in my way." I pouted.

"Don't worry about it. I have a back up plan. I wouldn't be me if I didn't." He smiled.

He kissed me lightly on the lips and the band announced the next song would be their last and thanked everyone for coming out.

I looked around for the first time and realized that a lot of people had shown up. I grinned and started singing along when they began playing my favorite song, Coney Island. When we finished eating the strawberries Edward had moved behind me so I could relax. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his chin was resting on top of my head. I stopped singing along when he started. His voice was so much better than mine.

The song ended and I felt Edward press his lips into my hair before he helped me stand up. I moved off the blanket and he quickly folded it up—aka he crushed it into a little ball—and he picked up the basket before leading me back to his car. He helped me in before going to put the blanket and the basket back in his trunk.

My phone began vibrating in my pocket so I pulled it out to check the caller id. It was Charlie so I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella. Are you having a nice time?" He asked. He sounded… off.

"Yeah, it's great. Edward found out one of my favorite bands was playing a secret show and he brought me to see it. What's up?" I asked

Edward got in the car and looked at me quizzically. I mouthed 'Charlie' to him and he nodded before starting the car and pulling into the street towards where ever he planned on taking me now.

"Listen, there was a break in around the corner from home. I'll be at work all night. I already called Esme and Carlisle. I want you to stay the night with them."

"Oh. Is everyone okay?" I asked. I knew all the neighbors and now I was worried.

"Yeah, everyone's fine. It was the Mallory's house but nobody was home at the time." He explained.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Is it safe to stop home and get clothes?"

"It should be, but if anything looks suspicious don't go in. And if you do go in, take Edward with you."

"Yes, sir," I mock saluted even though he couldn't see me, "Because everyone in Forks is dumb enough to break into the chief of police's house."

"This isn't a joke, Bella. I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you."

"Okay, okay. I get it. No joking. I love you too, Dad. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Be safe, Bella."

"I will."

I frowned and hung up the phone.

Edward had parked the car along the street and was getting out to help me out of the car. We were near the boardwalk that overlooked the Port Angeles harbor.

"What was that about?" He asked after he opened my door and offered me his hand.

"Someone broke into the Mallory's house. Charlie's at work all night because of it and since it's so close he wants me to stay at your house tonight." I answered, taking his hand.

"Is everyone okay?" He asked, with the same level of concern as me.

Neither of us cared about Lauren, but the rest of her family was composed of fairly nice people. Nobody could figure out where Lauren's attitude came from.

"Nobody was home. Everyone's okay." I assured him.

"Good. I always sleep better with you in my bed." He smiled, walking me to the lone bench that sat near the edge of the boardwalk. The view was stunning.

"Do you, now?" I grinned, sitting down.

"Of course. You're so cuddly." He joked, laying his head on my shoulder.

I giggled and shoved him playfully.

"Shut it, you goof." I joked.

He laughed and pulled me closer into his side. He played mindlessly with my hair and I rested my head on his shoulder.

I felt his lips press against my hair again.

"What are you thinking?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

I sighed. I couldn't decide if it was sad or not.

"I don't know if I can get these jeans off."

He broke out in laughter at my dilemma.

"I'm serious! I almost made my ankle worse putting them on, I really don't know if I can get them off. It's all Alice's fault."

"Really?" He asked, still chuckling.

"Yes." I frowned.

"Well, worst comes to worst, your stuck in them for a few weeks."

"That's not even a little funny, Edward Cullen."

I refused to keep my pants on for 8 weeks. Any pants, not just these ones. I wanted to move forward with him and at some point that would require me losing my pants.

"Yeah, yeah. Do you want to get going?"

I nodded, still contemplating how to get my pants off.

He stood and helped me up.

"Edward? Thank you. I know I keep saying it, but really, thank you. I had an amazing time. Tonight was perfect. I love you."

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

"You're very welcome, my Bella. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love you, too. So much." He whispered in my ear.

I grinned the entire way back to the car.

Edward drove home faster than necessary, making the nearly hour long drive in half an hour. He held my hand the whole way, periodically bringing it to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. I melted on the inside every time he did it.

"Stop by my house so I can get clothes, please." I said as we passed the sign indicating we'd arrived in Forks.

"Did Charlie say that was okay?" Edward asked, probably just as concerned for my safety as Charlie, if not more so.

"As long as you come inside with me, yes."

We were quiet the rest of the way to my house. Before Edward pulled in the driveway, I noticed my bedroom light was on.

"Edward, park across the street," I ordered. "I didn't leave my light on."

He did as I asked and looked at me.

"You're not going in there."

"Hold on."

I pulled out my phone and called Alice, remembering she had left her things in my room.

"Hey, Bella. Did my brother fuck something up? I figured you two would still be together. Do I need to beat his ass?"

"No, Alice. I just wanted to know if you left my light on when you came to get your stuff that you left at my house."

"I didn't come get it yet, Bella. Why?"

"I'll let you know when we get to your house, I have to call Charlie. Bye." I hung up on her, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I dialed Charlie's cell.

"Alice didn't leave your light on, did she?"

"No. What the fuck kind of idiot breaks into the chief of police's house?" I muttered angrily and hit send to call my dad.

"Bella?" He answered of the first ring, sounded frustrated.

He probably was. This was the biggest crime in Forks of the last century, probably.

"Hey, Dad. Edward and I were about to get clothes for me for tomorrow. We're parked across the street because I didn't leave my bedroom light on, but it's on now. I don't know if someone's in the house or not. I can't see any movement, but I figured it's better to be safe."

There was a little commotion on Charlie's end. It sounded like he was getting people out to their cruisers.

"I want you and Edward to go right to his house, now. We have no idea how dangerous this person is. I'll call you and let you know what happens. I love you, Bells." And then he hung up.

"What'd he say?" Edward asked.

"He said to go right to your house, so let's go."

Edward nodded and sped the entire way to his house, knowing that there was no way he'd get caught tonight. We made it in a record breaking two minutes.

When we arrived at his house, Esme greeted us at the front door. Carlisle was working and none of the kids were home.

"Charlie called after you hung up with him, Bella. I certainly hope everything's okay." Esme greeted, wrapping me in a motherly hug.

I melted into her embrace immediately. She gives the best hugs ever.

"I'm sure everything will be fine." I assured her.

She was more worried than even I was.

"How about you two go get some pajamas on or something and we'll watch a movie?" Esme asked.

"Sure, mom. Pick something out. We'll be right down."

Edward helped me up the stairs and into his room. I sat on the bed while he went into his large closet to get me something to wear. He came out in a grey hoodie and black sweatpants, carrying his smallest sweatpants and his 9th grade baseball t-shirt for me.

"If you get cold I'll get you a sweatshirt." He explained.

I nodded as I was faced again by the great skinny jean dilemma of 2010, as I'd begun referring to it as in my head.

Not caring that Edward was watching, I changed into the shirt quickly, and then stared at my legs for a few moments, thinking of a plan. The best I could come up with was to have him help me.

"What's that look for?" Edward asked.

"I think I need help with my jeans." I explained, blushing profusely.

"Okay." He whispered, grinning like a four year old on Christmas morning and I was the biggest present under the tree.

I rolled my eyes at him while he removed my shoe and Das Boot.

"Lean back and lift your hips." He instructed.

I did as he asked. He swiftly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. My heart rate accelerated drastically. I probably started sweating when his thumbs hooked under my waistband and started pulling, slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. His eyes took in every little detail of every inch of exposed skin. My breathing accelerated, too. I found myself biting my lip in frustration. Once the jeans were about halfway down my calves, he moved his left hand to the inside of my left knee and wrestled my left foot free from the fabric. He caressed my leg while he contemplated how to get my right foot out without hurting me. The stumped look on his face killed the moment. I sat up and reached for my phone to text Alice.

_Will you kill me if I kill the jeans I'm wearing right now and let you replace them as you see fit? ~B_

It only took her seconds to answer.

_As I see fit? Burn them for all I care! We're shopping tomorrow anyway. ~A_

"Go get your mom's fabric scissors." I sighed.

I liked these jeans, but I liked walking even more.

"You want me to cut them off?" He chuckled.

"It's the least painful way to do this."

"Okay, I'll be right back." He said standing up and kissing my forehead before he left the room.

My phone rang just after he closed the door. It was Charlie.

"Hey, Dad." I answered.

"Bella. Someone _did_ break into the house. They were gone before we arrived on the scene. Everything's a mess. I'm not sure what's missing. It looks like everything's here. Tomorrow I want you to go through your room and see if anything is missing. Your room is the most messed up. It's the same thing that happened with the Mallory's." He explained.

I groaned. I hoped nothing too important was missing. I figured my computer was probably gone, but I didn't have anything too important on it. Nothing else in my room was really worth taking, though.

"Okay, Dad. Thanks for letting me know. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright, Bells. Be safe. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad. Goodnight."

I hung up the phone as Edward walked back in the room with the scissors and I groaned, dropping my face to my hands.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, sitting next to me and rubbing my back.

"Whoever was in the house was gone by the time Charlie got there," I explained. "The whole house is a mess, but he says my room is the worst. He also doesn't think anything form downstairs is missing. He's not in my room enough to know if anything is gone form there. I should call Alice. She left a lot of things there today."

"You call her. I'll rescue your foot from your pants." Edward joked, trying to cheer me up.

I nodded and pulled out my phone, dialing Alice and hitting send.

"What now?" She answered in a chipper tone that completely contradicted her annoyed words.

"Someone broke into my house. I don't know if any of your stuff is gone." I explained quickly, like ripping off a band aid.

Edward began cutting the jeans that hung off only my right foot.

"Oh. Shit, Bella. Is everyone okay? That's all that matters. Material possessions are easily replaceable."

"Yeah, everyone's fine. Nobody was home." I sighed.

"That's why you hung up on me to call Charlie, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah. I'll see you when you get home. I'm staying at your house tonight. Charlie doesn't want me home alone."

"Okay, I'll be home in a few hours."

I hung up and watched Edward carefully cut up my leg. His free hand was gently caressing my thigh in a way that seemed like he wasn't aware that he was doing it. I smiled and relaxed under his careful touch.

A few seconds later I was free from the jeans and Edward pulled his sweatpants up to my waist before helping me back into Das Boot. I stood up and started hobbling for the door but he stopped me.

"As much as I'd love for our date to last forever, I don't really think watching a movie with my mother is the best way to end it." Edward whispered.

"Oh?"

"Yes, I think ending it with me cutting you out of your jeans is the best way."

I smirked and he moved closer to me. His eyes darkened and he leaned his forehead against mine.

"So tell me, Bella. Do you kiss on the first date?" He whispered.

I didn't answer him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed the gap between our mouths. He didn't let it get any further, insisting that a first date kiss should be chaste.

I rolled my eyes at him and pouted until he reminded me that Esme was waiting for us.

We made our way downstairs to Esme.

"It's about time, you two. I hope there was no extra loss of limb with those scissors." Esme joked.

We laughed and Esme put a movie into the DVD player.

Edward laid down on the couch and pulled me down to lay in front of him. He pulled me tightly against his chest and buried his face in my hair with an arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

I was asleep before Esme even sat down.

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**Reviews are bad ass.**


	21. Fluff

**This, is basically fluff. Straight up fluff. Straight up fluff that kicked my ass and took, like, 3 weeks to write. No, seriously, I started this the day after I last updated, I think. Somewhere close to there.**

**Don't forget to follow on twitter (ARTAFanFic) for teasers and what not.**

**The outtake of Edward streaking is up in the outtake story of this. Link is in my profile. It's funny, go read it :)**

**And, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted this story! I feel like their were a lot more than there usual is. That made me extremely happy :D**

**I love you all! Enjoy!**

**_Disclaimer: Still, still, still, not SM. I still don't own Twilight, I just make its characters do goofy things and have strange phobias. I also don't own The Exorcist or any other recognizable material in this._**

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Edward's mouth was soft and warm against mine. My hands tangled themselves in his hair. I moaned softly.

"Oh god. Harder."

He moved his mouth to my neck, placing gentle kisses that completely contrasted how hard he was fucking me.

"Bella." He whispered.

"Edward." I moaned in response.

I closed my eyes in ecstasy. I was so close.

I was confused when he chuckled in my ear, pressing more kisses to the side of my neck.

"Bella, love. Wake up."

Wake up?

"Come on, Bella. You're talking in your sleep. You _really_ need to wake up." He groaned, kissing the side of my neck some more.

I'm dreaming? Well, way to shit on my day, sub-conscience.

I slowly became more aware. Edward was still placing gentle kisses on my neck. I also realized how close together we were, and how slightly uncomfortable I was. I remembered falling asleep on the couch. Edward must have fallen asleep, too. The last thing I noticed was my ass grinding against Edward's hardened dick. I immediately stopped. My eyes fluttered open. It was still dark. The clock on the cable box said 4 a.m. so I doubted anyone would've heard me, thankfully.

"Good dream?" Edward asked, jokingly.

"Hm, no. Terrible dream, actually." I smiled, even though he couldn't see me.

"That's too bad. Should we go upstairs?"

"Please."

We hefted ourselves off the couch and made our way up the stairs. Edward helped me up them, even though I didn't need it. Once we were in his room, I found myself to be anything _but_ tired. I knew there was no way I'd be able to sleep. I was pretty sure that I fell asleep before 8.

"I'm not even tired anymore." Edward sighed.

"My thoughts exactly. Now what?"

"I don't know."

I climbed on the bed and got cozy.

I would always love this bed. It felt like heaven and chocolate's love child.

Edward joined me and pulled me into his side.

"So, that dream you were just having. Care to share?"

"Not really. It's not like you can't guess." I whispered, looking up at him through my lashes.

I was content ignoring the fact that I was blushing 43 shades of red and pink.

"So you were being mauled by unicorns and I save you?"

I giggled. He was really ridiculous sometimes.

"Nope."

"I was trying to bite a jawbreaker?"

"What?"

"Well, you said 'harder' so maybe you were telling me to bite harder?"

"You're just being obnoxious now." I laughed.

"Well, then, what was it?"

His eyes darkened and I felt my breath quicken at the sight. He brought a hand up to brush a stray piece of hair out of my face

"You really want to know?"

"I do."

I felt a wide grin spreading across my face at his choice of words. However, now was not the moment to consider marriage. Now was the moment to make out with my sexy boyfriend.

I pulled myself even closer to him.

"You want to know all of it?" I whispered.

He brought his face even closer to mine.

"Every. Single. Detail." He whispered back, his lips barely brushing against mine.

"Hm, there was some kissing, I believe."

I punctuated the sentence with a chaste kiss.

I tried to pull away, but Edward didn't let me. One of his large hands tangled itself in my hair and he deepened the kiss. I felt his warm tongue slide against my bottom lip and I eagerly opened up for him. His other hand slid down my back, over my hip, and to the back of my knee before he hitched my leg over his hips, and pulled me on top of him. I gasped and ground into his still hardened length. He moaned into my mouth and my hands moved from his chest to his hair. I moved my lips to his ear.

"Take your shirt off." I whispered.

Being as cautious as he could about my ankle, he flipped us so he was on top. He pushed back on his knees and pulled his shirt off. I took a moment to admire his chiseled abs and chest.

In a spur of the moment decision, I sat up, too. Before I could second guess myself or Edward could even flinch, I ripped my, well Edward's shirt that I was wearing, off, too.

"Bella." He groaned, soaking in the sight of my nearly bare torso.

In the back of my mind I was kicking Alice for the plain dark green bra she'd picked out for me. I couldn't bring myself to really care, though, with the way Edward looked at me. He looked at me like I was something to eat.

I laid back down, pulling him with me. His mouth immediately found mine again before he kissed down the side of my face to my neck.

"Oh god, Edward." I moaned.

"You're so beautiful, Bella."

He was holding most of his weight on his left forearm and his right hand was on my hip. I moved his hand to my chest and he gasped and stopped kissing my neck.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. Touch me, Edward." I whispered, enjoying the feeling of his hand.

His lips met mine again and I sighed as his hand began caressing my breast gently. I moaned quietly when his thumb brushed over my nipple, sending tingles through my entire body. My nails dug into his back a little bit, causing him to hiss quietly. His hips ground into mine and I groaned probably louder than I should have. It's not my fault he felt so good.

"Edward." I whispered against his mouth.

"Hmm?"

His lips moved to my neck again. I gasped at the contact again, trying to remember the words I was trying to say to him. His hand kneading the flesh on my chest was highly distracting. I arched into his grasp and his hand moved to my back, just over the clasp of my bra. And he stopped kissing my neck and looked at me with dark, lustful eyes.

"May I?"

I though for half a second and decided I wanted this. I _really_ wanted this.

I simply nodded, having lost my ability to form words.

He quickly undid the clasp. In contrast, he slowly pulled the garment from my chest, one side at a time, kissing the newly exposed skin. The process had me gasping and writhing with his every touch.

"Bella, you're so beautiful." He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear him.

His mouth attached itself to my left nipple causing me to moan and grind my hips into Edward's. I needed the friction.

_I needed him to touch me._

"Edward, I need you to touch me." I moaned as his mouth kissed its way to my right breast.

His head snapped in my direction, with a goofy smile on his face, and pride shining in his eyes.

"You're sure?"

"God yes." I sighed.

He smiled and placed a gentle kiss just under my ear.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you, too." I moaned as his hand slid down my stomach.

I flinched when his hand ran over the various scars on my abdomen and he noticed and stopped immediately.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked seriously.

"No. Please don't." I practically begged.

"You're positive?"

I nodded, just wanting him to touch me. The ache was driving me insane.

I was a little confused as he kissed his was down my chest, to my stomach.

"You're beautiful, Bella," He kissed a particularly nasty scar just to the right of my belly button. "Every part of you."

He proceeded to kiss every scar that wasn't covered by fabric. I relaxed a little more every time his lips met my skin. He kissed his way back up to my mouth and I moaned softly. He tasted amazing.

His hand moved so it was resting on my inner thigh. I moaned and shifted, wanting him to move it higher. He complied. I gasped and ground into his hand when it cupped the spot that I needed it to, over the sweatpants I was wearing.

"Mm, Bella."

His hand slid up to the top of the sweatpants and his mouth left mine for a moment. He was looking me with eyes that were asking for permission.

I nodded.

His hand slowly worked its way into the front of the pants, and under my underwear.

I was grateful he left the pants on because I wasn't sure I was prepared for that quite yet, even though he'd already seen me in just my underwear.

All coherent thought left my head as his fingers reached the wetness that had gathered. His lips met my neck at the same time his middle finger dipped into the wetness and moved up to massage my clit. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming out. No matter how hard I bit—which was hard enough to draw some blood—I couldn't hold back the deep moan that sounded like there was no way it could've come from me.

_God this was so much better when someone else was doing it._

"Bella, you have to be quiet." Edward whispered into the spot just under my ear.

He continued placing gentle kisses there and his finger moved from my clit. I groaned in disbelief, but it turned into a gasp of pleasure when the finger slipped inside me.

"Oh god, Edward." I moaned.

"I'll never get sick of hearing you say my name like that." He whispered.

His finger pumped in and out a couple more times before another joined it, increasing the pleasure.

I gasped again, feeling my toes begin to tingle. It was the first sign of an orgasm for me. My back arched slowly.

"Mm, so good." I whispered, extremely breathless.

"That's it, baby. Cum for me. Just let go."

"Edward." I moaned, louder than I meant to.

_It's not like I could really help it. My brain was extremely useless at the moment._

I felt my muscles clamp down around his fingers as the pleasure exploded through my body. My head was tossed back, eyes closed, chest pushed forward, and I'm pretty sure my back arched so far that most of it was off the bed. I probably looked like something out of _The Exorcist_, but I was too far gone to care.

"Mmm oh god, Edward, yes." I moaned again.

He was mumbling incoherently while working through my orgasm, helping me ride it out. A few moments later I'd calmed and he pulled me close to him. We were laying on our sides, facing each other.

His mouth met mine for a tender, yet chaste, kiss. He pulled away with a big smile on his face. Love, adoration, and pride were all shining in his eyes.

"I love you." I whispered.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He whispered, brushing a stray chunk of hair out of my face.

I snorted.

"I probably looked like a bad imitation of a contortionist. That wasn't be beautiful."

"No, it was beautiful. Exquisite, even. Thank you for letting me see that," He whispered. "I'm so proud of how far you've already come, love."

It took me a second to absorb what he'd just said. I realized he was right. I'd come further than some people who'd been in my situation ever would—and I'd done it in mere months. I felt tears threatening to spill over and I let out a tiny sob.

I didn't want to ruin the moment with tears, but I was just really, really happy. And I was really proud of myself.

At the same time I was nervous, I was excited, I was terrified, I was absolutely elated, I felt so loved, and I loved Edward so much. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do with myself.

"Hey, why are you crying? Are you okay?" He asked quietly, pulling back to look at my face.

He relaxed when he saw the huge smile I couldn't seem to get rid of.

"Happy tears?"

"Mostly." I hiccuped.

He looked a little concerned.

"We'll talk about it in the morning. For now, sleep my Bella. I love you."

He pulled me close and I felt his still hard dick press against my hip.

"What about you?" I asked, resting my hand on his lower stomach.

He piked up my hand and kissed my palm.

"We made enough progress for one night, love. Don't worry about me. This was about you."

I nodded against his chest, agreeing that we shouldn't push my limits any more at the moment.

He ran his fingers through my hair until—and probably after, too—I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

_I never did get to finish telling him about my dream._

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_**Be honest. Did this suck? Review, tweet me, whatever, but let me know. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!**

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	22. What the Fraggle Rock?

**Ta-dah! I give you, a chapter. *gasp* Is that I pig I see flying? Honestly, if I didn't hate version one of this chapter so much, it would've been out, like, three weeks ago. I think. When did I last update? It would've been a few days after that. *Sigh* I fail, I know.**

**AN at the bottom will be super duper important. Read it. I don't want to hold you up anymore than I have to up here.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not mean to infringe upon SM and her lovely world of twilight, but it kind of happens anyway. Also, I do not own any of the music referenced in this chapter. I also do not own Steve Woodmore, who if you didn't know, holds the Guinness World Record for fastest talker. Or did at one point. I don't know if he still does. Anyway, the guy talks insanely fast and is referenced and I do not own him. I also do not own "Fraggle Rock," a super kick ass late 80's/early 90's kids show. And I don't own "The Incredible Hulk". Holy wordy disclaimer, Batman! *I also do not own Batman or Robin's typical "Holy (insert obvious object here), Batman!" phrase either. I will stop before I give myself more to disclaim against. I do, however, as of December 4th, own the cutest fucking puppy EVER. She's a two and a half pound silky terrier who only sleeps on her back :)**_

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I woke up to the sound of Edward's heart steadily beating beneath my ear, which was resting on his bare chest. I sighed contentedly and tried to stretch, but Edward's arm tightened around me and kept me firmly in place.

"Not yet." He mumbled, barely coherent.

I turned my head and kissed his chest gently, right over his heart.

I looked at the clock and saw it was nearly ten.

"It's almost ten, Edward. We've been sleeping for over twelve hours. We have to get up."

He rolled to his side and looked me in the eye.

"Are you going to tell me why you cried?"

I sighed, knowing I couldn't hide my feelings from him when it came to that. It was important to be open and honest about it, but I was scared. I sucked it up and tried the bandaid approach. Quick and mostly painless.

"Well, I was happy. Like, really happy. But there's also so many other things happening in my head and it's really overwhelming. I think I literally just didn't know what else to do. I'm really proud of myself and I'm really excited, and happy and every other positive feeling in the world, but at the same time, I'm fucking terrified. I'm nervous, but it's like the happy, anxious, excitedish kind of nervous? You know? I'm just feeling so many things that I don't know what to do with all of it."

I kept my gaze firmly on his chest. I felt like if I met his eyes I wouldn't like what I saw there.

"I hate to dwell on the only bad part of all of that, but why are you afraid?"

He sounded so baffled that I had to look at him. He looked utterly confused, and a little sad.

"I don't know. I think it's just because this is all so new. It's all the regular insecurities of 'what if I'm not good enough' and so on, but then being me I have the whole new layer of 'am I going to freak out again' or 'what if this far is as far as I'll get'. It's a lot to worry about."

"I can tell you right now, you could have a third eye and rabies and you'd still be good enough because I love you and you're good enough just by being you. And the rest of it, we'll cross those bridges if or when we come to them. You're doing amazing, Bella. Even if you can never go all the way, this is enough for me. Just holding you is all I need to be happy."

The sincerity was burning in his eyes and I could help but smile. It was a weak smile, but it was there. I scooted closer to him and kissed him tenderly before I buried my face in his chest.

"You always know what to say. You should be an advice columnist. I love you."

"I love you, too. We should get up. I'm sure Charlie will need help cleaning up your house soon and I think we should eat first."

I agreed, unwillingly. If it were up to me, we'd never get out of this bed.

XXXXXXXXXX

A couple hours later, Edward and I sat on my bed, me still in his clothes, utterly confused.

"Who the hell breaks into someone's house, destroys it, and doesn't take a single thing?" Edward wondered.

Charlie popped in the room to check on us.

"I take it nothing is gone?" He asked.

"Not even my laptop." I answered.

"I still don't get who would break into someone's house and not take anything. What's the point of just making a mess?"

"Maybe it's an out of work maid, hoping to get hired." I joked.

We all laughed for a few secons before Charlie let out a sigh.

"Well, Kate offered to come down and help with the clean up. She'll be here in half an hour. We should probably get started."

"I should call Alice. We were supposed to go shopping today."

I picked up my phone from in front of me on the bed and dialed. She answered on the second ring.

"Bella! How's the house? Is anything missing? All my stuff I left is still there, right? Is it a mess? Are you calling to cancel on me?"

Good God the girl could put Steve Woodmore to shame on spoken words per minute.

"Nothing's missing and all your stuff is still in tact. I'm not necessarily canceling. The house is an absolute disaster and it might take all day to clean. I'll either be really late, or we need to reschedule. I'll definitely spend the night with you, though. Edward's not allowed to steal me away tonight."

Edward looked like he was about to protest and I pushed his shoulder to shut him up. However, I accidentally pushed too hard and he fell of the bed with a loud thud.

"What the Fraggle Rock, Bella?" He asked from his place, sprawled out on the floor.

"Did you really just say that?"

"Isabella Marie, what did you do to my brother?" Alice asked, trying to be serious.

"He was about to say he was stealing me, so I pushed him. But I underestimated my own strength and pushed him off the bed," I explained like it happened every day.

It might as well, seeing how I managed it with Emmett the other day, too. Apparently I was excellent at channeling my inner Hulk.

"Seriously, Douchewad, how did you end up on the floor? I'm not that strong."

Alice started laughing and Edward glared.

"Get back up here, you big baby." I rolled my eyes and offered him a hand.

He took it and started pulling me towards him. Thanks to my ability to occasionally out talk Alice, I talked him out of it by pointing out my ankle was already broken and one injury was enough for the time being.

"I will get you back when that's better."

"Yeah, okay. Because we all know you'll remember that six weeks from now." I joked.

"Bella!" I heard Alice scream though the phone.

"Sorry, Alice. Your brother won't shut up and let me talk to you."

"I have an idea! I'm not doing anything today, so how about I come over and help clean up. It'll get done faster _and_ we get to hang out that way."

"That'd be great Alice. Come over whenever you're ready. Kate's coming to help out, too. Oh! Bring your iPod. We'll hook it up to the stereo downstairs."

"I finally get to meet the elusive Kate? Cool beans. I'll be over in a few."

"See you soon."

I hung up and looked at Edward. He was pouting like a child on the floor. I crawled towards him and laid across the bed on my stomach facing him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why Alice's iPod? _Why? _Mine is so much better." He protested, laying back.

"Because your iPod is full of sad, slow, and depressing music that will do the exact opposite of motivating me to clean. You can't pretend crappy, upbeat music isn't fun. I still remember when you and Emmett danced to _I'm Too Sexy_ for the talent show in elementary school."

"Oh my god that was the greatest thing ever!"

We both jumped—and I may or may not have squealed a little—at Alice's voice. I'd hung up with her less than two minutes ago and neither of us had heard her come inside.

"Where the fuck did you come from, Tink? We need to put a bell on you or something."

"Shut up, brother, or I'll put Barbie Girl on repeat. You know Bella won't be opposed to that. Besides, I was already in the car with my iPod, on the way home from Jasper's."

"She's right, that song is my shit." I interjected myself into their mini-argument.

"When did you lose your great taste in music?" Edward complained.

"Actually, I like everything. It works because everyone thinks I have great taste in music when in reality, I'm just not picky. Unless it's the beaver child. He's just flat out terrible."

"Thank you or small miracles." Edward mumbled.

"Go hook up the music and crank it, Alice. We'll start in here."

Edward and began picking up my clothes, shoes, books, and everything else that was scattered across the floor. I frowned when I picked up a broken picture frame. It held a picture of Alice, Edward and I when we were children. Our parents dressed us up as the characters from _Peter Pan_. We were about four at the time. Edward was crying because his mom had put him in "girly clothes," Alice looked like she just won a year supply of candy, and I was literally drooling over a carmel apple that Edward was holding, and about to drop on the ground. To this day, it was one of my favorite pictures.

I nearly cried when I saw the glass had scratched the picture in multiple places.

Edward looked up and recognized the frame immediately.

"Is it broken?"

I nodded.

"Go sit on the bed. I'll go get the broom to clean up the glass. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

I rolled my eyes at him and moved to the other side of the room to clean.

He picked up the frame on his way out and also frowned, noticing the new scratching marring the picture.

As soon as he was out of the room, I was met with the opening notes of Ian Van Dahl's _Castles in the Sky_ and within seconds Alice was in the sang and danced along with the song while throwing all my clothes in my hamper. Edward came back at some point and picked up the glass, just before I stepped in it, of course. He was shaking his head at Alice and I when Charlie and Kate walked into the room.

"You know, we're going to go prematurely deaf downstairs." Kate joked.

I smiled and greeted her.

"This is Alice, Edward's sister."

Alice looked like she was going to explode.

"Oh my god I love your shoes," was all she said.

"Thanks."

"We're going to work on my room and the bathroom. I really hope the music get's better than this." Charlie sighed, knowing we wouldn't turn it off if we asked.

"I feel the same way, Charlie." Edward agreed.

We quickly finished my room and took over the bathroom for Kate. She joined Charlie in his room.

_Groove is in the Heart_ by Deee-Lite started playing as we made our way to pick up the living room. I threw in a load of laundry and joined Alice and Edward. Soon Charlie and Kate joined us, and we were all singing, dancing and cleaning like idiots. If I told the guys Charlie works with about it, they'd never believe me.

Several hours later we'd danced, cleaned and did laundry through a playlist of about 85 songs, and we were done.

Charlie ordered pizza and I showered quickly and went to my room to pack some things to spend the night with Alice. Edward was in my room when I got there.

"Charlie's getting ready for work. Kate and Alice are talking about shoes. I figured you'd be the best company right now."

"Yikes. I'd run far away from the shoe talk, too. I don't blame you."

I dug through the laundry basket sitting next to him on the bed and found pajamas, jeans—that weren't skinny jeans—and a shirt for the following day.

Charlie popped his head in, in his uniform, just as I finished packing my stuff into a small bag.

"Staying with Edward tonight?" He asked.

"Alice, actually. He's banished from whatever room I'm in." I joked.

"Good. Pizza's here. I have the night shift tonight so I won't be home. Just, lock up when you leave."

"Alright, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded and walked out of the room.

"I'm banished from your presence tonight?" Edward frowned.

"Not really. I'm assuming Alice will banish you from her room, though."

We were quiet for a moment. We heard Alice telling Charlie just how much she approved of Kate.

"Charlie, if I were a lesbian, I'd be doing everything in my power to steal this woman from you. She's _that_ awesome."

"You _would_ say that, Alice." Charlie joked.

I could practically hear him rolling his eyes with an amused smirk on his face.

We heard Kate's hysterical laughter and we followed suit soon after.

There was rarely a dull moment around Alice.

I brought my stuff downstairs and we dug into the pizza. Kate stayed for about half an hour after Charlie left. We left Alice's happy pop music playing, but turned it down to be background noise. We talked about nothing of consequence. Kate and Alice moved their conversation to the upcoming trends for this fall. Edward and I talked about anything else, occasionally mimicking the fashion conversation happening on the love seat, earning us laughs from Kate and dirty looks from Alice. I knew I'd be paying for it later and I was scared to know how.

We said our goodbye's to Kate and after she left I put away the leftover pizza.

"Say you're goodbye's for the night, you two. I'll be waiting in my car for Bella." Alice instructed and proceeded to skip, literally, out the door with my bag.

"If I hear any signs of torture, I'll try to save you." Edward joked.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'll be fine. Unless she tries to put me in her shoes again."

I shuddered at the memory of Alice trying to get my size eight foot into her size five shoe. It was horribly painful.

"I don't think that'll happen again. She learned her lesson when she sprained six of your toes." He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up. Sprained toes hurt more than you'd think."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I kissed my lips tenderly and sighed.

"I'll miss you tonight."

"So melodramatic," I joked. "I'll try to get Alice to watch a movie downstairs. You can hang out with us then."

"Let's go before Alice comes back in. She's far too impatient when she's excited."

"Everyone's impatient when they're excited. Let's go."

I gave him one last kiss and we walked out to Alice's car, hand in hand. He opened my door for me and helped me into the passenger seat before he went to his own car.

He beat us to his house.

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**On to the important stuff!**

**1.) I'm done with school for a month or so. I'm hoping to have more regular updates because I really have nothing else to do. *dances***

**2.) Jenn9394 is the baddest of all badasses. She rec'd this in her story which is 1050% (Yes, you read that right, one thousand and fifty percent) awesome. It's the first time I've ever been rec'd. So thanks to her for rec'ing and to her readers that decided to listen. You're all super awesome. Not that the rest of my readers aren't, because I love all of you, too.**

**3.) I was going to pm Jenn to say thanks, but then I saw she has a story. I read said story and it's amazing. It's really, really sad, but it's really, really good. It has nowhere **_**near**_** the number of reviews it deserves. That being said, go read it. You won't be disappointed. wwwDOTfanfictionDOTnet/s/6223796/1/Permanent**

**Reviews are more awesome than turning children's shows into expletives! :)**


	23. I love Duckie!

**Fortunately, this story is about wrapping up. There's another chapter or two plus an epilogue. Why do I say fortunately? Because I'm getting bored. I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. I have a few ideas floating around in my brain that'll hopefully turn into something beautiful.**

**This chapter's really short. Because the end kicked my ass.**

**_Insert witty disclaimer here._**

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Alice tried to beat Edward home, for whatever reason. She actually told me to shut up so she could drive. Unfortunately for her, Edward was the true lead foot of the Cullen clan and although his Volvo was slower than Alice's Porsche, he was willing to go faster. Charlie would've had a heart attack.

Edward was, of course, waiting to help me out of the car since he knew I couldn't do it on my own. Apparently it was impossible to let Alice help me. What I didn't expect, was Jasper standing next to him. He was pulling out the big guns trying to get any time he could with me. I rolled my eyes but let him help me out of the low car anyway.

"Get out of here, you. And you too!" Alice screeched at the boys.

She was serious about her girl's nights to the point that I considered unhealthy.

They both jumped and walked briskly into the house, but not before Edward took my bag to bring to Alice's room.

"Unbelievable." Alice huffed.

"It'll be fine. I can resist. The question is, can you?"

"I can resist anything when I'm giving you a makeover." She grinned at me.

"Lovely." I sighed.

She lead me up to her room and I felt my eyes bulge when I saw a box of hair dye on her dresser and one of Edward's old shirts draped over a chair.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are _not_ dying my hair Mary Alice Brandon!"

"Come _on_ Bella! It'll look awesome, I promise!"

I cringed.

"No. No. Just, _no_."

"Please, Bella." She pouted.

"No. I will get your brother in here if I have to. You aren't dying my hair, end of story."

"Fine. Then you can give me details on your sex life with your faceless boyfriend."

I felt my eyes grow impossibly wider.

"Sex life. Definitely the sex life."

"Wow. You _really_ don't want me to dye your hair." She chuckled and shoved me over to her bed to sit.

"I love my hair."

"Clearly. So, speak. How far have you guys gotten?"

"Not much further than last time you asked. Uh, he fingered me last night. My pants stayed on, but I did take my shirt off."

"Oh, yay! I'm proud of you Bella!" She squealed.

"Yeah. Then I cried."

"Really? Why? How did Edward react? Was it something he did? I swear to god I will beat his ass…"

"Slow down, Alice. He didn't do anything. I was just feeling way too many things at once. I was just overwhelmed. I was mostly happy though. No beating is needed. We talked all about it this morning."

"Good. He better be nothing less than a gentleman to you or he'll have no less than six people out for blood."

I rolled my eyes at her as she got up and plugged in a curling iron.

"Come, sit." She pointed to the chair.

"No dye?"

"No dye."

I did as she asked and she began brushing my hair. It was soothing and something I always liked having done. I felt myself relaxing far too much.

"So, what were you going to do with the dye?" I asked.

I glanced at the box and saw it was purple. Also known as, the last thing I needed in my hair. Charlie was chill as far as parents go, but crazy hair color was where he drew the line and I knew it.

"I wasn't actually going to do anything. I just knew it was the only way I'd get you to talk."

"You're a devious bitch." I laughed.

I knew she was the only one I'd let get away with it, I wasn't even mildly peeved.

We chatted idly while she wrapped my hair into loose curls, the opposite from my typical smooth, straight hair.

She went on to do my make up as she saw fit, which resulted in bright red lips, insane blue eyeshadow, and enough eyebrow pencil to make my mine put that british actor guy to shame. She went to her closet and pulled out a bag from one of the small stores in Port Angeles. I looked inside and it contained a pair of shiny, silver leggings and a long black shirt with a design I couldn't quite make out.

"What is this? The 80's?" I joked.

"Yes it is. And then we're going downstairs to watch _Pretty in Pink_, in our 80's clothes. I'll change in the bathroom. Let me know when you're done."

I rolled my eyes, but decided that since it's been so long since I've spent time with her, I'd just play along. I didn't mind _Pretty in Pink_ anyway.

We were at the point in the movie where Andie and Duckie were in the record store. Alice was dancing around like Duckie in her acid wash skinny jeans, purple leg warmers, and oversized, off the shoulder, purple sweatshirt.

Edward and Jasper chose that moment to walk in.

"What the hell are you guys wearing?" Edward asked.

"Oh _Pretty in Pink_! I love Duckie!" Jasper exclaimed right after causing me and Edward to crack up.

Alice just screamed "Dance with me!"

They both broke out in an impersonation of Duckie's Otis Redding impersonation. Edward and I just sat back, laughed, and enjoyed the show.

After Jasper pointed out he would be heartbroken if we didn't let them watch with us, Alice let them stay. They cuddled up on the love seat, quoting the movie to each other. I rolled my eyes at them. They really did belong together.

Edward and I had taken up our position from the previous night. He was laying behind me with an arm wrapped around my waist. He drew small patterns on my stomach for the duration of the movie.

When it was over, we said goodnight and Alice brought me back to her room for more girl stuff.

I was thankful she allowed me to wash the god awful 80's makeup off. She liked to purposely over do bad fashion when it came to the 80's.

We chatted about more girl stuff while she decided I needed a manicure and a pedicure. She gave me both, well it was a one foot pedicure, but the premise was there.

A few hours and a few random activities later, we went to bed and I hoped and prayed I didn't dream of Edward because Alice would certainly know it.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I woke up after a peaceful nights sleep to someone's small arms wrapped around me. It took me a moment to realize they were _not_ Edward's. I open my eyes to an at first unfamiliar room. It took me a few seconds to remember I was in Alice's room. It'd been a long time since I'd slept there. That brought about the question of why the hell is she spooning me?

I glanced at the clock to see it was only nine. The only one that would likely be awake was Esme. I decided to go hang out with her.

I wiggled my way out of Alice's arms and fell off the bed. Without Das Boot on. It hurt. A lot.

I quickly strapped myself back into it and hobbled my way down to the kitchen. I saw Esme was making pancakes, and I knew I made the right decision.

"Good morning, Esme."

"Hello Bella. How was your night?"

"It was great. But, I woke up with Alice spooning me. She didn't even buy me dinner first. It's like she thinks I'm a cheap whore." I joked.

"Oh, that Alice. I'll have to give her a stern talking to."

We giggled and joked for a few more minutes.

"Do you need any help?"

"Could you get started on the bacon?"

"Sure."

We worked in a comfortable silence until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I didn't hear Jasper at all so he must have gone home.

"Good morning." Edward whispered in my ear.

I grinned and turned in his arms. That turned out to be a horrible idea. I was just wearing a camisole and most of my back was bare. Within fifteen-seconds, it was splattered with hot bacon grease.

"_Ow! Mother fucking shit stains!_" I screamed, effectively scaring everyone in the room and apparently waking Carlisle up because he came running down the stairs.

"What happened?" He asked in his best doctor voice.

I tried not to focus on the fact that he was shirtless and in _incredible_ shape for someone his age.

"I'm okay. Bacon grease. Lots of bacon grease."

Esme seemed to be the only one that noticed how flustered I was, and she winked at me. It was slightly creepy.

Edward was too busy laughing at the initial pain and Carlisle was probably concerned about third degree burns.

I turned back to the bacon to hide my blush.

Alice walked in a few seconds later and scrunched her nose up at her dad.

"Dad, why the hell aren't you wearing a shirt?"

We all chuckled a little when he realized it.

"Bella hurt herself." He offered as an explanation.

"That happens every day. It's no reason to be topless." She joked.

"Actually, it's already happened twice today. I shouldn't be left alone or brought within fifteen feet of any sharp objects today. It's bound to end in disaster." I joked.

"Twice?" Edward asked.

"I fell out of Alice's bed. Without Das Boot. It's fine now, though. It hurt for like half a second."

Carlisle still looked concerned.

"Really, I'm fine."

Carlisle eventually went to put a shirt on and we gathered around the table for breakfast. Emmett came strolling in when we were about halfway finished.

"Damn. Are you two ever going to sleep apart again?" He said looking between Edward and I.

"Are you ever going to go a day without taking the walk of shame?" I joked.

"There is no shame in this walk. I'm very proud of this walk." He shot back and we both dissolved in giggles.

Yes, Emmett really giggled.

"Well, I stayed with Alice last night. She was a great substitute. I even woke up to her spooning me."

"What? That did _not_ happen, Bella!" Alice whined.

Everyone started cracking up.

"I swear to god, Alice. Don't try to deny it. Everyone knows you're a cuddly sleeper. I fell out of your bed trying to get away from you."

"She's right. You always have been a cuddler." Esme stated.

"Thanks for being on my side, Mom."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

Emmett joined us for breakfast and we all joked and chatted through the rest of the meal. Esme and Carlisle were leaving with Emmett around noon to take him to his college in Seattle.

"You know, Bella and I were supposed to go shopping yesterday. How about everyone goes to Seattle? Edward can help you guys, and we'll go shopping." Alice suggested.

"You guys can come, but I'd rather you take Edward with you. No two girls should be walking around a big city alone." Esme agreed.

A while later, I called Charlie to fill him in. He was just going to bed so he was fine with it. He wasn't very coherent, though. He hated the night shift, but he was working it again tonight.

I took a quick shower in Edward's bathroom before going to Alice's room so she could play Barbie with me.

The drive to Seattle was full of jokes, loud intentionally crappy music, and laughter. Shopping was mostly uneventful. We were done in time to go out to eat with Emmett after they'd finish setting up his dorm. It was a fairly small room. It was simple, with two beds, two dressers, and two desks. I did not envy the communal bathroom situation.

The ride home was quiet and much more subdued than the ride there. I fell asleep before we even made it out of the city.

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**I feel the need to apologize for how this ended. I really hope it's less noticeable than I think it is that I more or less gave up. Starting the next chapter tonight, which should be better than this. The _Pretty in Pink_ thing was kind of great, though.**


	24. Jack!

**One more and an epilogue after this one. Uh oh. That makes me sad. But really happy. Oh my god there's an ASPCA commercial on so I'm crying. I love animals.**

**ANYWAY. I wrote a one shot for the Fandoms Fight the Floods thing for Australia. You can find the information about it at fandomsfightthefloods(dot)blogspot(dot)com. You can also follow them on twitter at Fandoms4Floods It's for a good cause. Look into it. I'll post a summary of the one shot with my next chapter :)**

**There's a movie quote in this. It's short. The movie is british and old. A cookie for whoever picks it out.**

_**Disclaimer: I own an adorable puppy, a lot of cranberry juice (yum), a crappy car that needs a new battery, and a few purple shirts. I do not, however, own Twilight, it's characters, or any other recognizable material.**_

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After the long day in Seattle, I flopped backwards on to my bed while Edward looked on with amusement shining in his vibrant green eyes.

"I missed my bed. Stop judging me. I haven't slept in it in how long, now?"

"It's been, like three days."

"That's two days too many."

He laid down next to me and pulled me close.

"Charlie's on the night shift again?"

"Yes he is. It's just us until about four."

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Please. I think Charlie would kill you if you left me here alone, anyway."

"Yeah, I think you're right. So, what should we do?"

"I don't know. I'm indecisive. You pick something."

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment before deciding a movie was a good place to start.

I hadn't been entirely honest, though. I knew exactly what I wanted to do tonight, but I needed a little time to work up to it.

I wanted to try again. I wasn't positive I could do it, but I was positive I wanted it enough.

"Can we watch it up here? I really, really missed my bed." I frowned.

Plus, the bed would be more comfortable for what I was planning.

Edward sighed sadly.

"That's such a waste of the 46 inch plasma down there."

I rolled my eyes and giggled a little.

"Stop being such a guy and go pick a damn movie while I change into something more comfy."

He nodded and moved from the bed with a gentle kiss to my cheek and left to pick a movie. I watched him leave, thoroughly checking out his ass, before I got up and picked a pair of teeny tiny black sleep shorts and a plain pink tank top—the same ones I wore on my first day back. I brought them to the bathroom and changed quickly and went through my typical bedtime ritual because if things went my way, there's no way I'd feel like it later.

I heard him come up the stairs so I hurried to finish brushing my teeth.

By the time I got back to my bed, Edward had the movie set up and was sitting against my headboard with a bowl of popcorn. I immediately regretted brushing my teeth. I must have frowned because Edward noted my disappointment.

"Did you not want popcorn? I could go get something else if you want." He asked.

"No popcorn is perfect… or at least it would've been had I not just brushed my teeth… in case I fall asleep during the movie."

_Yeah, in case I fall asleep during the movie? Who am I kidding?_

Edward didn't look like he believed me. I didn't blame him. I was a shitty liar and he knew it.

"In case you fall asleep?" He asked, dubiously.

I simply nodded and shut off the light before joining him on my bed. I couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across my face when I saw what movie he chose.

I knew he did it for me because it was my favorite sappy movie. And he liked to watch me cry sometimes. _Dick._

I giggled, staring at the dvd menu for _Titanic_.

"Really? You want to watch me cry?"

"No, you told me to stop being such a guy. Actually, I want to watch you sing the song _while_ you cry. That alone makes this movie worth watching." He joked.

"You're a dick."

"I never said I wasn't."

I rolled my eyes and he started the movie. I grabbed a handful of the buttery popcorn and suffered through the first few bites before it stopped tasting minty.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later I was crying when Rose tried to jump off the ship.

And then at every part that the score sounded like "My Heart Will Go On," I sang along, much to Edward's delight.

Internally, I was cursing Edward. He knew nothing could ever distract me from this movie, and _dammit_ I was sexually frustrated. I knew he had to be, also.

I was so absorbed by the movie that I hadn't even realized Edward had gotten up to put in the second disc. Suddenly, I was a blubbering mess and screaming Jack's name. Edward held me, like a dutiful boyfriend, even if he was laughing hysterically at me.

And then, just like I always do, I tried to sing the song through my hysterical crying, watching all of the characters die.

Then I finally stopped singing, once Rose was on the door and started yelling at the movie how stupid they both are and that there was _more_ than enough room for both of them if they just took a second to figure it out. Then they could've had a happy life together and lots of babies and what not.

Edward just laughed harder.

Finally, half an hour after the movie had ended, I'd calmed down and we were debating what to do next.

We were laying side by side in my bed, facing each other.

"What do you want to do?" I asked him.

"Well, I'd kind of like to kiss you." He said, brushing a stray hair out of my face and behind my ear.

"I'd kind of like that." I responded.

He pulled me closer and placed a passionate kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth for him at the first touch of his tongue to my bottom lip.

I moaned quietly at his indescribable taste. It, along with the feel of his mouth on mine, was something I'd never, ever tire of. I was sure of it.

His left hand slowly trailed along my side until he reached the back of my right knee. He hitched my leg over his hip and I gasped at the contact. Unsurprisingly, he was hard and ready. He probably had been for a while. I felt bad for a moment, then I remembered my plan and I suddenly didn't feel so bad anymore.

I was excited. I wasn't even a little bit nervous or anxious in any way. Any doubts I could've had were put to rest a few days before.

_I was_ beyond_ ready for this._

I slid my hands down Edward's front until I reached the hem of his shirt. I pulled at his shirt, wordlessly telling him to take it off. He rolled us so I was on my back before he moved back just far enough to get his shirt off. I missed his mouth immediately.

He settled back between my legs and attached his lips to my neck. My hips bucked against his.

"Edward." I whispered, practically writhing with my need for him.

I pushed at his chest and he willingly rolled us so I was straddling his hips. I attached my mouth to the spot just below his ear that made him moan.

"I want you." I whispered.

He pushed me back and looked into my eyes, both excited and confused. He looked as though he was completely unsure of what to think.

I didn't blame him.

"Now? You're ready?" He asked.

"God, yes. Please." I whimpered.

"Shit." He muttered.

I ignored that and ran my hands over his well defined abdomen before pulling my own shirt off, revealing my blue lacy bra.

Edward's hands found mine once they moved back to his chest.

"Bella, not tonight. Not like this." He sighed, regretfully taking in my appearance.

I must have looked confused. He rolled us again so he was on top of me, probably intent on keeping the mood going.

I wanted to kick, scream, and cry like a four year old.

He kissed me cheek.

"I want you, too." He whispered before he kissed my lips softly.

I sighed.

"I want you so badly it hurts. But I want it to be special," He kissed my jaw, "I want there to be flowers and candles," He kissed the side of my neck, "I want there to be romantic music and something memorable before hand."

He was making it very difficult to be mad at him.

"I want it to be something you'll never, ever forget." He whispered directly into my ear.

The way his lips brushed against the shell of my ear and his breath flowed into it made me shiver in pleasure.

His words formed a beautiful picture in my head. Imagining it, I found myself to be okay with waiting a little bit longer. As long as I got Edward in the end, I could never be upset about it.

"Damn you and your morals." I gasped.

He smiled.

"But, can I touch you now? I _need_ to feel you." I pleaded.

He seemed to be caught off guard and he simply nodded.

I grinned and pushed him onto his back before I picked up where I'd left off.

Beginning with his neck, I ran my hands ever so slowly down his torso, following with gentle, open-mouthed kisses across his chest.

His hips bucked and he moaned loudly when I bit his nipple. I stored that bit of information away for a later date.

I continued my path until I reached the waistband of his jeans. I ran my nose along the small trail of hair that disappeared beneath the fabric.

I looked up at him. His head was propped up against a couple pillows and he was watching me intently. His hands were fisted in my sheets.

I popped the button on his jeans without warning. He gasped.

He pushed into my hand when I palmed him through his jeans. He was hard and hot through the rough fabric. I carefully pulled his zipper down, revealing dark fabric in the space that was now visible. I hooked my hands in the sides of his jeans and moved up his body to kiss him tenderly on his mouth. After a moment, I pulled away and he whined at the loss of contact. It was quickly cut off when I began pushing down his jeans. He lifted his hips the ease the process and his jeans joined our shirts on the floor.

When his boxers were fully visible, I found myself stifling a giggle. The dark fabric from before, was now fully visible, and clearly purple. It was such an Edward thing to wear.

I ran my hands up his legs slowly, coming to a stop just short of where I so desperately wanted to touch him.

"Bella." He sighed.

Finally, after nearly a full minute of teasing, I palmed his erection through the thinner, smoother fabric of his boxers. He was even warmer than he was through the jeans. I could also feel the shape a bit better. I would not be disappointed when I stripped him of his last article of clothing.

I stroked him gently over the fabric before I made a rash decision.

I began placing open mouthed kisses along the throbbing piece of flesh, over the fabric.

"_Holy mother of fucking shit_." He hissed, wrapping his fists tighter in the fabric of my sheets.

I smirked and slid my fingers under the fabric that was in my way. For the first time, I stroked him with no barriers. He groaned loudly and bucked into my hand.

He was hard, yet soft at the same time. The skin was smooth and felt amazing under my fingers. I wanted to see it and his stupid boxers were in the way.

I pulled at the fabric and Edward lifted his hips one last time so I could strip him of the offending item.

They, too joined the pile of clothing on the floor and I finally got and eyeful of Edward.

He was… perfect. There were no other words. He wasn't so large that it was scary or intimidating in any way, but he definitely wasn't small. He was perfect. He was exactly what I'd hoped he'd be. He looked just as smooth as he'd felt. There was a bit of moisture gathered at his tip.

I licked my lips as I drank in the sight of his swollen extremity causing him to close his eyes and whisper something unintelligible.

He looked so good that I _wanted_ to taste him. I'd never imagined myself as someone who'd ever want to give head, but here I was, itching to get a taste of my Edward.

I gripped him with false confidence and stroked upwards once, gathering the bit of moisture on my thumb. His eyes shot to mine when I let go of him, but quickly moved to my mouth when he saw my thumb about to slide inside of it, about to taste him.

His jaw dropped and his dick twitched.

"Good God, Bella." He groaned.

My eyes rolled back in my head, and I may have moaned a bit, when I tasted him. He was delicious. It was slightly salty, but there were other flavors in there, too. Flavors that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

I returned my hand to his throbbing dick and stroked him a few more times.

"I want to taste you. _Really_ taste you." I said, in a voice much too raspy to be mine.

"Shit, Bella. Please." He begged.

Who'd have thunk that _me, Bella Swan_ would have a guy begging her for head after everything I've been through, and that I'd enjoy it? I smiled inwardly.

Outwardly, I moved back a bit, so I was straddling Edward's knees. I bent forward and began placing open-mouthed kisses along the underside of his cock. I followed that up with a single lick all the way up it's length before I took him in my mouth slowly, and swirled my tongue around the head.

_I'd seen far too much porn in the last few months._

Edward let out his loudest moan yet and started chatting unintelligible things again. One of his hands left the sheet and found its was into my hair, holding it out of my face.

I looked up at him through my lashes and he was watching my every movement like a hawk, with his face twisted in pleasure.

"Jesus mother fucking Christ." He gasped when I took him in deeper.

He wasn't putting any pressure against me with the hand in my hair. I found that I liked having it there.

I spent several more minutes working him over with my mouth. My hand held all of him that I couldn't fit.

He was writhing and moaning with increased volume and desperation.

I eventually used my free hand to stoke his sack. Within seconds he was screaming more things I couldn't understand.

"Holy fucking _shit_. Bella. I'm coming. Please, Baby. Oh _God._" He screamed.

I understood that.

I sucked a little bit harder, and his hand tightened in my hair. It took me a second to realize he was trying to urge me away. I wasn't having that, though. I wanted to taste more of him. I moaned around him, bringing another pleasurable scream from his beautiful mouth.

His entire body stiffened and he pulsed into my mouth. I swallowed every bit of what he gave me. And I liked it.

As soon as I released him, he pulled me up and attached his mouth to mine, kissing me with a newfound level of need.

"I love you." Was all he said.

"I love you, too."

He returned his lips to mine and I felt his math curve up into a smile.

"You liked that, didn't you?" I asked, not taking my mouth away from his.

"Mmm"

I giggled into his mouth. I'd rendered him speechless. That's not an easy feat.

After several minutes, Edward finally seemed to find his tongue again.

"Bella, that was… holy fuck. I can't even…" He rambled.

"I get it, Cullen. I have a talented mouth." I joked.

"Understatement. _Where_ the hell did you learn that?"

"I'm _so_ not telling you that."

I felt a dark blush warm my cheeks.

"You make me sad."

"Actually, I do believe I just made you very happy."

He simply rolled his eyes and glanced at the clock on my nightstand. I followed his gaze and saw it was already nearly three in the morning.

His hand trailed along my side and came to a rest on my hip. He reattached his mouth to mine. Unfortunately, I had to stop him. We both groaned.

"Why? You should feel good, too." He mumbled.

"Well, for one you always make it about me. The favor needs to be returned once in a while," I explained. "And two, Charlie will be home in about an hour. We need to get dressed because he _will_ come and check on us, and any excessive nudity will not make him happy."

"What counts as excessive nudity? I can't sleep with a shirt."

"He knows that. That's also probably all that's allowable, meaning you need pants, and I need my shirt."

He pouted and leaned over the edge of the bed to hand me my shirt. I slipped it over my head and plopped back into my pillows. Edward joined me after pulling his pants back on and a quick trip to the bathroom.

"How much longer will we have to wait?" I asked as he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling my back to his chest.

"Hopefully, not much longer. I've had plans, I just haven't known when to implement them. Your timing is actually perfect."

"Do I get to know the plans?"

"Nope. I'm determined to make this a surprise."

"Damn." I sighed.

I drifted into a peaceful sleep shortly after.

XXXX

The next morning, I woke up around eleven and Edward was showing no signs of waking up. I heard Charlie moving around the kitchen so I decided to get up anyway.

I pulled a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie over what I wore to bed and threw my knotted hair into a sloppy bun before I made my way downstairs. I found Charlie at the table with coffee and a newspaper.

"Morning, Dad."

He nodded in acknowledgment and went back to his paper and coffee.

I flipped on the small radio and began gathering the ingredients for french toast.

"French toast?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, you want some?" I grinned, knowing Charlie would never turn down my cooking.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Technically, yes. You could've already eaten."

"Like that would stop me." He rolled his eyes.

I turned the stove on to warm the pan before I started cracking eggs in a dish.

I was surprised when Charlie put his paper down. It wasn't like him to make conversation when it's not necessary. We were more of the companionable silence kinds of people.

"So, there was another break in last night." He began.

"Oh no. Who this time? Is everyone okay?" I asked, instantly worried.

"It was the Webber's this time. Everyone was fine, thankfully. Angela was home alone with her boyfriend. I guess her parents still had my direct line at work from when they used to babysit you, so she called me right away. You probably won't be surprised by who it was." He smirked, a rare occurrence for him.

I tried to think who has a problem with the Webber's. I couldn't come up with anyone. They were all so sweet that you could get a cavity by looking at them.

I added spices to the eggs and began dipping bread into the mixture.

"I have no idea."

"It's someone with a grudge against all three of you girls. I'm technically not supposed to tell you. You have to guess."

"Technicalities never stopped you before. I have no idea who has a grudge on me _and_ Lauren. Me and Angela, sure, but me and Lauren? I've got nothing."

Edward chose that moment to walk into the kitchen and show his all knowing annoying ways.

"Newton."

"Yeah."

"What the hell does the Newt have against Angela?"

I was confused. Obviously I'd missed something while I was in Phoenix.

I knew he was practically in love with me and I rubbed Edward in his face before he was even technically mine, and I'd heard through the grapevine that Lauren had cheated on him with Tyler Crowley.

"The Newt? No wonder he doesn't like you, Bells." Charlie joked.

"He's moist. Like a newt. It's weird. I've never called him that to his face. Plus, he's creepy."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"He asked her out in tenth grade. She laughed at him because she honestly thought it was a joke. When he got upset she made up an excuse about not looking for a relationship. A week later she got together with Ben."

"I didn't know Angela had it in her." I joked.

Charlie rolled his eyes and Edward shrugged.

"All I care about is that there's a criminal off the streets for the time being." Charlie said in his best 'I'm the chief of fucking police' voice.

"You're just happy because you ended the biggest crime spree Forks has ever seen." I joked.

I finished cooking the last few pieces of french toast and placed the plate on the table. I moved to grab the syrup and powdered sugar, and Edward immediately got up and got plates and forks. Esme taught him well.

I smiled and thanked him. Edward smiled. Charlie smiled. We were a bunch of smiley folks.

I jumped at the sound of the front door slamming open, but immediately relaxed when I heard Alice's voice.

"Oh my God, Bella! The Newt got arrested!" She screamed, probably looking in various rooms trying to find us.

I was laughing to hard, so Edward called out to her. She ran into the kitchen looking frazzled. She was such a gossip.

"I know, Alice. I'm kind of closely related to the arresting officer."

"Oh. Duh. Good morning, Charlie," she greeted him warmly. "Ew," she deadpanned looking at Edward.

He rolled his eyes and shoved her with a smile on his face. He was still smiley. I must've done better than I thought last night. He was never a morning person. Then again, I also made some bad ass french toast. It was good enough to make me smile, too.

My phone chimed with a text and I saw it was a picture from Emmett. I opened it to see a pathetic looking egg sandwich.

_**Come make me real food.~Em**_

I laughed loudly and showed it to everyone else.

"Should I tell him how awesome my french toast was today?"

"Don't be cruel. You'll understand next year when you go off to school." Charlie grimaced, no doubt remembering his diet from his own time at UW.

I frowned. but listened anyway and ignored the text, for now.

Edward and Alice were absorbed in their own conversation about savoring mine and Esme's cooking every day until they leave for school when Charlie cleared his throat to get my attention.

"Bells, I don't work tonight, and I go back to the morning shift tomorrow. I was thinking we could, uh, spend some time together today. Just the two of us."

"Uh, sure."

An hour later, Alice and Edward were leaving and I was getting in the shower.

I wondered idly what this was about. I knew Charlie well enough to know he only did things like this when he had something important to talk to me about. I hoped like hell it had nothing to do with Renee.

I hurried through my regular morning routine, drying my hair quickly into loose waves before I pulled it into a loose, low side ponytail and slipping into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, before finishing my look with a plain black zip up hoodie. I was unsure if he planned on us going anywhere so I dressed casually enough for anything.

I found Charlie in the living room, watching some sports show. He smiled when he saw me, knowing I liked to be prepared.

"Good, you got dressed."

"I take it we're going somewhere, then?"

"I was thinking lunch in Port Angeles. That's okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's cool."

I followed him out to the decrepit truck he insisted on driving when he had to leave the town of Forks. It was a big orange beast and it was at least ten years older than him.

I needed my own car.

Amazingly, the radio still worked in the truck and we spent the entire ride blasting and badly lip synching to forty minutes of classic rock music. It was nice to see Charlie so happy and care free. It was a rare thing to see. I knew it was because of Kate. She made him happy, and that was all that mattered.

We got to the small town a little too soon for lunch so we walked around for an hour instead. I felt my face light up when we passed the park where Edward had taken me on our first official date. Charlie noticed.

"What's so special about this place?" He asked.

"This is where Edward took me on our first date. He found out one of my favorite bands was doing a free show and he planned a picnic." I grinned, remembering how much that night meant to me. It would be hard to ever top it.

"He's good to you, Bells." Charlie observed.

"He's the best. Better than I ever could've hoped for."

In a very un-Charlie move he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"He better be the best. You deserve nothing less."

I felt tears gather in my eyes. My dad was a man of few words, and when he did talk, those words were rarely so… emotionally invested. He was more of the 'when I ask what's for dinner it means I love you' type.

"Thanks, Dad." I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder.

I smiled when I saw a little brunette girl who looked to be about seven, dragging a man who looked to be her father towards a playground. It reminded me of my dad and I before Renee lost her marbles.

"I remember when you used to do that. I used to bring you here once a week. Every Saturday since you were three I brought you here and then we went to lunch, right after going fishing with Billy in the mornings."

I vaguely remembered that, but I thought it was just a park in Forks that we went to once in a while. I had forgotten he used to set an entire day aside to be with me.

"Why?" I found myself asking out of sheer curiosity.

I knew he loved me and liked having me around, but I couldn't remember a time that he wasn't there when he wasn't working.

"I think I worked more than you remember, Bells. I worked six days a week and I was lucky to get vacation days at that time. I just wanted you to have something to remember even though I wasn't always around. Your mom was never all that happy about it, I guess. I spent most of my days off with you and Billy."

"Wow. I remember spending the day with just you once in a while. I completely forgot that it was every weekend. I don't remember leaving Forks either. I really wish I did." I sighed.

I was legitimately disappointed that I couldn't remember every detail of those times. I knew there would be a day when all I'd have were memories and things like that were the ones I wanted to keep. I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"Don't cry, Bella." He mumbled, probably unsure of what else to do.

"I'm not really sad, Dad. It just…means a lot to know you did things like that. Even if I don't really remember it right."

He smiled, and I noticed how the skin around his eyes crinkled a bit. He was older. It wasn't like it was a new development, but it was the first time I really looked at him since I'd been back.

"That was the point. I just wanted a few good memories that I knew you'd always associate with me. I know I'm not around a whole lot these days, but I do still love you and I still like spending time with you, Bells. I hate that you'll never have anything like that with your mother."

I nodded and we sat on a bench that overlooked the playground.

"I know you love me. And I love you, too. You're one of the best dad's I could've asked for." I said, deliberately ignoring the tidbit about Renee.

He smiled sadly, and my guard instantly went up. I was suddenly terrified about what brought this on.

"Why so sentimental all of the sudden, Dad?" I asked cautiously.

He took a deep breath before turning to look me in the eye with a small smile on his face.

"I have some news."

"Oh my. Should I be worried?" I joked.

"Not at all. Let's head to get lunch, though." He suggested.

He helped me off the bench and lead the way to a small deli. I ordered a caesar salad and Charlie ordered some kind of sandwich.

I was getting antsy.

"When do I get to hear this good news?"

Charlie rolled his eyes at my impatience.

"Well, before I say anything, I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. With all the break in's and everything things have been really busy."

"Oh, this is going to be great news, isn't it?"

"I hope so."

The conversation was interrupted for a moment when our waiter returned with our food.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" She asked cheerily.

I was surprised to see her obviously looking at my chest.

_Edward is going to die when I tell him about that_.

"No, we're good." Charlie answered, looking highly amused. He'd noticed too.

As soon as she walked away we started cracking up.

"I can't decide if I should be flattered or scared." I giggled.

Charlie just laughed harder.

A few minutes later we'd both calmed down.

"So, spill the good news Chief. I'm not patient enough for this." I engorged.

"Well, the night before the break in at the Mallory's, I asked Kate to marry me. She said yes."

I dropped my fork. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. And then, channeling my inner Alice, I let out a girly squeal and jumped up and pulled him out his seat to give him a hug.

"That's so great, Dad!"

"I'm glad you're happy. I was a little worried about how you'd react." He admitted.

We took our seats again.

"Are you kidding? Kate is awesome. I can tell she makes you happy and that's all that matters to me. If you're happy, so am I. So, is she moving in? Are you moving to her? How is this working?"

"We haven't talked about that stuff yet. You're taking this better than I could've hoped." He laughed.

"Do you remember that time when I was six and I asked for a baby brother or sister, and I didn't care which as long as there was one?"

"Yes…"

"That never changed." I giggled.

"Oh great." He joked.

We finished our meal and decided to head home. We rocked out to 80's hair metal on the way home and I couldn't wipe the grin off my face the entire way.

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**Much better than last chapter, when I just gave up, right?**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted. It keeps me writing :)**

**Until next time...**


	25. Finally

**Sniff. The last chapter. After this, there's just the epilogue left. I hope to have that out in the next few days. I have several ideas for my next fic. I'm excited to start writing it!**

**I'll make this short and sweet, the bottom A/N will be long and obnoxious, but important. Read it.**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the original characters this story is based off of. I do, however, own these specific words. Awesome, right? I also still don't own Fraggle Rock *sad face*_**

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_One week._ An entire _week_ of being overly frustrated because of Edward and his stupid morals. I loved him. I did _not_ love his need to plan and surprise me.

I also _did not_ like the Bikini wax Alice forced me in to. She threatened my hair.

I was in some lingerie store with Alice, who was trying to convince me to get something scary and unnecessary. She rolled her eyes and _bought it for me_. She knew I'd feel obligated to wear it at least once. It was all black and lacy. Like I said, scary.

"What the Fraggle Rock, Alice?" I complained.

"Did you really just turn a children's show into an expletive?"

"Yes. Blame your twin. He said it an it just kind of stuck."

"He would. Anyway, has he told you anything yet?"

"No. He's determined to surprise me. Again. I'm not worried. I've yet to be anything less than impressed with his surprises. So what are you doing this weekend?"

"Oh, I'm going to Seattle with Jasper to see his cousins."

Thus began her 40 minute speech on everything they were planning to do. Inside _and_ outside of the hotel room.

I focused on the music and nodded once in a while.

"You know what he's doing, don't you?" I interrupted.

Alice looked guilty.

"I plead the fifth."

"I can't even get a hint?"

"He threatened to burn my clothes and key my car. You aren't getting anything from me."

"Alice!" I groaned.

"If he finds out I told you, I'm dying your hair. And I _will_ dye it hot pink."

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too. You're the only friend I would risk this for… Don't tell Rose that."

"I swear on my hair nobody will know." I laughed.

We were pulling up to my house, where I was to shower, and dress casually—per Edward's instructions and my only hint. I was to wear the new lingerie—per Alice's instructions.

"Okay. He had me pack you a bag for the weekend. It's already cleared with Charlie. He ran the whole plan by me first, and I think it's perfect for you. He came up with it all on his own. It should go off without a hitch."

A whole weekend alone with Edward? It already sounded perfect and I had no idea about any of the specifics.

"Thank you, Alice! You know I love you, right? Now, are you planning to help me get pretty? We both know you do better than I do."

Alice looked shocked.

"You're willing to _let_ me turn you into my living Barbie? Wow. You were really curious. I love you too, by the way. Oh my god. Get in that house and shower. I'll bring in the bags and choose your outfit. Why are you still sitting there? _Go._" She said so fast that I barely understood her.

I did. I ran better than I had in weeks. Three days before I'd been freed from the prison of Das boot. I couldn't have been more excited. I actually did a cartwheel right outside the dr.'s office.

As I showered, I tried to figure out what Edward was planning. Apparently it was a weekend long thing. Where would we be going? Even better, how the hell did he manage to clear this with Charlie?

I took extra care to shave everything that needed to be shaved, being sure not to miss a single hair. I turned off the water and dried off before carefully applying lotion to my legs and arms. I took a deep breath and wrapped my towel around my torso before going to find Alice. I was afraid of what she'd pick out. Imagine my surprise when I walked in the room to find a plain black tank top, a pair of skinny jeans, and a pair of red peep-toe pumps that I'd never seen before.

"Oh, don't look so shocked, Bella. He said casual, I'm giving you casual. Now get dressed. Let me know when you're done. Don't touch your hair." She ordered and left the room.

I took a moment to admire the lacy black stuff. It was just a bra and a thong. It was the fact that they were black and lacy that scared me. That and what they signified.

_Holy shit. We were actually going to do this._

I hurried to get dressed while all my insecurities came flooding back. I tried my best to remember Edward's words. They became my mantra.

_I love you and you're good enough just by being you._

I repeated the words over and over as I got dressed before calling Alice back in. She worked diligently to make me presentable. She used minimal make up, just mascara and eyeliner, and styled my hair in loos curls that barely qualified as more than waves. She nodded in approval when she was done.

"You look great. I have to go. I'm supposed to meet Jasper in a little bit."

"Thanks Alice. I'll see you when you get back."

I hugged her enthusiastically.

"Have a good weekend." She said suggestively, wagging her eyebrows, just like Emmett would have.

"You, too. Now get out of here before you embarrass someone." I joked.

She left and I had no idea when Edward was planning on picking me up so I settled for watching some TV downstairs. For some reason I found myself watching a hockey game. I decided hockey players were sexy. Rose would've been proud. She was a sports fan.

I jumped when my phone finally vibrated. I glanced at it. Edward was calling.

"Hey." I answered.

"Hey. Are you ready?" He asked.

I smiled hearing his silky smooth voice.

"Yeah. I have been for a while."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, love. I told Alice to have you call me when you were ready. I guess she forgot."

"Damn her. Well, yeah. I'm ready. Are you coming now?"

"Yeah. I'll be there in a few minutes. I love you."

"I love you, too." I smiled.

We said our goodbye's and I went upstairs to get the shoes Alice picked out. By the time I was back downstairs and had put them on, Edward was knocking on the door.

I opened it with a smile. He was wearing faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt with sneakers. He looked delicious. I finally looked at his face and saw he was checking me out. I blushed.

"I forget how good Alice is with casual sometimes. You're beautiful." He finally said with his sexy smirk.

He leaned in a placed a soft kiss on my lips. I felt myself gin widely.

"You're not so bad yourself."

A slow smile graced his face and he wrapped his fingers around mine, before pulling my hand to his mouth to kiss it.

I may have swooned a bit.

"I got you flowers…" He mumbled.

"Oh. That's very sweet of you, but can I ask where they are?" I giggled.

"I was so excited to see you that I accidentally left them on my kitchen table." He explained.

I laughed and stepped over the threshold, closing and locking the door behind me.

He led me to the passenger side of his stupid shiny Volvo—which I still whole-heartedly believed was a mom car—and helped me into my seat. I watched him walk around to the drivers side and get in the car. We fastened our seat belts and he backed out of the driveway.

"When do I get to know where we're going?" I frowned.

"You'll be able to figure it out." He smirked.

I huffed and focused on where he was driving. He reached across the center console and held my hand in my lap.

"I promise you won't be disappointed."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I joked.

Once he took the 101 out of town I knew where we were going.

"We're going to the meadow?" I asked, giddily.

We hadn't been there in a while. I missed it. Then I realized something.

"Fucking Alice put me in heels." I complained.

"I thought of that already. I have shoes and socks for you in my trunk."

"Are you sure you were ever a boy scout?"

"Positive."

We joked and made small talk the rest of the way there. He pulled over at the end of the road and went to the trunk. He came to my door and handed me my hiking boots—how he got them, I'll never know—and instructed me to put them on. I did as he returned to the trunk and pulled backpack out of it. We made our way through the woods hand in hand. Amazingly, I didn't get hurt or complain once. Probably because I realized it's really only a fifteen minute hike. I totally over exaggerated last time we'd been there.

Eventually, we made it to the break in the trees and I swore I could hear music. My jaw dropped when we waked into the clearing.

There was an area in the middle of the meadow with a blanket, candles, a battery operated stereo that was playing smooth jazz, and what looked like a heat lamp.

"Wow."

"You like it?" Edward asked nervously.

"Edward, this is… I can't even… Wow."

I was speechless.

He pulled me farther into the meadow and motioned for me to sit on the blanket that was spread across the ground.

"Have I struck you dumb, love? You're awfully quiet."

I grinned and felt a tear drip down my cheek. He sat next to me and wiped it away.

"Good tear?"

"Very good. This is beautiful Edward. It's perfect. Thank you." I finally found my words.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with all the passion I could muster. He returned the kiss eagerly.

Finally he pulled away.

"We should eat." He breathed.

My stomach chose to ruin the moment by growling. We both laughed.

He reached for the backpack he'd brought and began pulling out food. There were two bottles of water, two sodas, and what looked like a mini pizza delivery bag. You know, the one that keeps the pizza warm. I grinned when he pulled out what looked like nachos.

"So you were listening for the last three day?" I joked.

He rolled his eyes.

"I always listen to what you say, Bella."

"I know." I smiled pulling a chip covered in cheese, jalepeños, black olives, hot sauce, and ground beef from the mound of food.

I moaned when the flavors hit my tongue. I'd spent the last three days wanting to eat nothing but nachos. I was in heaven.

"Keep making noises like that and you're going to seriously mess with my plans, love." Edward complained.

"That's what you get for being so elaborate." I joked.

"I guess so."

We continued to make small talk, mostly just talking about our days. I shivered at one point and he light the heat lamp. It was perfect. Eventually, the sun began to set, so we packed up the blanket, garbage, and candles into the backpack and I carried the small stereo back to the car while he took the backpack. Again, we were hand in hand and laughing the entire way.

One would think that after knowing him for nearly eighteen years, I'd be used to how easy he was to talk to and be around, but I was still constantly amazed by it. The love I felt for him was frequently overwhelming. He wasn't perfect by any means. Nobody was. He was perfect for me, though. He was exactly what I needed, when I needed him. I couldn't have created a better man to love me. I told him as much.

"I was just thinking the exact same thing." He whispered.

We quickly threw everything in the trunk of his car when we'd finally made it there. He walked me to the passenger side door. I expected him to open it and help me in, but he surprised me by pushing my back against the side of the vehicle and attaching his mouth to mine. My hands immediately found their way into his hair while his settled on my hips. He pushed himself even closer to me, which I didn't know was possible. I moaned softly into his mouth when I felt his arousal pressing into my stomach. I didn't want to wait any more. He pulled away, breathing heavily. My breathing pattern matched his.

I frowned when he moved us away from the door and opened it for me. He smiled.

"Don't worry, we'll get there." He assured.

I let him help me into the car and felt my own smile grow when he practically ran around the front of the car and proceeded to nearly dive into his seat.

"Don't worry, we'll get there." I joked, repeating his own words back to him.

He shot me an irritated glare. He swiftly turned the car around and sped back in the direction we'd come from. Once he was done with the u-turn, he reached for my hand and I happily allowed him to take it. That weird static feeling that could only come from endless sexual frustration was running rampant in the small space. I wanted to scream. Only the frustration wasn't endless anymore. The light at the end of the tunnel was approaching at break neck speeds, and I couldn't be happier about it. I also couldn't be more nervous. Why shouldn't I have been nervous? I was about to have consensual sex for the first time. It was kind of a huge deal to all involved.

The drive to where ever we were going seemed to take forever. I still didn't know where he was taking us. I was relieved when he pulled into his driveway. I was also confused. I was told this would be a weekend-long thing, but if we were just at his house, what could possibly happen?

Edward must have sensed my confusion.

"Alice is in Seattle for the weekend. My parents are in Houston for a medical conference or whatever." He explained as he put his car in park.

"Oh. Good." I smiled, well I tried to. It was probably more of a grimace because I was nervous.

He looked worried.

"Is this okay?" He asked, looking a little concerned.

"It's perfect," I assured him. "I'm just nervous."

He brought his hand to my cheek and stroked the skin softly, almost reverently.

"You have no reason to be nervous."

"I do, actually. I mean, I'm totally ready for this and everything, but I'm essentially about to lose my virginity. I mean, not really physically I guess, but in my mind that doesn't really count. It didn't really hit me how big of a deal that is until this morning."

"Let's go inside." He suggested and I nodded.

I waited for him to come open my door because I knew he liked to do it. He helped me out of the car and led me into the house. Instead of leading me upstairs, he led me to the kitchen. Instead of turning the lights on, he pulled out a lighter and lit two candles on the small table. I grinned seeing my flowers. I walked over to them and sniffed them while Edward went to the refrigerator.

"They're beautiful, thank you."

They were beautiful. There was a mix of red and orange roses, with some flower I didn't recognize mixed in.

"I'm glad you like them" He said, moving to the table with a plate of what looked like various chocolate covered fruits.

He pulled out a seat and gestured for me to sit. I sighed, but complied.

He was determined to stretch this out as long as possible. I was sure of it. I chose to keep that to myself, though. I knew he was doing this so it would be special, and if I'd skipped any part of it I'd regret it in the future.

I didn't need to say anything to rush things along, however. Edward managed that all on his own. He fed me a chocolate covered strawberry from the seat next to mine. After the first bite, the juices were running down my chin. He decided he needed to lick them off.

His mouth proceeded to attach itself to mine, the moment I swallowed the strawberry. Within minutes, we were on the stairs. Apparently I wasn't going fast enough because he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he practically ran up the remaining steps. He put me down at the top of the stairs and backed me into the nearest wall.

Let me tell you, it felt as hot as it looked in the movies.

"Edward." I sighed.

"Hmm?"

His mouth was attached to my exposed collarbone.

"Take me to the bed." I whispered.

I felt him smile against me skin before he pulled back and looked me in the eye. He looked insane. He had big goofy grin on his face. It screamed "I'm just as excited as you" and made my heart skip a beat or two. He intertwined our fingers and pulled me towards his bedroom. He closed the door behind us, even though we knew nobody would be there in interrupt. It was probably out of habit.

He pushed me against the back of the door.

"I love you, so much." He whispered.

"I love you, too."

My hands found the bottom of his shirt and I began pulling it over his head. He lifted his arms to ease the process. I took a second the admire the well defined muscles of his torso.

We fumbled awkwardly through the removal of our clothes until we were each left in just our undergarments. Edward in a pair of light blue boxers—I internally rolled my eyes at him—and me in the lacy, black set Alice had picked for me.

"You're so beautiful, Bella."

I blushed as Edward took in the appearance of my entire body hungrily.

He attached his mouth to mine again as he lifted me effortlessly again. Moments later, my back was nestled in the soft sheets of his bed. We shuffled so my head was on a pillow and he was resting between my legs, putting just enough weight on my smaller body. It felt amazing.

There were no words exchanged aside from the occasional moaning of a name. Our actions spoke for us.

Edward kissed along my upper chest as one of his hands moved around to my back and unfastened the clasp of my bra, which he swiftly removed. His mouth moved all over my torso, paying special attention to my scars and my nipples. I gasped and sighed over and over. I'd never felt so cherished and loved. I nearly cried realizing that's exactly what I was. I was as important to Edward as he was to me.

Eventually, my thong was removed and added to the pile of clothing on the floor. Edward froze and may have drooled a bit when he saw that I'd been waxed. I silently thanked Alice. I thanked her even more when Edward scooted farther down the bed and attached his mouth to me. This was, obviously, a new experience for me. There were no words to describe it.

Within minutes I was seeing stars and screaming incoherently.

I whimpered at the loss of contact when Edward moved away from me. I watched him like a hawk. His boxers were quickly discarded and he leaned over to his nightstand. I bit my lip as I watched him roll the condom on to himself. He moved back over me and I moaned when he ground himself into me. I looked into his eyes and I could see the question there. He wanted to be sure I was ready. I nodded in encouragement and reached down to him. I gave him a couple gentle strokes before I aligned him with my entrance.

Feeling him there, I felt no fear. I saw nothing but his brilliant, shining green eyes that conveyed nothing but love at that moment. I didn't remember the pain, or the screaming. I forgot the names and the bruises. All I saw, felt, and thought of was Edward and the love we shared.

After a few moments, he tentatively pushed into me. I gasped.

I'd had no idea it could feel so good. This certainly put the rabbit to shame. For a moment, I was thankful for my past allowing me to enjoy this moment so completely, with absolutely no pain. There was just overwhelming pleasure and love as Edward moved carefully inside of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, the new angle allowed him to go deeper.

I lost all concept of space and time. I couldn't tell you if it lasted five-seconds or five days. In the back of my mind I acknowledged his fingers on my clit, and the sounds coming from the both of us. I was too out of it to care. I screamed in my release and Edward quickly followed, much quieter.

We lay there in silence for what seemed like hours. We were on out sides, facing each other. We were intertwined as much as possible. Our legs were jumbled mess and our arms were wrapped comfortably around each other's bodies. I couldn't remember a moment where I'd been happier.

I pulled back enough to look Edward in the eye.

"I love you. Thank you for making this perfect."

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**Bella got laid! Woo! So sweet it makes me nauseous. Now, on to more important things.**

**In regards to the Fandom Fights the Floods compilation, I have two one-shots in the works. I'm unsure of which one to submit. One is fully written, and one is in the works still. Which ever one I don't submit will be posted here. As for the two options, I'm leaving it up to you all. Below are the summaries, help me decide which to post and which to give to charity. One is a serious kind of thing, and the other, well... It's kind of cracked out.**

**Option 1: _Meanwhile, in Chicago: _Edward was adopted as a baby. He loves his family, and his fiance, Bella. However, he decided he wanted to know his biological parents. It takes years, but he finally tracks them down and gets a look into the life he could've had.**

**Option 2: _The Dream: _Target is the size of the mall of America and Jasper knows Kung Fu? What kind of mess could Bella possibly have gotten herself into, and is it even real?**

**_The Dream_ is still being written, but I have to say... It's full of insanity. I'm in love with it. The other one, I was thinking of making into a multi-chapter fic. That one shot would be a chapter, obviously.**

**Anyway, I'm excited to hear your guys' thoughts on this.**

**I'd like to again thank all for you for reading my story and for all the kind reviews and the favorites and alerts. They all mean the world to me. You're all full of awesome with side of kickass.**


	26. Epilogue

**Sad face. The epilogue. I'm proud of myself for finishing a story. I'm sad to see it end, but have no fear, I'll be back after my lovely vacation in Florida with my cousins to my grandparents house with a day in Disney (win).**

**Thank you guys so much for sticking with me through this, regardless of how long I took between updates and the fact that I _literally_ forgot about it once... which I still feel bad about lol. I love you all and I can't even begin to thank you all enough for your kind reviews.**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do however, own this final disclaimer of Pixie Dust. I like my disclaimers. They're witty and such._**

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I looked at my surprisingly beautiful bridesmaid dress. It was simple, but it was a dark green that matched Edward's eyes perfectly. My makeup was flawlessly done by a professional, as was my hair. My usual brown waves were twisted this way and that into an elaborate half pony with lots of curls. Even _I_ thought I looked beautiful. I hadn't thought that on my own since prom.

"Bella. How do I look? Do I look terrible? Be honest, please. I'm freaking out here." Kate rambled.

I turned to her and grinned.

"You look stunning, Kate. Charlie is going to have a heart attack when he sees you."

It was the truth. Her blonde hair was twisted into the most elaborate up do I'd ever seen. Her eyes were framed by thick, long lashes. Her dress was unbelievable. It was a simple off white halter dress and it flared out beginning at her hips. Well, it was simple except for the intricate beading that covered her torso.

Charlie really was going to shit a brick when he saw her.

She nodded anxiously. I could tell she was incredibly nervous. She liked being the center of attention about as much as I did. Which was a little odd considering she was a teacher and it was her job to be the center of attention.

I glanced out the only window in the room and smiled at the soft green of spring.

Charlie and Kate decided to have a long engagement. It lasted nearly two years. All the Cullen kids and I were on Spring Break from UW. All three couples were still intact, although Rose and Emmett had a hard time getting through their year of separation. Emmett came home at every chance he had.

I was brought out of my memories by a quick knock on the door. I turned to see Tanya, Kate's maid of honor, open the door to reveal Carlisle, Charlie's best man.

"They're ready to begin." He informed us.

I was nervous. I was fully aware of my tendency to fall down at the most inconvenient moments. I also knew Edward would be standing at the end of that aisle. Charlie had asked him to be a groomsman. We both knew that in a few years, it would most likely be us that this revolved around. If it were up to Edward, it would be much sooner than later.

I wanted to graduate college first. He wanted to run to Vegas.

"Bella, it's your turn."

I jumped at the sound of Tanya's voice and walked through the doors towards the altar.

I did not see the entire Cullen family watching me with tears in their eyes. I did not see Kate's family and friends. I did not see anyone from the reservation. My eyes immediately met Edward's. His eyes were glazed over, and he had a smile on his face. It was a look I'd come to know very well over the years.

"You're beautiful." He mouthed to me.

I felt myself blush.

In that moment, I wished it were me getting married. Seeing Edward in his tux did funny things to me. I was mad at myself for being so determined to wait.

The ceremony was a blur. I spent the entire thing fiddling with the shiny new ring on my left hand. It had been there for about a week. Edward proposed in his childhood bedroom, of all places. However, that room held a lot of significance to us. It was perfect.

The next thing I knew, my dad was kissing Kate and Edward was holding his arm out to escort me down the aisle.

"I don't want to wait." I said for only him to hear.

His smile was blinding.

"I love you, Bella Swan. You tell me the moment you're ready, and we'll get things started."

The night passed in a blur. The only time I cried was during the father-daughter dance. Charlie cried, too. The last time we'd danced together was for Edward's much older cousin's wedding when I was nine. I stood on his feet for the whole thing, then.

Eventually, we wished the happy couple luck and sent them off on their honeymoon to some sunny caribbean island. Edward and I were staying the night at Charlie's house before returning to school the next day. I fell right into bed when we reached my room, not bothering to remove my makeup, clothes, or hair accessories.

"I'm so tired." I complained.

I'm pretty sure Edward rolled his eyes at me. He pulled my shoes off before going to the bathroom and returning with a wet washcloth, q-tips, and my eye makeup remover. He handed me the q-tips and let me get my eye makeup off before he gently wiped the rest of the gunk off my face. He left the mess on the nightstand to clean up in the morning. He sat me up and pulled my dress over my head, revealing my lacy green undergarments. The plan had, after all been for him to be getting laid tonight. I was just too tired, though. He proceeded to find every single bobby pin in my hair so I'd be more comfortable trying to sleep.

"There's so many of them." He complained.

"I know. You'll probably still miss some. They're like the ninjas of the hair accessory world."

"That they are." He sighed.

When he was finally finished, he helped me under the covers before stripping down to his underwear and pulling me into his side. I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder and smiled when I felt his fingers running through my hair.

"Why did you change your mind?" He asked.

"About what?"

"About waiting."

"Because I love you. Walking down that aisle today and seeing you standing at the end, it made me realize I'm foolish to wait because nothing is going to change in the next couple years. I don't want to wait to tie myself to you in every way possible." I explained.

I could practically hear him smile.

"When do you want to do this?" He asked.

"I don't know. I get the feeling that it'll take a while to plan a wedding and do well enough in college at the same time." I frowned.

Edward was silent for a few moments.

"I think we should elope. Then, when you graduate, we can have a ceremony for all of our family and friends. I don't want to wait any longer than necessary." He whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"I love that idea almost as much as I love you." I sighed before finally letting sleep overtake me.

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**This story _most likely_ won't have a sequel. _If_ it happens, it won't be my next story. I'm glad/sad to finally hit the complete button. I'll miss you guys while I'm out of things to post. I will be starting my next story soon, though so put me on author alert and make sure you don't miss it :)**

**Fandoms 4 Floods: The majority of people think I should submit _The Dream_ to the compilation and go ahead with the full length story for _Meanwhile, in Chicago_. So, because I'm compliant, that's how it's going to happen. Thank you for all the opinions on the matter!**

**Thank you all again for taking this journey with me! You're all awesome!**

**Until next time,**

**Allie**


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